On sweat

I don't want to sound as tough I am complaining about the weather in Wupopertal. It has been warm, but there always is the threat of rain in the air. As a result I usually wear a coat, and this means I sweat a lot.

As the saying goes: "horses sweat, men perspire, and women only glow". In my case even the mildest activity causes a river to flow out of my pores. I was embarrassed last week when after walking to work, I went into the little cafe near my office. My T-shirt was drenched in sweat. I certainly thought of all the adverts I had seen on TV, where a man loses his girlfriend because he sweats, or a man looks cool, because he doesn't sweat after rushing around an airport.

I feel slightly resentful that I am not allowed to sweat in public. I don't go around hugging people, so what does it matter? When I see my sweat I think of all the toxins that are leaving my body. I could of course go to a sauna to sweat in private, but I hear such tales about such places, and I am more of a massage parlor kind of guy.

After watching many TV adverts I know that all I need to do is to use more deodorant. I have been experimenting with spraying my back as well. On Wednesday I huffed and puffed my way up the hill to the front door of my flat. There was a beautiful women at the door ringing a bell of one of the flats. She was wearing an elegant black dress, and looked as though she was going out for a stylish and expensive. I let her into the building. She got into the lift with me to go up the door of her friend. She wasn't visibly repulsed, by so the use of the additional deodorant is beginning to work its magic. How could I doubt the advertising.

football

I have been trying to read the English language version of Spiegel to get a German perspective on the news. I was amused by the article about England's draw with the USA at the football world cup. I particularly like their idea of what to paint on the football to help the English goal keepers.

In the article they mention that every German knows that the third goal in the game where England won the world cup was not a real goal. What? I am trying to repress this knowledge. What if I get asked the question, "so what did you learn in Germany," and I say "you know that third goal ...". I would be on the ground getting a good kicking in microsecond, and that is the best case that I am talking to a family member or friends. Best to forget about getting a German perspective.

dreaming work

I have been having a lot of work related dreams recently.

Many years ago I stopped lying in bed worrying about how much work I have to do, because I can't function without enough sleep. If I don't sleep because I was worried about work, then I get less work done the next day because I am sleepy, I would lie awake and worry more. This is known as negative feedback. Anyway, these days if I start dreaming stressful work dreams, I religiously change the dream into a more sexual theme. I need need my rest and I have appetites like everyone else.

I did sleep badly on Sunday, because as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw vivid blue colours. I then spent a lot of time thinking "I must remember this for my blog." So sleep didn't come fast.In one of my work related dreams, I found myself criticizing a local colleague. This was received very badly by the people I was talking to, and I ended up backing down in a humiliated matter. Trouble, with all the dreams I have been having, I started to worry that this incident happened in the real world, and the dream was just an echo of that.

Love Cast Out All Evil

Friends can you remember the time before the internet, when the only way to find new music was to walk around a record shop. I used to buy CDs or tapes that looked cool, but then I wouldn't know much about the artist. In some sense this was a better time, it does effect my judgement when I find out about an artist, rather than just listening to their sounds.

When I used to live in Kentucky I found a CD by Roky Erickson, and it was loud explosive and awesome. After that I would look out for CDs, and buy then whenever I found them. He was never that prolific though.

With the Internet I now know of Roky's rocky history with mental illness. I did try to listen to the "13th floor elevators" the famous band he was in during the 60s, but I didn't get too much into it. However, I really like the electric jug playing that you can see them play on Youtube.

Anyway Roky Erickson has a new album out and it is great! I have been listening to it as I walk to work. Forget the Guardian review

On Jazz

I probably own less than 10 Jazz CDs, I wouldn't say I dislike Jazz. Occasionally I have come across a part of Jazz concert on TV and I have been put off by the long solos. Too much technique

There have been odd exceptions. In that I really like John Coltrane, but mostly I have not really tried to get into Jazz.

I was amused one time to hear that Alistair Cook who did the letter from America slot on the radio5 for many years tell a story, about playing a Jazz record to his mum. She burst into tears, because she regarded Jazz as for criminals and drug fiends. (This was before pop and rock I might add). This struck me as cool. There is a Jazz connection to the wildness of the Beat generation of course. But while their life style was wild, I was unconvinced by the music.

