On Suicide

I pulled a bunch of unread books from a crate in my office and took them home. On top of a pile of books was a book by the philosopher David Hume called "On Suicide". The front cover had the quote: "I believe that no man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping". Thanks Penguin, I was unhappy and depressed, so having this book stare at me didn't really cheer me up.

However, when I read this short book, I found that only one short chapter was about suicide. The other chapters were on ethics and aesthetics. The chapter on sucide was all about whether God minds whether a person kills themselves. Frankly not something I would worry about.

Easter in Germany is boring. Most of the shops close and everything is pretty dead. Given that they close the shops on Sunday it is a long weekend.

I usually work for 2 hours on Sunday morning. I then eat and watch the A-team (in German) on the TV. Today, there was no A-team, just some film about some dude called "Moses". This was some kind of sword and sandals film. Of course there are other channels. I could have switched over to watch Black beauty. Grrr. Anyway the A-team came on later, so all was well.

Indestructable Euro notes

This past six months I have washed my hands more than any peroid in my life. This was partly because of all the concerns about bird flu, but also I felt a bit dirty, because I have to handle Euros all day.

There has been a lot of talk recently about the fate of the Euro. This is based on the problems of Greece's debt. However, I am pleased to report I have some evidence that the Euro is stronger than many people think.

I pulled a clean pair of jeans from the wardrobe. I found a 10 Euro note in the pocket. The note had survived being washed. The occasions I have left British money in the pockets of trousers that have been washed, I stare at a crumbled up piece of paper and think of what type of lager I could have got with this money.

Given the strength of Euro I feel much more European. Perhaps I will start wearing a beret. Also perhaps I should start to learn how to usa a bidet. I have been too embarrassed to ask anyone how to use one, but thanks to youtube, I can get all the facts.

space

Here is an exciting action packed video of my hotel room in Portugal. This cost me 12 pounds a night. It was huge. In fact when I got back to Germany, I was depressed because my flat here is 2 to 3 times smaller than the hotel room. Then I remembered the reason why I live in a small flat is because it is easy to clean.

pool

Below are some photographs of the hotel pool in Portugal. I only saw 2 people in the pool over the full week. Early Sunday morning I did hear a lot of splashing and shouting. Party animals I thought. There was a pool side bar, so I did vaguely think about spending all day drinking there. But the lack of people would have made it depressing. (Drinking all day would be bad of course).

Sinister concrete fountain

Here is a picture of what I think is a fountain that was close to my hotel in Portugal. This is not exactly a wishing well. Some water comes out of steel grill. What is the point? It was not as if the water was used to help plants grow

Portugal

Somewhat confusingly I write this post from Portugal. I am staying in a cheap hotel in a town called Portimao. It is very touristy area, but has a certain style about it. I have been here for a couple of days now. I have just been lazing around and reading. The weather has been warm, but not really hot, however I am walking around in a t-shirt and shorts. I am not totally warm, but it is a holiday (and the thing to do if you grew up in the North-West of England).

It is off seaon at the moment, so the place is empty. There are lots of places to drink here, but I don't like being the only person in a bar. Every night there are football games on the TV. For example, yesterday ManU versus Liverpool. After that there was a big European game. So the sound of sport is played out in every empty bar.

Although it a famlity type area there are a couple of sex shops and a strip bar. Perhaps the strip bar is full of people in the evening.

no spare time for Wolfenstein

This is not a science blog, but I was amused by this link. I did see that paper on the Wolfenstein parameterization of the CKM matrix, but I decided from the abstract that it was probably crap, so I ignored it.

Of course after climategate it could be that I am a narrow minded scientist, but there are only so many hours in the day and many more worthy things to worry about. In the unlikey event of it being an important result, I am sure someone will let me know.

a fighter's heart

I just finished reading "a fighter's heart" by Sam Sheridan. Sam tells stories of him training in various martial arts. He starts off training in Muay Thai, but he also worked on his ground work in Brazil (where else). He also hangs out with some dog fighting people.

He also spent some time meditating, but he was bored by that, and only got into it just before he left.

I liked the parts about failure the best. He was sparring in a boxing gym, and the opponent He had a bad injury to his ribs that had stopped him training, but he was better. His opponent hit him in the ribs and he freaked and totally lost the fight. He had a lot of negative dialogue where he started worrying, and he lost focus. This used to happen to me all time. (If I every fought Sam I would train a lot of body shots to the ribs, but maybe he is smart and actually has problems with getting punched in the head. I know that this makes me sound like a bad person, but this is the way fighting works).

He did seem to get injured a lot. I felt sorry for him. He went to train in Brazil, but he injured his shoulder, so he couldn't train.

Nice try Tory, but I still hate you.

I finally understand what it means to be bought off by politicians. Download speed is an important quality of life issue. However being able to download a movie from Itunes in a minute will not make up for being under Tory rule. Even living in Germany, I am starting to feel ill with the idea that they will be back.

This means this

I have just finished reading "This means this, this means that a user's guide to Semiotics". I have been listening to Baldi on the BBC iplayer. Normally I hate priests, but Baldi is also a lecturer in semiotics, and he solves crimes. I wanted to be cool as well.

The book had a picture or some banner text on every page with a couple of paragraphs discussing it. For example, see the picture attached. Does this picture represent my feelings about Semiotics? But perhaps, if you knew that I was a particle physicist, the picture might represent my goal of the unification of forces to one single force. Maybe it is my view of string theory? Or more likely I just copied it from the Internet to make this post longer without having to write more text. This post must be enough to make me Prof. of Semiotics.

Godzilla

Yet more snow in Germany! While I was watching TV, I saw a TV program that asked what is your favourite between the American and Japanese version of Godzilla. They then illustrated the question by showing Godzilla destroying the Sydney opera house. How much more international can you get?

in the beginning was the command lin

I can't help feeling that Neal Stephenson is one of us. Stephenson is a famous science fiction writer I have just read "in the beginning was the command line". This is a short book about operating systems and computers from a users perspective. Although it is over 10 years old, I really enjoyed reading it. Most of it is still relevant

One point that book makes is that people don't buy Microsoft windows for rational reasons. Somehow it is a bizzare group delusion. Once that dream is over Microsoft will have problems. (I am not sure how getting a "free copy" of windows with every PC you buy, effects the group delusion.)

Nasty Torys are almost back...

Although I have not bothered to vote in the last few elections, I am starting to dread the next election when those nasty conservatives will get back into power. It is difficult to describe how much Thatcher and her cronnies were hated. This recession has been bad, but somehow this time around the goverment actually did something, rather than say "when my father didn't have a job, he got on his bike to find one."

The omens are not good. We are back in dispute with Argentina about the Falklands. Perhaps there will be another war once Cameron gets into a difficult patch after a few years in office.

I was sad to see that Micheal Foot had died. He was the last of the generation of a particular type of politician and journalist. I remember how the Sun attacked him for wearing a donkey jacket at a memorial. So Murdoch has won again, we are only allowed people like Blair or Blair clones like Cameron as leaders.

Since this post is turning into a bit of a rant, I really am unhappy about the closure of the 6music radio station. As per usual it is a Tory based attack on culture. 6music plays lots of interesting music, it is really sad to have it taken from us. I have joined the relevant facebook group and I will write a strong letter to the BBC trust. That shit Murdoch!

Just to lighten the mood, the video is of Bono falling off a stage.

