(Not) opening a wine bottle with a shoe.

Because I essentially do nothing, but sit on my balcony and watch he leaves on the forest in front of my building, i find it difficult sometimes to maintain conversation. After reading books on human communication I try to bring a few party tricks to a social occasions -- just to stop any awkward breaks in the conversation

Last weekend I was invited to a barbecue. I had seen on German TV, a trick where you could open a bottle of wine with a shoe. I thought this would be a good party trick, to show what a cool dude I am.

As I prepared to open the bottle, I could feel the excitement in the air. Pictures were taken. Unfortunately I couldn't get the trick to work. The cork stayed in the bottle!

I felt such a failure! Once a party trick has failed, on one takes any notice of the views of the person who tried the trick. I convinced no one that the earth is hollow, or that the pollen falling on use was spore from Mars. It can be good to be unable to open wine bottles. On one recent occasion, it was pointed out to me I had no idea how to use a waiters bottle opener, I was happy and put on my well-this-proves-I-am-not-a-raving-alcoholic face. I should take this as a learning experience. I should practice any new party tricks, before I try them out of an audience. Fuck it, perhaps I will just use hypnotism to make them to think I am a top fellow.