After having my musical tastes broadened by the freakzone radio show, I found that I like Free Jazz. Some people think it is chaotic, but that is what I like about it. The video below is by Ornette Coleman (Dancing In Your Head). Its groovy.

The Romantic Manifesto

I needed a book while I washed my clothes. So the last couple of sessions I have been reading "The Romantic Manifesto" by Ayn Rand.

The start of the blurb at the back of the book goes like: "in this beautifully written and brilliantly reasoned book, Ayn Rand throws a light on the nature of the art...." So you can see that humility is not one of her strong points.

I do like that she tried to write a philosophical novels (although she doesn't like the term). She is very keen on plot. After reading her discussion of music, I wouldn't try to introduce the Fall to her.

I would like to just say that I view "Atlas shrugged" as an evil book. In this Southpark agree with me.

my secret shame

Although I am (sort of) enjoying learning German, one problem is that we are expected to speak about the past and our feelings. Both of which I am not very good at, even if using English.

Today was a low point. I was asked to tell the class about famous building in the UK. I would like to point out, that although I was technically born in Southampton, I grew up in the North West of England, so that is where my sympathies lie. I start sweating when I am in the South of England (and that is not because it is hotter there) and I feel paranoid.

So when I started looping through the famous buildings of the UK, my mind went blank, and I could only think of famous buildings in London. Oh, the shame of it. Will I ever be able to walk down a street in Manchester again? The teacher kept saying can you mention any famous buildings outside London, but only a list of London buildings came from my mouth.. I suddenly had an inspiration and said the name of famous building associated with satanism, called Old Trafford. Oh the shame of it! Will I ever be able to walk down a street in Liverpool again?

I felt like Judas. The London mafia has brainwashed me.

Japanese festival in Dusseldorf

Last Saturday I went to the Japanese festival in Dusseldorf. The fstival was held on the bank of the Rhein close to the Aldstadt. There was a big firework display that I didn't stay for, because it didn't start to till late.

The festival had a lot of stalls that sold Japanese stuff and food. The food was a bit disappointing. They had to serve a lot of people, so there wasn't a sushi chef there, just the prepared boxes. I did get to drink a glass of Saki, so that was good. There were a lot of people wearing Japanese costumes. There were also a lot of Goths wearing black, but they could have also been characters from Manga. Who could tell. There were a number of people wearing Samurai swords. Perhaps they were fake, but I don't think so. I don't see that the British police would have been too happy to see swords at a UK festival.

An Englishman's home is a castle

I don't want to sound paranoid but I don't like answering the door, unless I know an appointment has been made. It is more likely to be someone who is trying to sell me something.

So I was not best pleased to hear the bell. I went to the door and pressed the intercom button. This was a good opportunity to try some German, so I said "yes". No response. So I thought good. A minute later the bell went again and then even worse there was a knock on my door of my flat.

I opened the door. A man and a woman stared at me. The man started talking to me in English. They were some kind of missionaries, who wanted to send me to some Bible school. I was just going to get my horse whip, when I remembered that I didn't have one. I did think of inviting them in to have a theological discussion on the balcony. "Yes that is an interesting point. Just let me get hold of your legs..."

After a short conversation I ended up with a book that I didn't want. The guy was very persuasive, so I have the horrible suspicion that they will come back to talk to me about it. Perhaps they will help me win the Templeton prize.

If you are reading this and you are thinking I am some kind of anti-social freak, or the mental illness meter has swung from creative and different to social misfit, because I don't like opening the door. I would like to point out that I am just applying a SPAM filter to the people coming to my door. I also refer you to. Safety first!

a projection of a dream

Last night although I had drunk enough beer to stop me dreaming I had a dream in the early morning. I was talking to a well known physicist about physics. He wanted to make some point about and he pulled out a remote control and used it to project a paper onto the wall.