Cryptonomicon

I once read a memoir by some guy who was on the outer fringes of the beat movement. He worked in a book shop, and perhaps inevitably he had some problems with alcohol. He wrote he was an optimistic person, because he started reading "War and Peace" in his middle 20s, but he finished it in his 30s.

I sort of feel the same thing about the book Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I am pretty sure I started reading this when I was living in Liverpool over 3 years ago. I finished it this afternoon. I has forgotten some of the characters, during my long period of not reading it. I think I stopped reading when one of my favorite characters got addicted to morphine (Iam romantic like that).

The book is very hacker friendly. It has not dated that badly, apart from a section where he stores some data onto a floppy disk. If I was more keen I would have played with the perl script included.

I did enjoy one section, where one of the mathematicians writes down an equation for the amount of sex he needs to work effectively.

carnival

So it is start of Carnival time around here in Germany. I am still slightly confused what this involves. There is some tradition that women are allowed to cut men's ties off and they have to kiss the man. This almost gave me a third reason to wear a tie, beyond funerals and job interviews. Apparently now some women only cut a man's tie off, but they don't give a kiss. I blame feminism.

Below are some carnival related songs. Tim put me on to Jackson Frank.

dreams and strokes

This freezing winter has meant that I have not really been out much this year so far. There has been to much ice and snow on the road for me to want to explore. So I go to work, come home and maybe go to the supermarket when I am out of vitals and beer. So I just dream.

However last night I dreamt I had a small part in a film. I was a bit worried that I didn't have a script for my part. But I mostly seemed to go into hotels for breakfast with people. At the end of the dream, I found out that there was no script, but I was going to read the part from a prompter. My acting role was in German, so I think I was worried about the German test I did today.

However, in my dream was a friend I grew up with. He had a stroke and was having problems talking, because of the stroke. I like this person, but I didn't seemed to bothered by his illness. (In real life they are healthy). All day I felt guilty about my treatment of my friend in the dream, but then I thought if I didn't actually do anything to harm him (apart from the binge drinking I did with him in my teens and early 20s), then perhaps I didn't do anything wrong. I would have forgotten about the dream, if I had not forced myself to remember it, so I would write about it. I have felt bad all day, because of the guilt my friend exposed me to, and this is probably the reason I have failed my German exam. I will send an email to him, to try and get the bastard to apologize to me.

On tea

Sometimes I am just such a slob. I was happy to find a reasonable priced variety of Tea at my local supermarket. I was getting sick of paying 3 Euros for a packet of 50 teabags. I am happy now that I can buy 50 Ceylon-Assam tea bags made by "Ja" for under 1 Euro.

Unfortunately there was an essay on tea in the Guardian, so perhaps I should explore different types of tea, and perhaps even clean my mug more often. I like the idea that a cup of tea was is a comfort. Perhaps that is why I drink so much tea.

Mad, Bad and dangerous

I have just finished reading "Mad, Bad and dangerous --the scientist and the cinema", by Christopher Frayling. In my first draft of the post I had a sentence of the form: "Among us hard science types we don't much like media studies type degrees". When I thought about I couldn't remember actually having a discussion about "media studies" with anyone, and in fact I have no idea what the field of media studies actually involves. The tabloid press (via google news) are always complaining about the number of people taking degrees in media studies.

Anyway I thought Frayling's book was a great study of the scientist portrayed in the cinema. He discusses both the mad scientist film and the biopic (of Madame Curie for example). Given that some attempts to do outreach of research can be misrepresented by the press, it is important to understand how science is portrayed in the media. (Of course I can't blame the media for talking about the "God particle", that is bullshit from certain section of the physics community).

The end of the book is now slightly out of date, because of shows like: CSI, big bang theory, and num3ers, show scientists in a slightly more realistic light.

Gil Scott-Heron

When I used to work in Wembley around 1985, a person I worked with took me to see a gig that was part of the red wedge tour. (This was a bunch of artists supporting the labour party -- pre-Blair of course). We wanted too see Billy Bragg play, but he played first, so we missed him because we were in the pub.

What I actually only remember about the gig was hearing "the revolution will not be televised" by Gil Scott-Heron. This was an amazing track, that I spent a lot of time tracking down, by buying CDs and looking in cool record shops.

Nowadays I would just do a google search, or look on Amazon for a track I wanted The guardian are streaming his new album. I was so sad to see that he had a lot of alcohol and coke problems. His early songs seemed positive to me -- even the one about living in the bottle.

Fitness

I must be at a low point for fitness. I keep meaning to do something. In the meantime I found the technique below. Not really a street technique..

winter dreams

I seem to have been going through a state of writers block. This could possibly be related to the snow that seems to have hung around all month.

Last night I had a vivid dream. We were involved in some kind of fight. I went to get some weapons out of the boot of a car. There were no more guns, so I had to make do with a large kitchen knife.

The dream changes and I am staying in a Travelodge like hotel. I was sleeping, but two of the hotel staff walked in and start making me an energy drink. I was worried by the two people walking in, but I liked the energy drink. Then I woke up.

I am not sure what it all means. I guess I shouldn't drink energy drinks in dreams if I want a good nights sleep. I am still bitter I didn't get a decent weapon. At the very least I could have got a flick knife, since they are semi-legal here.

Winter

The BBC was claiming that people in Germany were told to make sure they had 4 days supply of food, because of the new snow storm. Well fuck, no one told me! If they had I would have bourght more tins of beans from the supermarket. So far the snow has not been too thick here, so I don't think I will starve. I ran out of beer on Friday night, but that might have happened even if I had bought 4 days supply.

It is well know that the winter weather cause arguments. In my case, if I was in a relationship, I would be arguing about the heating. I usually fell a sense of failure as a man, if I have to turn the heating on. It makes me feel sluggish and slow. Of course given that it has been sub zero for most of the day, I have had to heat on for the majority of the the day. There is no heat at the moment, so I could write this post in good faith.

I join Top Gear

I know that no one is really interested in my dreams, but I have to tell someone.

Last night I dreamed that I was a presenter on the British TV series "Top Gear". I don't think I had a very good influence on the show, because the show no longer involved cars. The episode did involve robbing the safe of a German student union. There was a shot of us presenters in wet suits going into the water to sneak into Germany. Then there was a shot of me and Clarkson drilling the safe open.

Clarkson drilled a bill hole into the safe and a lot of rubbish fell out. I might some off colour joke about German workmanship, that I have been feeling guilty about all day. I guess this is the kind of thing that happens when you hang out with Clarkson. I then woke up, feeling that the episode of Top Gear was a bit crap, because there was no continuity between the wet suit scene and the blowing of the safe.

All a bit strange really. I blame the snow.

The clip below gives you some idea of the show when I am not involved.

The dark knight returns

When I was maybe 20 I worked over the summer for the National Nuclear Corporation. One day I heard one of the older permanent workers ask a woman if she liked the Batman graphic novel that he had lent her. He said "the characters are no longer just black and white".

Even then crippled by young age, I could tell that she was not interested, but was trying to be polite. I imagined, that after he had lent here a graphical novel, the next step for him was ask to go on a date (or maybe make her a compilation tape if it was a possible serious relationship). However, it looked as though he was going to get the "we are just platonic friends speech", possibly with the addition, "you know like Batman and Robin", if she was cruel.

After just reading the graphics novel "the dark knight returns" by Frank Miller, I wish I could go back in time and say to my younger self, "go and borrow the graphics novel -its great". Unfortunately, Hawkins has proved time travel impossible, or did he prove it was possible, oh well he is famous for one or the other.

