The hidden blade

I went out to see the fil caled "the hidden blade" at the FACT cetre last night. This was set in Japan, just after the country opened up to the west. This was in the middle of the nineteen century if I remember correctly. The Samuri were having a hard time learning European warfare techniques. The scenes where they were learning to march were funny. Towards the end the Samuari were getting it. There was a rebellion soon after this peroid where many Samuri were beated by fott soldiers with guns. Anyway the story was partly a love story. The film was very beautiful with scenes of snow covered mountains. Of course I am not going to review any of this lovey-dovey crap, because there was a small amount of fighting as well. There was one duel where one person won using a "cowards technique". This involved almost turning your back on the opponent. A guards arm was broken using an efficient aiki technique. The hidden blade was a sword technique that was never really explained. I assumed that it was the was the hero killed the head retainer at the end, but I am not very sure. His sensi claimed it was not a real fighting technique, but it looked useful for assanation. This is more Ninja though. Watching the film made me feel good all day, perhaps more because I liked the maids smile and laughter, rather than the modest amount of fighting.

radio

I can't help feeling that I am controlled by Amazon.com. Many of of the books I bqquy are on the Amazon or Waterston best seller list. I just got a digital radio -- mostly to hear the lying new labour ministers get grilled on the today program. Anyway radio 6 had an interview with the lead singer of a band called the nightengales. When I was growing y up I remember a show by John Peel, where he read out a letter znd agreed that the nightengales were one of the best bands around. Anyway the nightengales around still around. There is hope for us all.

Newcastle

I spent an afternoon in Newcastle on Wednesday. I have wanted to visit there for some time-- particularly after I saw the film "get carter". I was sort o expecting a lot of pubs with people wearing cloth caps and talking abouy wippets. Perhaps, my domino skills would finally be challenged. The centre of Newcasle seems to be one endless row of sports bars pubs. It became clear that my quest for a pint of draught Newcastle brown was just an empty urban myth. I did try to write some stuff at the terminals of the Virgin magastore, but I found that banned and objectionable content included the home page of the guardian and indpendent papers. What pained me the most was that I hadn't realised there was a castle in newcastle. When I did read about it in the guide book-- it did seem sort of obvious in a kind of humiltaing way. I expect I spent that too much time thinking of Newcastle brown and dog racing. When I was at school I did a project on castles. I have always felt bitter that I only got a B in that course, but perhaps the historians had a point, if you don't see that there is a castle in Newcastle then perhaps you don't deserve aan A grdae, no matter how mch you know anout 1066 abd burning cakes.

Manga

I felt that the TV over the festive season sucked. There was nothing that I really wanted to watch. However, there is a school of thought that thinks that this holiday peroid is for family and children, so perhaps screeing not stop action films may not be appropriate. I obviously have my own stash of DVD to keep me amused. I watched Battle Royal last night. A class of children is taken to an island, where they must fight to the death to survive. The teacher was played by Takeshi Kitano with a kind of lazy depressed insanity that was awesome. I also watched a cartoon version of Ichi the killer. This is a more troubling film, because the violence is really insane and I wondered what kind of person would enjoy such a film. Finally, I also watched Ghost in the shell. This is beutiful piece animation set in the future. There was a lot of computer stuff to keep me amused. It ended too soon for me. I have ssen the sequel, but that didn't help me much. Mange rules!

earwax

My ears are blocked up at the moment. I can hardly hear. I keeping pouring dewaxer down my ear and rubbing vigoursly. It is not so bad, I am kind of arrogant so I am not always intesrted in other peoples conversations, so not being to hear is not so bad. It makes me feel decoupled from the world. Anyway in a couple of days, I will be able to hear again. It is just a matter of waiting and feeling sorry for myself. What hurts the most is that Raymond Carver wrote an entire story about not being able to hear because his ears were bunged up with wax. The hero just lay on his bed and drank champagne, complained that he was getting divorced. He drank champagne to show that he wasn't an alcolhlic. After he open the second bottle, I had my doubts. That is why I am a loser. I just sit and complain about my losso of hearing rather than write a 4 page short story about it.

