I'm back!

Umm, I don't seem to have posted anything for a while on my BLOG. Last week I went to the lattice 2007 conference in Regensburg. Somehow this always involves a huge amount of effort and stress. The day before my talk, I am usually too nervous to say anything. I am hoping to go the Green Man festival in two weeks time. There is a really good set of people playing. However, there is a postal strike on, so I am not sure I am going to get my tickets.

Indian summer II

One thing I really regretted was not seeing Michael Gira play at the Indian summer festival. He used to play in a bad called "the Swans". I don't focus on the detail, like remembering people's names in bands. I thought the tent he was in was only for dance music. I don't have anything against dance music I might add, I just didn't bother to walk the 30 yards to the next tent. I did see the swans play in Edinburgh in maybe 1992 or 1991. The swans sort of had two sounds. They were first very loud. Then they got very low, slow and gloomy. You can guess what stage of their musical evolution I was more interested in. The only reason I know that he played was because I read a review in the Scotsman.The festival was closed by the flaming lips. I am sure I saw them play in Liverpool. I think I saw them play in Lexington Kentucky. I enjoyed seeing them play before, but now they are stunning live. The flaming lips set was just amazing. Wayne Coyne went into the crowd in a plastic bubble. There were huge balloons set lose into the audience. Confetti was fired into the audience. The whole set was a positive vibe.

Indian summer I

The Indian Summer festival just started last year. The maximum capacity of the festival is 6000, so it is small. There were three music areas. One big stage, and two tents. The festival area is in enclosed in trees. It only rained for a short while. I had not heard of many of the bands, but I liked the idea of hearing some new sounds. I didn't see a band that I thought sucked. All the guitar sounds were crisp and clean. After last year, I took the running order with me so I had a better idea of who was playing this year. I particularly wanted to see Daniel Johnston play. He was playing the headliner in the radio 6 tent. Before I knew of his history, I used to search out his records. His voice was so full of pain. Now that I have seen the documentary about him, I know that he stopped taking his medication to get those performances. When he was close to getting a record deal, he was in an insane asylum. This was a long time ago, so he was old. Anyway the tent was half full when Daniel played, but the people there were very committed. I have to admit the highlight of his set was "speeding motorcycles". They played a set from Daniel Johnston on the George Lamb radio show. He hadn't heard of Daniel and had been in LA to cover the Beckhams. He didn't get it. As another radio 6 presenter said, Johnston is an an acquired taste.

Indian summer

I went to the Indian summer festival in Glasgow last week. I had a great time. This is a small festival in Victoria Park in Glasgow.

We are the physics

I went out to see "we are the physics" play at the Glasgow Barfly last Friday. When I saw the band name on the barfly listing, I thought that gig looks a bit nerdy for my cool self. This was of course hypocrisy of a high order since I work in a Physics department. I did listen to a live set they did for Marc Riley on his radio 6 show. It sounded as though furniture was being rearranged when they played and young Marc was blown away. So I had to go and see them play. The first minute of their set was not so promising, but after that the set was awesome. The music is fast and there is fast hand clapping. They complained that they had played to 10 people in the Liverpool barfly the night before. None of the people at Liverpool wanted to dance. Well if I had still been living in Liverpool there would have been 11 people who didn't want to dance. They have a song called "action", which I wanted to chant "Lagrangian", but didn't. "We are the physics" deserve to be big, but life is cruel. I didn't stay for the clubbing night, so I got home before 12:00, so the next day wasn't lost.

the Elvis suicide

A week last Friday I went out to see "the Elvis suicide" play at the Glasgow barfly. I had the choice I could have seen "hell is for heroes", but the magic of myspace, helped me chose the local Glasgow band. I enjoyed their set. The first band on, I thought were called "capacitors", but looking at the ticket, they may have been named "Kino Box". The sound was Eastern European and it reminded me of "Beirut". Somehow the Elvis suicide were not the last band to play. (If you want proper gig reviews I suggest you buy the NME). On Friday the bands stop playing at 11:00, so they can have a clubbing night. As I got out of the venue at 2:30, I decided that it is probably not a good idea for me to stay for the club night. I did try and chat someone up, but the person told me that they were born in Florence which frankly was more information than I needed to know at 1:00 in the morning with a brain addled by Carling. There is a reason that the Glasgow underground stops at 11:20.

events in Glasgow

Given the disturbing events happening in Glasgow, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am safe and I have managed it through the day. On Saturday I heard the very sad news that the fopp chain of CD shops has closed. One of the fopp shops on Byers Rd was the main place I bought CDs from. What am I going to do now on a Saturday afternoon? I still like CDs. Ok, I can just go around the corner to the shop called "Lost in Sound" This is actually a much more independent record shop than fopp. I could also go and get CDs from the avalanche shop near Queens railway station. There is also Amazon and Itunes. Ok, so I will survive. Now that my supply of music is secure I can now start to worry about the threat of terrorism.