At the start of the book Bruce Wayne is drinking too much. He had agreed to stop being Batman a long time ago, but the black rage and thirst for justice starts to overwhelm him. Then the Bat is back. Just like me, this book speaks to me. At the end of the book, there is a fight between Batman and superman! Me and Bruce agree that Clark Kent was too "goody too shoes" and probably a swot at school, now superman is just a "hired gun" for the US government. And there is no more "send the joker back to prison", batman finally kills him. This is why the book is more powerful than the films. Perhaps, I will lend the book to some lucky lady.

Mad science

Umm, there was a typo in the last post. Apparently Christopher Frayling is actually Sir Christopher Frayling. He seems to have got a knighthood by writing about vanmpires, and Spaghetti Westerns. So unfair. The book below looks interesting.

Mad, Bad and Dangerous?: The Scientist and the Cinema (Hardcover) horror, Product Description
Since its origin cinema has had an uneasy relationship with science and technology: scientists are almost always impossibly mad or impossibly saintly, and technology is nearly always very bad for you. In Mad, Bad and Dangerous?, Christopher Frayling explores the genealogy of the film scientist in films made in Western Europe, and especially in Hollywood after the 1930s, showing how in film the scientist has often been used to represent the prevailing phobias of the time. In the 1950s, for example, films were dominated by the fear of botched atomic research, and were a showcase of mutated, outsized creatures and radioactive zombies. Since Hitchcock?s The Birds, however, the role of the scientist has been less straightforward, and by the 1970s damage to the environment and the spread of diseases were the predominant consequences of science gone wrong. Scientists ? and the corporations that controlled them ? became the ?baddies?. The author also examines in parallel the portrayal of real-life scientists in the movies, noting how they are in the main depicted as misfits, immersed in their work, sacrificing any normal life to the interests of science, yet distrusted by the scientific establishment. Interestingly, the cinematic portrayal of fictional and real-life scientists follow very similar dramatic conventions, and Frayling concludes that the mad scientist and the saintly one are two sides of the same Hollywood coin.

Vampires

Over the holidays I read "vampyres" by Christopher Frayling. This was a "sampler" of different articles about vampires upto Bram Stoker's book. I picked this book up at the Blackwells shop on the Liverpool campus. The book is a really an academic study of vampires, but written in a way that could be enjoyed by anyone with gothic interests.

I didn't realise that Dracula book was not the first book about vampires. Also there were claims of realy vampire outbreaks. One priest even wrote a book trying to reconcile the claims of outbreaks of vampirism with the bible (what else ...)

Lord Bryon wrote an early story that was under two pages. I liked the quote from Lord Bryon better: quote> Do you know that when I look on some face I love, imagination has often figured the changes that death must one day produce in it - the worm rioting on lips now smiling, the features of health changed to the livid and ghastly tints of purification ... this is one of the pleasures of the imagination

One of my ancestors used to hang out with Bryon, before he was corrupted by the church.

God is not great

I had great plans for work today, but I spent most of the day reading "God is not great" by Christopher Hitchens. The book is a great polemic against religion. I enjoyed it more than the equivalent book by Dawkins. Hitchen's book is particularly good as a critique of the institution of religion. Before reading this book, I might (if I could be bothered) have said, although there is no God, the institutions of the church or Mosque are perhaps useful. Not any longer!

Anyway, yesterday a miracle happened to really focus my attention on the message on the book.

The return of depression economics

I have just read "The return of depression economics" by Paul Krugman. Krugman won the Nobel prize for economics in 2008. The book was about the various economic problems in Asia, and Latin America. The aim was to learn some lessons to apply to the current crisis that our bankers have unleashed. What was particularly depressing was that Japan has been in recession for a decade! I now understand the importance of exchange rates.

Now that I am an expert on reading popular books on economics, I understand the world a lot better. For example I didn't expect that my local supermarket would close at 16:00 on New Years Eve. As I walked into town through the freezing fog, I thought, no doubt all the other supermarkets will be closed too. And yes they were, even the supermarket at the Wuppertal train station, that usually stays open late, was closed.

Anyway the "off licence" near the station was still open, so I could buy beer. I paid 6 Euros for 4 cans of bier, rather than the 4 Euros I would have paid at a supermarket. Supply and demand in action!

Happy Christmas

Although the older Bob Dylan is not a patch on the younger Bob Dylan. His last few albums have been good. The first volume of his autobiography was just fanatastic. So I was disappointed to hear rumours that he wanted to collaborate with Paul McCartney. Why, oh why? I am not a great fan of the Beatles, but Paul's solo stuff is just shit and dull.

Even more weirdly I learnt that Bob was going to make a Christmas album. The one track from youtube I have seen, I really like. So perhaps, Bob is trying is hand at making good art from unpromising building blocks. Will he get pot head Sir Paul to change a habit of a lifetime and produce a reasonable song. If he does I will be impressed.

Christmas shopping

I really hate Christmas shopping. Although I mostly buy everything from Amazon, sometimes I have to actually mingle with the great unwashed masses and goto the shops. Today I went to the cityarkade in the center of Wuppertal to get that last elusive remaining gift.

The main problem is of course what to get people. I remember the brother of the unibomber in the states, felt that giving him Conrad's "the Secret Agent" started him on the path to terrorism.

I almost bought a tin of Sauerkraut, but since I am only taking hand luggage. I couldn't face explaining to the security what the tin was for. I did see what I thought was the perfect gift. I saw two thin tall glasses. Perfect, I though two traditional German tall glasses and a couple of German beers from the local Tesco should do the trick. On a second look though the glasses looked liked vases.

On the bright side I did find something nice for me. In a bookshop I found a package containing a hip flask and a knife. Why the two things were in the same box, I don't know. I will look so cool, sipping water from a hip flask, rather than using one of those nasty plastic bottles. It ill be useful to stop bullets as well, just like what happens on TV.

The future of Technics and Civilization

I reckon I only have a cubic meter of books to read in my unread book collection. Thanks to the general crappness of the German postal system, I have not been buying too many new books. I spent part of the weekend speed reading "The future of Technics and Civilization" by Lewis Mumford. I think I got this book from the Anarchist Freedom press in London.

The book is about the effect of the development of machines and automation on human society. When I was reading it I did think I should really read it more slowly to really absorb the content. However, since I was also writing perl scripts to extract data from xml files I didn't really have time. So I really misunderstood the whole point of the book, since it is partly about how automation could be used to free us from drudgery.

What the scientific spirit has actually done has to be exercise the imagination in finer ways than the autistic wish -- the wish of the infant possessed of illusions of power and dominance -- was able to express. Lewis Mumford

PS on dreams

I spoke too soon in my last post. I slept badly last night and I had many confusing dreams about work and calculations. I awoke late in a bad mood.

Even in Germany the cartoons on the TV tend to degenerate after 9:30. No spiderman or Xmen if you get up to the TV late on a Sunday morning. I noticed the same pattern in the US and the UK. Only people who get up at the crack of dawn get to see the interesting non-sickly cartoons.

action dreams and thriller

For a long time I really feared my dreams. It was not that they were scary, or that I feared Morpheus's arrogance, but somehow I felt destroyed and unrefreshed the next day. (I wasn't dreaming about work either). So I did understand a little bit why Junky Jackson used his oxygen bottles and drip to help him sleep.