Hancock

One of my cousins gave me a collection of beers from around the world. There were 5 beers from: India, Italy, Spain and Belguim. Tasty. Trouble is I drank most of them while watching a program about Hancock with my mum. I really like Hancock's timing. He doesn't rush things. Howver in the end of Hancock's life the drinking took over and he stopped being funny. There is a famous performance at the Albert Hall where he does his old musical hall set rather than any new stuff. This was becasue he hadn't reheased his new material. It did look as though Hancock had gone as far as he could go. Perhaps with out the drinking he could have moved to a different level. Anyway it is always sort of depressing to see someone disapear into alcholism. Not even the beer I was drinking can mask that sadness.

chess and the criminal mind

Another thing I noticed in spam kings was that one of the worst spammers liked his chess. I have long thought that playing chess is good traing for the criminal mind. It is a game of stratergy, but very abstract. Wasn't Moraity some kind of chess player? True you are unlikely to get mugged by a chess player, but it is likely that the person who the orders (via a muffled) phone call is sitting down in front of a board of 64 squares. Bishop takes knight, umm, I think get one of the lads to give Craig a kicking. At least when you kill someone in a playstation game, you know there will be consequnces. Someone may come around the corner with a gun and blast you. Or some little kid will come out and cry. Not so with chess. The bishop is cooly taken off the board and then the stratergy begins. I can the man with his finger on the big red buttom of numclear war, sitting there, thinking of the wisdom of his first chess teacher.

penis spam

I have just finished reading a book called "Spam KIngs" by Brian Mcwilliams. The book is about the people who send spam and the efforts of another bunch of people who try to stop it. This was a jolly good read, but what amazes me is that people actually do buy penis enlargment pills. Now I would like to claim that I don't buy the penis enlargment pills advertised in all those spam emails, because I am well hung, but the real reason is that I would never enter my credir card details in any random site. People did make a good living out of sending spam. so people were quite happy to get their pills that way. Because people want penis enlargement pills then there will be some nerd with a bulk emailer ready to sell them. So we need to stiffle demand. I think it is obvious what to do. Amazon needs to sell penis enlargment pills (and a bit of porn too), then no one will need to buy from dodgy spammers.

presents

I have to admit I am not a good person to give presents to. I am not very good at saying the right things, even when I get something I like. My sister gave me a leather wrist band with some metal stuff on it. Normally, I don't wear jewlry because I don't view it as functional. What I said to my sister was thar "this is great because, I was thinking of getting one of those wrist tatoos and this looks just as good." OK, perhap I simple "thanks this looks good" would have been better. Actually what I was thinking was that "this will be really useful to protect my arm in a knife fight". As I get older I find that it is best not to always speak your mind.

Richard Pryor

I was so sad to hear of Richard Pryor's death a couple of weeks ago. When I was growing up (in the 80s) I watched a number of early Pryor films on TV. He\was the man. Channel 4 showed one of his stand up sets. I was not impressed -- not like the films at all. In the Guardian, one comedian noted that that he had seen this Pryor set on channel 4, and it had made him want to be a stand up comedian. If I could travel back in time, I would go back and ask my useful younger self to watch the entire concert on TV and not go to bed like some wimp ased BoB Hope fan. At least with the magic of DVDs I can repair this terrible sin. Pryor's set was astounding. I can see that he influenced Bill Hicks a lot. There is an intensity about his set that I like that is mixed with a warm sense of char. Yes you can charm an audience, even when you are telling a story about setting yourself one fire while doing cocaine. If I had only watched that program on TV in the 80s. Who konws I might have my own game show on TV.

time

There is never enough time to do want I to do. I was walking home two nights ago after staying late at wrok. A women on the street asked me for the correct time. When I got home I realised that the dark wet night and my feeble overworked brain had forced me to tell her the wrong time. I suddenly thought that perhaps she will miss an appointment to see her sick child, because I told he the wrong time. Last night the same women asked for the time again. This time I am pretty sure I told her the right time. This makes me suspect that "asking the time" is the new "are you looking for business". Or perhaps, her mind has been unhinged by missing the dying moments of her child because a stranger on the street can not read his watch correctly. Perhaps, this is a subtle marketing ploy by the BBC to promote the new Dr WHO series. People could be payed to mess with people in the streets sense of time. This would remind them of "time lord" and hence boost the viewing figures. All a bit sneaky really. This is the kind of trick I would expact of SKY.

films

I am looking forward to seeing some quality films this week. I was ready to go and see transporter II last week, but I had to stay late at work. The first film (transporter) was pretty dumb, but enjoyable. I was amused to see that transporter II had done well at the US box office. This was a big deal, because of the flops of such films as "the terminal". The other filem I want to see is "doom". Look I like these kind of films. Sorry that is just the way I am.

birds

Two weeks ago, I went for a steak slice from one of quality food sellers we have in Liverpool called sayers. I took the pastry outside the department store TJ hughs and sat on a lonely loser bench. All these pigeons suddenly flew in. They agressively started going after the crumbs from steakslice. I am a pacifist, and grankly women tend to freak out when you kick a pigeon in the head. So I decided to be a man and beat a hasty retreat. They followed me for a while, but I have long legs. Perhaps, this is the effect of genetically enginered food. Super pigeons who are going to eat me. I have seen the film "the birds" by Hitchcock. THis freaked me out when I first saw it. The film has birds attacking a couple. But at the end of the film. It just sort of ends. This freeaked me out. I had videoed it. So the first time I saw it, I assume I had blacked out. But in the sober light of morning, it had the same ending. I can't even enjoy a steak slice without getticg hassled by killer pigeons.

california food

I have eaten some very good food during this trip to California. I particularly enjoyed the Sushi we ate today. I had a rainbow roll and a beef and asbargus wrap. Asbaragus is a speciallity of Stockton. Yummy. Last night I deviated from tandori chicken to try tandori fish at a local indian restaurant. Anyway there are a lot of balloons around Stockton. Everywhere we went, there was at least one balloon. It must have been the ballon seller shedding his wares.