What would have Freud thought about my dream? I can't even found some great company to produce small portable data projectors, because Amazon already sells them. This is what happens when you spend too much time online, your dreams are inspired by Amazon.

The girl with the dragon tattoo

I had a lot to do last weekend, so it was a mistake to start reading "The girl with the dragon tattoo" last Sunday. There seem to be a lot of crime writing coming from Sweden. First there was Wallander, and now there are the books by Stieg Larson, and I care about people with names such as Lisabeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist.

There are two more books in this series that I will have to read fairly soon.

How to study in college

I have finished reading "How to study in College" by Walter Pauk. The book contained a lot of useful information about how to study at University. The chapter on taking notes in lectures was interesting, particularly when I failed to understand my notes from last Friday's German class. Perhaps I will start using the Cornell system for notes.

Certainly there is more to college than beer and cheerleaders.

comic timing

I was given the "Mock the week: this years book" as a present

at Christmas. I enjoyed reading some of the jokes, although

they were a bit cruel at times. It reminded me of the

"famous" discussion about a joke on "Mock the week" that was

on Newsnight. The video shows the importance of comic

timing.

BBC trust

Below is my written submission to the BBC trust to try to stop them closing my favorite radio station down.

I am against the closure of radio6! At the moment I almost exclusively listen to radio 6 to learn about new music.

The majority of the output from Radio 1 could be covered on a commercial radio station. Apart from John Peel and a few other shows, radio 1 has a poor record of producing cutting edge music shows. Although I understand why Chris Moyles is on radio1, I don't see how his show is consistent with the BBC's new strategic principles. It is difficult to believe that the specialist shows on radio6 could transfer to radio1 and not be diluted and changed.

Many of the shows on radio6 could not survive in the commercial sector, however they do enhance the culture of the UK. New music is also important to the economy, for example by people downloading music and going to gigs, so it useful if there is national station that informs people of new sounds.

Please don't close radio6.

I think you will be doing more than "Reducing the BBC offer in pop music radio by closing 6 Music" Radio 6 puts out mostly specialsed innovative music, rather than just "pop music". The station is not a clone of radio 1. It provides musc that is not available in the commercial sector.

Although I occasionally use lastfm, there is no substitute for a knowlegable expert presenting a show.

Please don't shut 6music down.

Blue Bamboo

It has been a beautiful day in Wuppertal. The sun was bright, but there was a cool breeze to keep everyone cool. I sat on my balcony and watched the wind play with the leaves of the trees in the forrest.

I wanted to go to the park, but I get too depressed. It would have been full of people playing games and eating picnics. But I would have felt like an outsider, if I had walked amongst them.

I finished off "Blue Bamboo" by the Japenese writer Osamu Dazai. This was a collection of fantasy tales. The book started and ended with a stories about a family of five children who amuse themselves by writing a story. The story was a chain, with each part being written by one of the children. Each part of the story reflected the personality of the author. The stories were very warm, even when the subject matter was a bit bleak. The stories were so well written, that they filled me with me joy (a rare event).

When I looked up Osamu Dazai I see a life of pain and suicide. Today's joy died on a wikepedia page, Perhaps I will order another book by Osamu Daza, such as no longer human. That will cheer me up.

The 4-day work week.

I have just finished reading "the 4-hour work week" by Timothy Ferriss. The book was about how the author automated his business so he only needed to spend 4 hours a week working. The rest of his time he lived abroad and leaned new skills such as dancing or languages.

I liked some parts of the book. I liked the idea of mixing leisure and work, rather than putting off life until retirement. The idea that a business doens't have to keep growing. At some stage once the business is providing an adequate income, then a decision can be made to make it easy to run, rather than getting a lot more difficult customers, to get a bit more money.

However, there were a number of things I didn't like about the book. Ferriss's business was some kind of supplement for either althletic performance or better study skils. In fact he switched between them with out change, as far as I can tell. So my best guess is that his product is a placebo. When he was at University, if he got bad grades, he would go to the TA and ask them about his grades for a couple of hours, until he wore them down. Then the TA would be too scared to give bad grades again. So he is a wheeler and dealer type of guy.