Last Tuesday I dreamt I could weep bullets out of my eyes. Somehow my motorbike was hidden somewhere, but hidden like an interesting challenge to find. I talked to some people before they went into suspended animation. I awoke with the thought that I am dreaming my own action movie. Perhaps then I have made peace with my dreams, if I spend all night dreaming of action movies. Luckily, Freud is out of fashion, so I can just enjoy all the explosions in my dreams.

The Freemasons

I spent part of today reading "the freemasons" by Jaremy Harwood. My life is wondering more towards failure than success, so before I get too deep into my studies of the occult, I thought I would check out the "freemasons" as a compromise.

Perhaps surprisingly, there was a huge Mason lodge in Salt Lake city. The size of the pillars always impressed me. Now I know there was a reason for that. I was depressed when the main character in War and Peace joined the Masons.

Their belief system is fairly strange. I was more impressed by it, that I was by reading about Scientology or Mormonism. Their view of the Universe as weird enough for me to be interested.

At first I thought I couldn't join the Masons, because I don't believe in God. Later in the book, I found that certain Lodges would admit atheists. Also, I was happy to see that sodomy didn't feature as part of the initiation ceremonies. Given that some people claim that the Masons come from the Templars I wanted to be sure, nothing nasty would happen. So I was about to look for a local Lodge. I liked the idea of joining a secret society. However, when I saw that I would have to wear an apron, i decided against joining the Freemasons. It is fine line between weird and stupid.

Food

I always used to be ashamed of the English in Spain. I like a cooked breakfast like the next man, but really is a full English a good way to start a nice hot day? Although I am living in Germany, I have been trying to live my life by the phrase: "when in Rome, do as the Romans do."

However, sometimes I need proper British food for dinner. Yes I need curry. They do serve curry in the Mensa, but it doesn't have the correct kick. It has taken a while to find the correct shops to get the ingredients, but I made my first curry on Saturday.

For lunch today I ate Gebackene Bohnen, so I am back on the German food.

Tulip

Given the state of world economy, particularly after the recent jitters with Dubai, I decided I should try to learn more about the dismal science: economics. So from my unread book collection I started reading "The Tulip" by Anna Pavord.

The connection between economics and Tulips is that there was a famous speculative market in Tulip bulbs in the seventeen century in Holland. Rare tulip bulbs could cost as much the equivalent of 80,000 pounds. When the market was stopped a number of people were ruined. All through the history of the tulip there were people who spent too much money on them. The message from the book was that people were a bit stupid to invest in tulips. Much the same can be said about Dubai.

After reading the book the question I mostly want answered is what the difference between a Tulip and a daffodil? After reading the book, I am not sure that I want to start a garden, but perhaps I should know more about plants and things. I know that a flower is not the same as a tree, but that is the extent of my knowledge.

Goodbye

People are very friendly in Germany. My neighbours are always wishing me "Schon Abend". I am not sure what to say back. My German books are of no help. I have taken to going out early and coming back late, so the issue doesn't arise.

Trouble is I am not sure what I would say back to the equivalent phrase in English. In the US, if someone says "Have a nice day", I think how nice and polite people are in America. In the UK, if someone says "have a nice day", I think "how vulgar, why are they using US speak? What about a good old traditional English, now bugger off".

Rather than ask anyone I have done some web searching. I did find a research article on linguistic politeness in German-speaking Switzerland

There is even a theory of linguistic politeness, Wow I might indulge in a little "negative politeness".

die Fremden wissen nicht einmal wie man richtig grüsst' [foreigners do not even know how to greet properly.

That's me.

Blue sky

I live on the 8 floor of block of flats. I look out on a forest of trees that have lost their leaves. If I look to the left, I can see the grimy city center of Wuppertal.

This morning I looked out to see a beautiful clear blue sky. The sun was also shining. It will be a wonderful day I thought, perhaps I will go for a walk later on.

I was about to jump out of bed to go onto the balcony and smell this crisp new Winter's day, when my body decided that I should go to the toilet to throw up first. When I came back, I could see clouds taking over the sky from the left. If you don't take the moment of beauty, you lose it.

The Mass Psychology of Fascism

This afternoon I finished reading "The Mass Psychology of Fascism" by Wilhelm Reich. I can't remember why I picked this book up. I dimly remember buying it in the left wing books shop called "News from Nowhere" in Liverpool. But why I wanted it, I have no idea.

Anyway the book is a mixture of Marxism and Freud. It was written during the early 30s, when the author was trying to understand why "the masses" don't always do what is in their best interest, such as supporting Fascism. Reich points out the importance of sexual health to democracy. (Perhaps if I was getting more sex, I might start voting again. Trouble is, I will have to vote at the next UK election by proxy, because I am living in Germany)

Given that large parts of the left were supporting Stalin at the time the book was written, it is refreshing to read an independent thinker present his ideas.

Now that I look at Wikipedia, I see that Reich led a very interesting life,

CNN

In the UK I like to listen to the Today program when I get up in the morning. This usually gives a good overview of the news. As much as I love TV, I can't stand morning TV, since it is patronizing and shit.

In Wuppertal I have been watching CNN in the morning. Frankly I can' take it any more. It is not just the content, this is pretty terrible of course. Is it really a big news story that Tiger Woods crashed his car? The amount of content on CNN in the morning makes Twitter seem verbose. It is the adverts that are really destroying me mentally. All the adverts are the same day after day. No I am not going to invest in Georgia. There was a fucking war there last year. It is the piano playing that is really doing my head in. Every advert has the same chords/notes played. I feel they are trying to brain wash me.

If you are thinking "well why don't you stop watching?". Well I can't, because I am in love. One of the female weather presenters (Jill Delgado??) fascinates me. She is so happy and smart. She wears different clthes everyday, like a really classy chick. I don't stalk her or anything and my feelings about her are chaste. I don't build here into my masturbation fantasies, but if I did think about her physically, I think she would make a lot of noise in love making, and her partner would wake up exhausted with scratches on their back.

If any lawyer from CNN contacts me to complain, I do need to know where the storms are. It is a basic human right to know the delays at airports, because of tropical storms.

Marx is back baby

A spectre is haunting Wuppertal - the spectre of Communism. All the Powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.

Nowadays Marxism is almost a forgotten memory. Even as the banking crisis has started the death of capitalism, you don't see the dialectic being taken up. (Although I did see a poster with "Marx Lessen" on it at work). But I still feel the pull of Engels. Engels was born in Barmen -- one of the towns that Wuppertal is made of. And there is a house I can visit.

art

Two weekends ago I was entertaining. As part of this, we went to Cologne for a visit. The Cathedral is always impressive to see, however the huge rail station, a monument to science and technology, helps to dwarf some of its power.

We also visited the Ludwig Museum, a museum of modern art. I like the disintegration of modern art, from cubism to Warhol, but the "product" from the Turner prize crowd leaves me cold. Perhaps reality had been stripped so bare visually, that only making money by weaving the Emperors new clothes was left.

I was more excited by looking out of the windows on the top floor, than by the video pieces. I wish we had gone to the Chocolate museum as well. I was told it has a huge fountain of chocolate.

I also saw a Bier museum that looked just like a small pub. The next time I am in a Wetherspoons pub, I will say "there is the great new concept from Germany."

books

People often wonder why people buy so many books. To make myself more interesting I got a copy of "Fun with Hypnosis - the comlete how to guide". Before I have even opened this book I find from Wired that "The Official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception" has been found.