California

I sit in the Radison hotel in Stockton California. I am attending an interview at the University of Pacific. I just went out this morning for a little stroll. There is a little canel close to here that is a bit like Venice. THis is very California. There are a couple of nice coffee shops around the hotel. They open late (12:00 am) and have free wireless. I had a quick stoll to some local Malls. Things seem more interesting than Utah because there is a lote more ethnic shops. I can't say I am so keen on the Mall culture, but I found a place to train in Taekwondo and an indian market. There are too many balloons aroud here for my taste. There was a sad big red ballon tethered outside a half empty shoppig mall close to the hotel. A bit further on, I saw a Mexican woman forlornly standing outside a big piza restaurant holding a cluster of balloons. I am reading Maul by Tricia Sullivan. This is some subtle pun on Mall. The book has some strange gun battle between some young girls in a dseigner shopping Mall

Half Man Half Biscuit

I went to see the band "half man half biscuit" play at the Carling academy on the 13th. This band appeared in the mid 80s. They play sharp funny songs backed by a roaring guitar sound. I don't remember seeing them advertised to play before in the last 6 years, I have been in Liverpool. The place was packed. This was the big venue as well. I only drank one beer, because I didn't feel the long journey to the bar. People started singing-a-long at the first number. The band have put out a huge number of records. People even cheered when they did a recent song about buying a packet of pringles at a late night garage. Apart from the clever songe, I liked the guitar sound.

serenity

I went to see Serenity last week. This film has been featured on slashdot for some time. The guy behinf Buffy the vampire slayer was the director. From some early posts, it was described as a melting pot of the wild west and science fiction. I was not encouraged by this. However the film was just fine. There was good action and character development. It doesn't seem to have lasted long in the UK. Perhaps we still miss Blake's Seven. It was not a film, where you come out knowing more about yourself, but I didn't feel the need to torch the director's house, as I sometimes do with some films. I hear rumours that George Clooney is making a film of "a scanner darkly". The book is by Philip H. Dick and is probably one of the best books about drugs. Anyway it will be bad if he screws this up. The connection to serenity is science fiction.

I don't want to be a vampire

I watched a good animation DVD called "blood the last vampire" last night. The animation was very scary. I was a bit confused what the plot was about, as it ended with dead vampires and bombers taking off to liberate Vietnam. This is the thir vampire film I have watched this week. I am not obsessed or anything like that. There are sad types who pretend to be vampires. Or people who hope to be turned for the importtality and beauty. Not men, my thoughts of eternal life tend to move to silicon. The one vampire film I have not watched has Nicholas Cage in it. He thinks he is turning into a vampire, but isn't sure. This is more mental illnes than the occult. In the film he eats a live cockroach for some reason.

DVD

I used to watch way too many cheap martial arts and actions DVD and videos. But now I am much more sophisticated, as I regularly browse the world cinema section of HMV. I now do like a bit of sophisticated asian cinema. I watched the film "versus" this week. This was a classy criminals versus vampires and wirdo type movie fro Japan. I was in HMC today, and some woman was asking about some horror film with "ichi" in the title. I helpfully said that must be "Ichi the killer". The she wanted to know the director. On my list of things to do is to read my book on Japanese films. The film "Ichi the killer" is perhaps the bloodest insane filem I have ever seen. It looked like somone getting a present for their som. Very much like when I sent my into Manchester one to buy a dead kennedys record, only to find that it had be banned. Anyway it just seems very wrong to have a girlfriend who want to watch Ichi the killer with you. When it is time for holidays, it would be let's go to the Moors around Manchester, and bring a spade. Too much commitment for me. I hear the call of Manga......

History of violence

I have been walking into work, because I have started hating getting the bus. This evening, I had to listen to a buch of kids talk about some fight one of them had gotten into. It all seemed a bit confusing, but involved cousins, pit bull dogs and busies (Liverpool slang for police). On Thursday night I went see the film "history of violence". What a great film! I just liked the way the guys face changed. At one point his face was the family man, honest and maybe tough. The next he was this killer. I liked the crazy killer face the best. As a famous London gangster once said, "treat kindness with kindness, and violence with extreme violence."