Also he recommends not reading much. Look Tim dude, what did they fu*cking teach you at Havard. I like reading.

dreams

I didn't drink any alcohol on Sunday, so I had some strange dreams. I started off by taking opium in an opium den. It didn't effect me until I went to sleep, and the the drug and smoke hit me. Then I woke up. Later that night, I had a dream that I was traveling in time. I would travel to the present to do chi**2 minimization fits. Then I woke up. At the very least, I will cut down on the number of times I listen to Sherlock Holmes on the BBC iPlayer.

Last night I was sleeping well, until I had a dream about getting a message on facebook that one of the people I grew up with was dead. I woke up in despair. As my thoughts cleared, I realised since I had not had a couple of shots before I slept, so it must have been a dream.

These bad dreams mean I am not sleeping well. I feel terrible all day. What would Freud say about my dreams? Who can tell, he would probably be too annoyed with me for telling him "he was wrong, wrong, so wrong."

Hair

If you saw me today, you would have seen me stop at every possible place at work and admire myself. Perhaps I was being vain, but I was just happy I had done something I had been putting off for a couple of months. My hair was getting wilder and wilder, and I was worried that I was beginning to look like being a mad scientist. Madness I can deal with, but I don't want to look mad.

There are many challenges in living in a foreign country. Getting a hair cut is definitely one of the biggest challenges. What if I had gone into the barbers and I had came out with a perm, because of my poor German!

Today I decided I was going to get a haircut. I had seen a barbers (Frisseur) close to the main supermarket. It looked a bit posh to me, but when I looked in the shop, the man cutting the hair had the physique of a man who likes beer, sausage and schnapps. After waiting outside I picked up courage and went into the shop. The barber said "Was?", I replied "Haar schneiden bitte", and he pointed me to the chair, while he finished off cutting the hair of his current customer.

When it was my turn to have my hair cut. I started with "Tut mir leid, mein Deutsch ist sehr schlect" and then started to point to my hair. He said "Ja". How rude I thought. Anyway he cut my hair and talked to his friend. I payed and left.

I don't have high standards on these things, but I don't like the hair cut too much. My hair is a bit thick. However, since he used a cut throat razor on me, I was happy. I had to make sure I didn't start drooling when I saw the razor in his hand. One day I will my own.

On love

Some random thoughts on love.

At the moment Friday is my busiest day at work. Last week I was rushing to get some breakfast at the cafe close to my office. Two people who were clearly in love got in my way. It was all secret smiles and shared happiness. OK, fine, if you are in love, I am happy for you, but don't do it in front of the food, because some of us have 15 minutes to get a sandwich. Perhaps, I should have said "fucking schnell", rather than let it irate it me all week.

On the TV there are many adverts for online dating. (they get more pornographic later at night). There is one with a woman who is telling the TV how happy she is with her new partner. As part of the advert it shows her jumping up and down on a trampoline and staring at her new partner. Ok, the Internet tells me that jumping up and down on a trampoline is good for fitness. However, I would be scared if I went round to a woman's house and she starts jumping up and down on a trampoline and staring at me. I would say a quick "bye bye freak", before I run to the garden gate before she jumps on me.

I am not a great fan of Salmon Rushdie. I don't rate his book "Midnight's Children", so I will be pretty pissed if he gets the nobel prize for literature. The attached picture might me laugth though. She's going to dump him (or perhaps already has). I know I am being mean, but there it is.

A visitation of the plague

I got up this morning and saw the day was sunny. I thought perhaps a stroll through the park might be in my future, rather than turning on my computer and trying to work.

Instead I decided it was the perfect day to read "A visitation of the plague" by Daniel Defoe. I didn't read the back of the book correctly, because it described the book as an imaginary reconstruction of the great plague of London. I thought it was a real account, but according to wikipedia it was made up, because he was a child when the plague hit London.

I particularly liked a scene when he comes up to crowd around a woman, who saw an angel in the clouds. Defoe just sees a cloud with the sun on it. With so many people dying of the plague I don't begrudge a bit of hysteria.