So even before I have started on hypnosis I will have to get the CIA book, just in case.

Chair destroyer

I know I have put on some weight these past few years, but I am starting to get worried. The chair I use when I am using my computer collapsed on me this morning. One minute I was browsing the web, the next I am lying on the floor. I am not sure where to buy chairs in Wuppertal. I guess that there are no Argos shops here. In my defense I think the chair was poorly made.

Visit spam and Caviar

I usually take various measures to stop myself dreaming. However, last week I slipped up and my night was poisoned by a dream. I dreamt that I had bought a desktop lamp. I awoke with a feeling of regret once I found out that the lamp didn't exist.

My imagination must be very sick indeed, if all I dream about is buying lamps. I have tried to think about something remarkable about my weekend to write about.

On Saturday morning I was reading "The mass Psychology of Fascism" by Wilhelm Reich. Suddenly the door buzzer started ringing. They have come for me I thought. What to do? Given that I had no appointments I didn't answer the door. The door lock is broken, and I didn't feel like going down 8 floors to have a misunderstood conversation in German, with someone trying to read the gas meter.

I have wanted to try Caviar for sometime. Now Caviar is very expensive and I think the original fish are dying out, so it is probably unethical to eat it. I was surprised to see a jar of Caviar in my local supermarket. Given that the jar cost 3 Euros, I don't think it was authentic. I had some on my bread for lunch. It was tasty. Hopefully nothing will grow inside from ingesting those black eggs.

Monet

I was entertaining over the weekend, so I went to the Monet exhibition in Wuppertal on Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I am no sophisticated art lover, but this exhibition seemed like a big deal, because the yellow posters advertising it are all over the city.

As we went to the gallery there seemed to be a lot of people at the door. As we got closer, it became clear that there was a queue to get in. I don't think I have ever queued to get into a gallery. The guy controlling the door mentioned something like "zwei Stunde," but it only took 1 hour to get in.

The exhibition was an impressive collection of papers from all periods of Monet's life. He was an impressionist, so the paintings didn't get too weird.

The souls of black folk

Sometimes I wander why I read the books I do. Sometimes I read for guilty pleasure, and sometimes for knowledge. However, I have now idea why I bought "The souls of black folks" by DuBois. The book was published in 1903 and discusses the problems of black Americans after slavery was abolished. There is a weird feel to the book, because it is written in a classical Princeton style, but it deals with poverty and much humiliation.

The Course of German History

As part of my introduction to Germany I thought I should read a little bit of history. The book I decided to read (based on some hints from Amazon) was "The Course of German History" by A.J.P. Taylor. The kinds of things I was interested in was Prussia??, Austria's relation to Germany, who the fu*k was Bismarck, ...

I really enjoyed the book, and I learnt lots of interesting information. It was written at the end of the second world war, with the controversial aim of trying to show that the problems that occurred in Germany between 1930 and 1945 were partly caused by the way the German state was created in the nineteenth century. Taylor did compare some political developments in Germany to those in England. Unfortunately, my knowledge of British history is based on 1066 and that Henry VIII had 8 wives, so a detailed study on voting rights in the British Parliament was really lost on me.

What's left

When I was in my teenage years I used to get very angry when the media used to report that the communist party was supported by the USSR. However after I read "Homage to Catalonia" by George Orwell, I find that virtually all communist parties were under Moscow control.

Still knowing this I still had a lot of problems finishing "What's left -- how the left lost its way". Nick Cohen is a journalist from the left who writes for the Guardian newspaper and the New statesman magazine. He had written a book called "Pretty Straight Guys" about the nasty new labour using fear for political purposes.

Cohen starts the books with the good things that the left has achieved. However, he also recounted the many problems with left in particular in relation to Stalin and the USSR. He also criticizes people like Noam Chomsky for various strange views.

To give you an idea of the main topic of book, one of the chapter titles is "The disgrace of the Anti-War Movement". What he particularly didn't like was the support for Sadim Hussian and pals, and Islamic extremism, by a vocal section of the anti-war movement on the left.

Cohen is in favour of an interventionist policy where the UK sends the troops in whenever we see bad things in the world. This seems in impracticable to me, particularly as the UK is broke at the moment. It is not fair for the troops, some of whom joined to protect the UK (or for the water-skiing). As recent history as shown it is very difficult to impose order from outside. Of course things get complicated when genocide occurs.

I am glad I read the book. It made me think about the issues more.

The diamond age

I can't tell whether the fever is leaving me. I couldn't do any work today, but I did manage to read a bit. I finished off "The diamond age" by Neal Stephenson. The book contains many different threads. There were a number of children being raised by an AI based e-reader, much better than the modern practise of sitting the child in front of the TV and watching Disney DVDs. The nature of Turing machines and the Turing test was also integral to the plot.

Also an engineer uses a human orgy to design a new enginnering technique that would allow the decentralization of production. This adds a whole new perspective to cloud computing. I want to do all my calculations via the new orgy technique.

Neal also wrote "In the Beginning...Was the Command Line" so is one of us.

Lucky Jim

When I packed up my books to move to Germany I found that I owned two copies of "Lucky Jim" by Kingsley Amis. During my recent travels I decided I should by the book, before I got another copy.

The book is about a junior lecturer's attempt to not get fired by sucking up to his boss. This all goes wrong, because he really only has contempt for his boss. One occasion is at the Prof's house for an art weekend. By Saturday he has enough of medieval singing, so he goes to the pub (very reasonable choice). He managed to burn big holes in the bed clothes and a table because he is drunk, and his attempt to hide the damage, and apologize when he is found out, are very funny.

The book is set in the last 40s, a much gentler age. Although given the choice of dealing with "knowldeg transfer" and listening to medieval instruments, I know which one I would choose.

I carry the plague

I have picked up some kind of cold/flu when I was in Vancover. I guess that it was from the plane trip back. It used to be so simple when I had a cold. I would still go into work, but I would complain to everyone constantly about how ill I was. If I had flu, where I couldn't face coming into work, I would stay at home sitting on the couch and watching videos/DVDs, until the fever past.

Now if you even sneeze in public people avoid you. People you know treat as if you are carrying the plague. Forget any possiblity of sympathy, people just think that the disease you are carrying will wipe out their family.

On a brighter note, now that I live in Germany, I do enjoy saying "Ich bin Krank. Fuck off. Krank! Ich bin Krank!"

Vancouver reloaded

This trip has been my second visit to Canada. I am starting to get the hang of Vancouver. I even found a pub close to the guest house we were staying in , although I didn't go in for beer. I managed to take the bus downtown and then get the train to the airport. Hopefully I had the correct tickets, but who can tell, when they are not checked.

I wanted to visit UBC's anthropic museum, but I didn't note the map, so I gvot lost. As I went intp the airport, I saw a huge flock of black birds circle the sky. If I had been in an American city, I would have thought satan's business was abroad, but in nice Canada, I just thought that the clouds of birds looked cool. Everyone is so friendly here.

Free wireless at the airport too.

On the road with the road

On my travels I managed to read "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. The prose was really sparse, but powerful. A father and his sone are walking on a road trying to find the coast, where they think (or hope) things will be better.

One day in my life

What is one to do with a free day in Vancouver? Given the showers, I decided to spend the day reading. The book I decided to read was "One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich" by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. One day of my life spent reading about one day in Ivan's. This is a great book, hey it won Alexander the Nobel prize.