Wesley Willis

I have already managed to forget how I heard about Wesley Willis. I think his name was mentioned in an online article about some doomed semi-obscure singer. I am listening to his CD "greatest hits volume 2". Needless to say he never had a hit, but was famous enough to have fans. When he met them he used to head butt them in a slow way. His CD, "greatest hits volume 1" is selling for twenty quid on Amazon. He talks and rants in a semi-crazed way on the CD I now own.

pink elephants

I have been trying to cut down on drinking a couple of beers before I goto bed. In principle this should mean that I feel a lot fresher in the morning. However I find that I have very vivid dreams when I sleep sober. I think that the alcohol is suppressing my imagination. For example on Sunday I dreamt that I was wondering around town trying to find a place to mastibate in the street. Then there was a big hole in my penis, where blood gushed out. So I felt like sh*t on Monday, even though I didn't go out and party on the booze the night before. I am sure there could be some kind of Freudian interpretation of this dream, but it is particularly mean to use sexual desire in a nightmare. Normally sexual fantasy in dreams is a good way to hide from the killers in the nightmares. On Tuesday I drank some beer before I went to bed. I had a dream about a puppy and the dog I owned when I was a child. Ummm. Of course if I told this story in the real world, people would start to mutter about "pink elephants" and flying pigs. The Floyd are touring again, so the flying animal may in fact be real this time.

bins and entropy

Another week passes. Another bin full of rubbish. The cycle continues.

I think from the contents of the bin that `i try to live a frugal life.

4

I was planning to go and see some French film on Friday night (Tell No One), but a last minute computer problem forced me to stay slightly late. So instead I went to see the latest "fantastic four film" at the local Grosvner theatre. It was an OK film, but it didn't do too much for me. Frankly I don't go to watch super hero films, to see them have angst about getting married. More explosions! It was all too cute and bright, even though one of the characters get tortured for a short while. In his review of the fantastic 4 film Mark Kermode mentioned that you don't get to learn a lot about the mythology of the "silver surfer" from the film. The history of the silver surfer comic is interesting, if the Wikepedia entry can be believed. The comic got killed because of too much angst.

friendship

I have been living a fairly reclusive life the last few years, so I don't have too many close friends. I do read that people with a happy family and social life live longer. But trying to make friends by grasping people by the collar and shouting "be my friend. I don't want to die," has frankly not improved my circle of friends. The real reason for this post is that I wanted to sign up for Jost (Internet TV), but I need a friend to refer me. I don't know anyone who has Jost. I am not moving in hard core nerd circles. Anyway, let us see if the power of the google blog search will help me find a friend who will refer me to a beta Jost account. I so deserve to be an early adopter. Friends help their friends spend more time online.

Black-Scholes

On the train to my mum's house, I read "Fischer Black and the revolutionary idea of Finance" by Perry Mehrling. Fischer Black was a theorist who invented ways to study the stock market and money. I am starting to understand this derivative (in the finance sense) business a bit better. He was a loner recluse, but still managed to be married 3 times. He had a very clever filing system that allowed him to work very efficiently. I didn't know that they didn't understand the stockmarket in the late 60s, and early 70s.

stag night

I went to a stag do last weekend. While I was out in Edinburgh one time, I saw a lot of people wearing fancy dress. I was a bit worried that a stag night in Glasgow would also mean having to wear a some kind of fancy dress, or perhaps even worse a shirt. Luckily though a stag night in Glasgow is a more classy affair than in Edinburgh. The plan was to drink a couple of beers and then take a trip to a strip joint. I have to admit I bailed on the strip joint part. Obviously, a trip to a strip joint might have livened up the stories I tell, but frankly it all seemed very expensive. So I sat in a pub instead till closing time, choosing booze over naked flesh. The next day it was the West End festival. The West End was full of people. I didn't see any of the parade, but spent all my time dodging people. Somehow there seemed more drinks on the street this year, then last year. Clearly the best place to see the parade is to sit in a pub in Ashton lane, and munch on a burger. I am only happy when I am not happy.

bin day

I think it has been two weeks since I posted a picture of my bin. Somehow I didn't produce enough rubbish. Also I stayed at my mum's house last week. A bit of a harsh week.