Ivan's day was worse than mine, because he was in a prison camp courtesy of Uncle Joe Stalin. his entire day was just surving.

Dear old blighty

I spent two days last week in England. This was the first time I have been back for three months. So this post is an attempt to analyze my thoughts and feelings.

I can't help feeling that buying a small can of Stella for 5 Euros on the flight over was a bad sign for getting back into the UK. I went for a drink in Leeds around 22:00. The first pub was shutting just as I walked in the door. After walking around for a while I saw a lot of students going out "on the town" (disgraceful). I hope they are studying hard, so that the UK economy is rebuilt and I can come back and not to have to sign on the dole. The pub I did end up was full of crazy wasted people, but they still started to call last orders about 10:45. Not much of a party in Leeds.

In the morning I watched breakfast TV. Gosh, someone is leaving East-enders, and there was some piece about toys. The cooked breakfast helped wash away the brain rot from the TV.

Mind invaders

I bought "Mind Invaders" because it looked interesting and cheap. It is a strange book full of short pieces about various forms of culture warfare. One organization wanted a proletariat program of space exploration. There was one piece about a game of cards, where cards are strewn about a city. It takes chance to a new level.

The pieces were written in the 80s and 90s, so the writers may have now renounced chaos and magic. The wikipedia entry on neoism is as unreliable as anything else. The editor of the collection may be a good starting point.

dreams

I have been feeling a bit uncreative at the moment, probably caused by not reading enough fiction, and a general exhaustion.

A few years ago I was in a pub in Liverpool just off Hardman street. We met up with someone who told me he was recording his dreams for a creative writing course. I had a couple of beers, so perhaps impolitely I told him that I thought that if you wanted to be a writer you should have something to write about.

Anyway all I have is dreams at the moment. I am glad that Psychoanalysis is out of fashion. One night I had a vivid dream of being in an elevator. It stopped and as the door opened a huge black cat stared at me. The cat looked hungry, so I woke up. A little later that night I was in the same blasted elevator. This time I ended up on a floor where a person was eating someone else.

My interpretation of these dreams is based on the fact that I don't actually do anything bad, but I am just a victim. It is other people who are scheming and plotting against me. I suppose if I was in Psychoanalysis my natural and well justified paranoia would be misdiagnosed as sex mania.

How many theorists does it take to change a light?

I was going to complain about how difficult it is to change the lights in my flat, but I think the problem is me. I have never seen this type of bulb before. Youtube is of some help.I know this is a boring post, but you don't want me sitting in darkness. After reading about this on the web, I saw that if you touch the glass, the bulb could start a fire. Just, great. Perhaps I will try to work by candle light.

transparent boards

Because I work at a University, I sometimes get the chance to choose to either have a white or black board in my office. As a regular watcher of the American TV show numb3rs, I really want a transparant board, but I can't think of a good scientific reason for having a transparent board, so I will never get one.

Of course the real reason I want a transparent board is so that I could clean it. I would then ask visiting scientists to come into my office. They wouldn't see the board and walk straight into it and break their nose. I would then take a picture of them bleeding and then post it my victims blog. Perhaps then I would get some coverage in Physics World.

Empire

I have just finished reading "Empire" by Niall Ferguson. I would like to point out that I wasn't reading it because I was homesick for dear old England (or Scotland). I do see tins of Heinz baked beans in the supermarket, but I don't buy them because they are not German enough.

The book was a history of the British Empire. I was interested in this because two famous TV wamkers: Clarkson and Hislop kept making remarks by our old Empire. I personally never think about the Empire at all, because it was gone before I was born. The book is an interesting study of a small country ruled a large fraction of the earth. It was interesting to see the use of technology, such as the telegraph and steam ship to help bind India to the UK. I was also impressed by the way they adapted to local custome to secure power. When the nasty Christains tried to change India, there were mutinities and much death.

Perhaps it is politically incorrect to enjoy reading about the technique of Empire building. LOst of bad things were done, there is no doubt. In a political journey, that started from a vague anarchism, moved to a misunderstood Nihilism, flirted with Marxism, and then back to the cynical arms of Nihilism. I can feel myself moving to the right. There must be some new movement, I can get involved in. I like the idea of futerism, but Technocracy may be a better match if I could be bothered.

Wuppertal

High above Wupperal schemes are plotted.........

Solitary fitness

I have just finished reading Solitary fitness by Charles Bronson. Bronson is a strong man, but he is in prison. He was orginally sentenced for a couple of years, but by his bad behaviour he managed to extend his stay to 28 years.

Please note that I didn't include the phrase stupidly in the first paragraph, because that would make him mad at me. There are standard excercises such as press ups, but there is a lot of hard core yoga stuff in there as well that I have never seen before. I was surprised to see a chapter on penis enlargement. I felt a bit weird reading about that, but what harm could it do.

Od course some pruddish people would say that I shouldn't be supporting a violent prisoner. I would say that if anyone does sayb that to me, I just make one phone call to my gangland connections and they will get their kneecaps broken.

Orange juice

Now I am not the kind of person to complain, but I miss not being able to buy concentrated orange huice at supermarkets in Germany. This is where I add water and get a refreshing orange drink.

I know there is no point in complaining. All my German friends will just say that the English orange juice was just sugar and chemicals. "Aren't you happy to be drinking water and real orange juice from cartons instead?" Yes, well, perhaps, but..

The next time I am in Englan I will buy a big box of tea with a proper number of tea bags in it, such as 400. I will take it to bed and cuddle it.

A fighting man of mars

Although I am completely destroyed by my move. I am slowly getting back into reading again. I read "a fighting man of mars," by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The book was pure pulp fiction, but I enjoyed it. I was amused to see that main character was called Tan Hadron.

I picked the book up in a charity shop for 35 pence, so you can imagine my shock when I discovered that I could have read it for free. from the project Gutenberg.

Cable TV in Germany

Even though I don't understand any of the words on cable TV in Wuppertal, it is giving me hours and hours of fun. I was totally freaked out to watch a Steven Segal movie in German. The dubbed voice was totally different to real voice. It not only totally changed the nature of the film, but also the nature of reality. I really worry about Germans whio come to live in the UK or US and they hear his real cocky voice.

Dein Hund sprechen kein Englisch

Although I am currently using this blog to make some remarks about living in Germany, I have this nightmare that soneone will come up to me and say "I have read what you said about Germany and I am going to refute every point." This will then degenerate into a shouting match as to whether a nation that sells 100 teabags for over 5 Euros should be a allowed a seat on the security council. I am having a good time in Germany, so I am not meaning to be so critical.

The only way to reach my flat is to walk through a forest. The pavement stops for the route that cars take. With German efficieny the path to my flat is well lit through the forest. Having to walk through a forest to get home does seem to be the German thing to do. However, the forest is used by many people to walk their dogs. I am constantly getting barked at by dogs. I do what I normally do, which is to say "good doggie", but that doesn't help.

This proves to me the lack of enthusiam in Germany for the European idea, because people can't be bothered to teach their dogs to understand a few basic commands in English.

This is not a science blog, but ...

This blog is more for tales of alien abduction and oral pleasure, but I couldn't resist posting the following paper.

How to write consistently boring scientific literature

I am trying to stop being surrounded by big piles of paper, so I have been trying to use CiteUlike to organize my references. The piles of paper still seem to be rising though.

Wuppertal compound

Above are some pictures of my top secret compound in Wuppertal. I have got a great view. I am on the 8th floor. Trouble is I am getting obssesed with the forest. The spirits in the ancient woods seem to call out to me. I want to strip of naked to dance to the swirling leaves. To get payed I had to state that I would observe German law (whatever that is). I am not sure whether dancing naked on a secluded balcony is against German law.

CDs are back

I am happy to say, there was a second shipment from the removal company from Glasgow. I now have all my CDs! The picture shows a moving box full of my CDs (with no cases). I started buying CDs when I left Edinburgh, so it could be all I end up with to show for my life since then.

I hate steps

Don't get me wrong I like living in Wuppertal. I had been here before for a pleasent workshop, so I knew I could live here. What I hadn't realized was when people describedWuppertal as the San Francisco of Germany. I had a nice holiday in San Francisco maybe 10 years ago. I stayed in a cheap hostel above a strip joint. I drank some beer, read lots of books, and ate lots of Chinese food.

However, when people (as in the tourist office) describe Wuppertal as the San Fransico of Germany what thay mean is that it is hilly. I seem to spend all my time either walking up a hill or coming down a hill. Given how superunfit I am these days this is a pain. You might think I would be happy walking down a hill, but no I just think "I have to walk up on the way back." Why isn't it flat I whine.

Now that I think about I mostly stayed at the bottom of the valley when I was first visited here, for the very good reason: that was where all the bars were.

Anyway I can't complain if I decided to live at the top of a hill for the view. I am getting fitter from all the hill walking. Perhaps at the end of this I will feel that I could live in the South of England,where it at least flat. Or maybe not.

Nowhere

After all the stress of moving and then settling in, my brain has been dead. Howvere, I am slowly starting to read again. After moving a huge number of unread books to Germany, I thought I should start reading those before I started on getting anymore. We shall see how long that lasts.

I read "Nowhere" by Thomas Berger. This books was witty and a lot of fun. A private eye/playwright goes to a foreign country as a spy maybe. Very low down in Amazon's list for nowhere.

One down another 4 boxes of books to go, until I am upto date.

Tea in Deutschland

To celibrate getting online (although with a slow internet dongle) let me make a few observatins about living in Germany. Although there is a big shelf of boxes of tea in the supermarket, there is one crucial difference to what I would expect in a British supermarket. The standard box of tea in Germany contains 25 tea bags. The English translation of 25 tea bags is two days supply. In Glasgow I would normally buy 300 teas bags in a huge box. If I go to the supermarket at the centre of Wuppertal I can get a box of 100 tea bags. It is not as though I am an addict or anything, but I do need reasonable supplies of tea. I feel like a total freak clutching the only box of tea that has 100 tea bags in at at te register. Also at 6 Euros for 100 tea bags, it is not cheap. Perhaps ironically, my favourite brand of German tea is Teefix.

Radler

I don't want to complain, but it is starting to happen again. The last time I lived in Germany, I wouldbe having a quick drink. I would open a can of beer and it would nasty and wrong. I would look at the can and see the dreaded words "alcohol frei", and I would have to run to bathroom to wash my mouth out. They mix the beer and alchol free beer on the shelves. I thought I was being careful, because I put back a bottle of Alt beer, because I couldn't see the % content

On Thursday night, I opened a brew, and tasted a sugary substance. Apparently, I had bought two cans of Radler. You can see from the picture that the cans are almost identical. Do I really need to read every piece of text on a beer can before I down it?

Zoo

I have been feeling really burnt out after my move. I am really exhausted. Anyway I decided to take the day off to go and visit Wuppertal zoo. This involved a fun little trip on the Schwebebahn.

I had once tried to go to Wuppertal Zoo, before when I was a meeting here maybe 6 years ago. There was a conference lunch and then afterwards we were supposed to have a free afternoon. The lunch took about 3 hours, because it took them ages to bring the food. On the plus side they did keep bringing lots of little beers.

Today I did manage to look around the zoo. It was a fantastic day, with a blue sky and a dry sun. I am not sure I am too happy looking at caged animals. The lepoards look particularly unhappy. It was clear that if they could get out they would go on a big killing spree. Some of the cages looked small.

Today I did manage to look around the zoo. It was a fantastic day, with a blue sky and a dry sun. I am not sure I am too happy looking at caged animals. The leopards look particularly unhappy. It was clear that if they could get out they would go on a big killing spree. Some of the cages looked small. The vultures looked as though they were just waiting, and then they would pick over the bones.

Above is a picture of me baiting a bear. I am giving it the finger. Pretty brave. You may need to zoom in on the picture to see the brown bear.

CD castration, free download and no self harm

As part of my move to Germany I was forced to look through the things I own. I started buying CDs when I was 24, and I guess on average I bought 2 CDs a week since then. When you stop to think about it, and particularly if you think about the cost of it all, its a bit depressing.

To cut down on the weight and volume of the CDs, I tried to digitize many of them. Also I removed the cases of the rest.

When I looked at the CDs I had bought in the US ten years ago, I noticed I was buying a lot more hard core punk ten years ago. I was surfing the tail end of the early to mid 80s scene that I only knew the tip of with the Dead Kennedys.

As you get older you start to worry about your legacy in this world. I had this horrible vision of my mum giving away my CD collection. Some chick with red hair and wearing leather (my favorite color scheme) is looking through my CDs. She gets excited by what she sees. This guy must have been really cool she thinks, I wish I could have known him, and perhaps dated him. Suddenly she opens a box, and sees an Oasis CD. Yes my friends it is true, I did own an Oasis CD. In my defense I missed out on the original popularity of Oasis, because I was living in the US, when they became big in the UK, so I wanted to know what was up.

Anyway I destroyed the Oasis CD. There are standards don't you know.

Anyway, this post has been made pointless, by the people who moved my stuff to Germany losing all my Cds. How could they do this me? I have been musically castrated. Well, that's me, I am only downloading music for free now!

Germany

And so I have moved to Germany. Thoughts, impressions. I seem to have been throwing stuff out of my flat for weeks, but I still didn't get it empty before I left. I had about 2 hours sleep before I handed the keys back. I had too pack an additional bag, because I had misjudged the amount of stuff I had.

I could barely walk with the four bags, (one of which was fairly small). Everything was OK at the airports when there was a trolley, but I ran into problems at the German railway stations. There are fairly steep steps to get onto the platform, and I am not very good at getting up stairs, without a lot of bags.

Anyway, as I was burst into tears, and sweat myself to death, I was helped by two women. (Thanks). This was of course a bit humiliating, particularly as one of the women was probably about half my size. When I got to the apartment I found there was a gym at the bottom of the building. I was going to pledge, that I would pump iron, until I could bench press all my possessions. However, I see that the gym is for ladies only. I see, I see, I am not a lazy broken weakling, I just have not had the opportunities....

Hair

As part of the general clear out I found some old students IDs. These are perhaps the last remaining evidence for what I looked like with long hair.

Swine flu

This swine flu is driving me crazy. I used to take pride in not washing my hands when I went for a piss. But now the UK government is telling me I might die if I don't wash my hands. Normally, I would relieve my self and give a dirty finger to the powers that be, however I have had a life changing experience, so I am now washing my hands all the time, not because I am worried about swine flu, but because I have been fucked in the brain.

Around the time of Burns night we were in the "three judges" pub in Glasgow. In the toilet there was some tape loop "telling us to wash our hands", that I decided to ignore. Two days later I was drinking a beer while I was on the Internet. Suddenly I found that I needed to throw up and go for a very wet shit. This set the tone for the weekend: puke, shit and watch TV. I couldn't face solid food at all on Saturday. What was worse that my body felt repulsed by beer. I have had periods when I have been ill with some plague before.. I just watch TV and sweat it out. This time seemed different, why did I now hate my good friend beer so much. I thought I had food poisoning from eating a burger from a van.

Sunday started the same as Saturday. I didn't know what was happening. On Saturday I thought the problem was food poisoning. I struggled out to the local shop to get ice cream, soup, and yogurt. It must gave been after my tenth shit of the day. I was sitting on the toilet, thinking "so this is what it means to have shit for brains", when it struck me that I had been genetically modified. Why else would I hate beer? I did have some clues though. I did watch a number of programs about Darwin. It seemed to fit, because the Scottish goverment was always trying to stop people drinking.

Anyway if you are thinking that this post has a lot of cuss words, I would humbly like to point out that the newspapers are claiming that swine flu is going to wipe out a large segment of the population, so you want to prioritize your indignation you stupid c**t.

On reflection I think my weekend of vomiting was due to some "winter vomiting illness." Say what you will, but at least these new CIA designed diseases, burn out in a couple of days.

Mixing into the perfect

I have been reading the official Harvard student agencies bar tending course. I am trying to up the image don't you know. No more pints of Tenants, but classy cocktails. After a good deal of experimenting I have decided that a good Martini does need some actual vermouth rather than letting the sun shine through the vermouth bottle into the gin.

The book contains many suggestions for cocktails. There is one for a mixture of stout and champagne. The book suggests that you if pour the drinks in VERY slowly you will get a glass with the liquid separated. You can see the results so far. I have never really liked champagne. Sometimes it gets served as part of the pre-dinner drinks part of a conference. I like the challenge of creating this super-cocktail of guiness and champagne. In my minds eye I see myself surrounded by cheering people as I finally create, what the Harvard book describes as a "black velvet". I will give a little bow and say "I have recreated a drink that beats the second law of thermodynamics. My next project is to create a drink that cheats death."

What is more likely to happen is that when I take a glass of champagne from a waiter and pull out a can of stout from my jacket, people will start whispering about "losing it". People will start edging away from me as I hold up a glass of murky black stuff, and start ranting about death and thermodynamics.

Still you can't live you life worrying about what other people think.

Belgium

Happy birthday Belgium! When I was passing Hillhead underground station, I was given a flyer that told me I could celebrate 179 years of freedom for Belgium, if I spent the evening at Brel's bar in Ashton lane. If I had been at work today i would have been there, stuffing my face with mussels, and drinking expensive Belgium beer. There was a Jaques Brel tribute band too!

Instead I am at home drinking Hoegaarden and Duvel beer. I did also eat a Belgium chocolate pudding of some kind. Time for some Brel I think. I doubt that I could love anyone who didn't like this song.

The power of ideas

After I finish some books I can't help feeling I should get some kind of certificate of merit. One such book would be "The power of ideas" by Isaiah Berlin that I borrowed from Hillhead library. The book was a collection of Berlin's short essays.

He was a famous philosopher at Oxford University. He dealt more with liberty and history rather than the more abstract ideas I thought that philosophers of the twentieth century specialized in. You could tell from the essays that he was a good speaker (but not someone you would talk about last nights TV with).

goodbye CD hello disk drive

I have spent some part of the weekend converting my CDs into an electronic format. I am doing this mostly because I am going to move soon, so I can't be bothered to move more boxes of CDs and DVDs.

The good news is that I will probably play more of the music I actually own. Some of my older Cds were hidden in boxes. I usually just play the new stuff. I was surprised and a bit ashamed to see that I owned, a CD by Alanis Morissette and the Kaiser Chiefs. Do not get me wrong, I don't have anything against the Kaiser chiefs, but they are a bit too main stream indie for my taste. Still I seem to have bourght one of their Cds.

Germany / Japan

I am getting stressed about organising my up coming move to Germany.

On qtype I find You just missed Japanische Live Musik und 3rd Tokyo Rock Night in Wuppertal
Hopefully I will make it next year.

The revenge of Gaia

While I was on my travels to the US I caught up with some reading. One book I manged to finish was The revenge of Gaia by James Lovelock.While I was on my travels to the US I caught up with some reading. One book I manged to finish was The revenge of Gaia by James Lovelock.

Gaia is the idea that the planet is adapts to make life possible in some way I didn't understand. Anyway my natural gut feeling would be to slag it off as hippy shit, but my impression from the book is that there is a lot of published work in Science/Nature. In fact Lovelock sounds like one those scientists who reminds people of their achievements at every opportunity.

Although he is a hero of the environmental movement, he was very keen on nuclear power, and less happy with wind farms.

The God Particle

I have just finished reading "The God Particle" by Leon Lederman. First off I really enjoyed reading the book. He was one the great heros who helped build the experimental case for standard model of particle physics. The book is written in the Feynman style of popular science, that has long since been given way to bullshit PR books on stringy and insane theory.

Lederman guy was arrogant, but that is part of being a physicist. the book was clearly written just before the SSC got cancelled. If that had not happened we may already know about the Higgs boson.

I have one minor criticism of the book. WHY THE FUCK DID HE CALL IT THE GOD PARTICLE?

Leon named the book "The God Particle", because his publishers would not let him call it "The God damm particle", because is so elusive. But still calling the Higgs boson was clearly the worst decision of his career. In the book he complained about books such as the "Tao of Physics", as being misleading. This is true. I wouldn't mind but it is not clear that finding the Higgs boson would help with understanding the pattern of quark mass. The God particle is just such an emotive term.

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The worse thing is that Leon could apply for money from Templeton foundation. I really need some of that Templeton foundation money. I can't enjoy my late night Martini knowing that I have had to pay for the ingredients myself.

Big football match

I got a taxi home on Friday night after some post shopping beers. The driver tried to make conversation by saying "that it was a big football weekend". "Yes", I said, " if Burnley win on Monday they will be in the Premiership". The taxi driver, then muttered something like "I don' think that anyone in Scotland cares about that". True of course, so what was I thinking by making that reply

Given that I heard the honking of horns today. That normally means either that war has been declared or a local football team has won.

My Mum was born and raised in Burnley. My cousins live there. It would be a very big deal if Burnely get into the Premiership. I am happy that the whole town gets a day out at Wembley. Good luck!

Transmetropolitan

I have been slacking of this weekend. I have so much to do, but I didn't feel like doing much. One trouble with a hobby, such as reading, is that it doesn't really relax me. I would try reading outside more, but I am living in an area where they like to throw rocks.

I have been reading another issue of the Transmetropolitan comic. This comic series is about the exploits of "Spider Jerusalem" a journalist, who is loosely based on Hunter S. Thompson. Anyway there is a lot of booze, drugs, violence and politics.

Patrick Stewart wrote the introduction, so it is hard core literature. Spider's great enemy is known as "the smiler". I hate people who smile as well.

Accelerando

I have finally manged to finish reading Accelerando by Charles Stross. What was the story about? Well frankly, I am not sure. The plot used a lot of complicated ideas from virtual life. There was an alien router that allowed people to download to an alien civilisation.

I had to renew the book about 4 time because it took me so such a long time to read. Now that I look atthe web I see that the book has been released as a free e-book. Interesting extra textual stuff.