Kate Nash

I sent to see Kate Nash play at King Tuts on Sunday. I got there just as the support act were finishing up. The venue was packed, but the support act were not very loud. The audience seemed to like them, so what do I know? Every time I have been to King Tuts, the venue has been packed. This could be because I only go out to see people half way up the escalator of fame and fortune. Kate Nash played a very intense set. She swears a lot -- a good sign.

El Topo

Hippies shouldn't be allowed to make films I went to see the film "El Topo" at the Glasgow film theatre (GFT) on Friday. The GFT is the main art house cinema in Glasgow. El Topo was apparently a famous film in the early 70s. F*ck knows why. It starts with a gun fighter looking for a gang who murdered a village. He finds the gang and some hippie chick. Then he goes in search of four gun men in the desert. Then he dies and wakes up in a cave with a bunch of people who are deformed. The plot goes on, but I guess that you are having problems following. I am glad I saw it, and it was not as pretentious as my crappy plot synopsis makes out. I am probably just bitter, because I cou\ld have gone to see "the battle of Algiers" instead.

another bin day comes around

Another week, another bin full of rubbish. It is the futility of it all that gets me the most. The week starts with the bin pristine and clean. After a week of harsh living the bin is full of decomposing food and polluting packaging. This pattern will repeat for the rest of my life. There must be a way of breaking out of this cycle of existence. Buddha, wot do ya say?

some old sounds

When I was around 16 to 18, I used to listen to Marc Boland's T-Rex a lot. As time passed I didn't play Trex so much -- partly because I am trying to keep up with the new sounds from new bands. Also Marc Boland was viewed by some people (such as John Peel) as a bit of a twat. Also I found out that Boland was one of the first "boy bands". Ok, maybe the monkeys were first... I was pointed in the direction of Boland's first band called "John's children". This is before Boland got into glam, but the sound of "John's children" is really exciting. Boland was writing the songs, but somehow he wasn't totally in charge. Since we are talking about groups who are perhaps not so famous, I also got a copy of the CD "Y" by the pop group. This group recorded during the late 70s. I am not an expert on musicology, but this doesn't sound like they are playing pop music. In fact it is not clear that all band members are playing the same song. This is not to say that they were one of those punk bands who couldn't play- but somehow it is a wonderful mess. Since we are talking "post punk", the fopp store in Glasgow tried to tempt me with a CD by magazine. For some reason, I remember that I need to own a magazine CD. Also, if you see me out in a CD shop you will sometime see me say "fu*k" near the section that starts with "b". I will get a CD by "the blue orchids" one day.

from autumn to ashes

I went out to see the band "from autumn to ashes" play at King Tuts last Sunday. They are a new metal band. Frankly, I just wanted a night out. They were pretty intense though, so I enjoyed their set. I also bought a ticket to see Kate Nash play. The gig is 8 days away. I can't wait.

steel

I have to admit I do spend a lot of time looking at myspace profiles. Some may call this stalking, others may simply suggest that I get a life. Some profiles have a picture of people pointing a gun at at the camera. I don't worry that these people have real guns. They don't look so hard to me. When I was at school I took a course in theatre arts (that I failed). One thing I did learn is that the audience in a theater suspends their belief for the show. They accept that people don't really die on stage. This seems similar to me not being worried by gun carying myspacers. Somehow I can accept that the gun is not real. Does the contract of disbelief transfer to other weapons? I think I would be more worried by pictures of people holding a knife. There is nothing fake about cold steel. Anyway here is a picture of my machete. You can judge whether you are worried or not. I don't view it as a combat blade.

beer from around the world

I was walking by the off licence at the end of Byers Rd in the fabulous West End of Glasgow. An old man with a long white beard beckoned me in. Dostoyevsky, I thought, and I walked into the shop to shake his hand. But poof he disappeared, as I entered the shop. The only thing that remained was a bottle of Bajithka 3. Wow, Russian beer imported to Glasgow. Yes, I can get beer from all round the world in Glasgow. Apart from common places such as Germany and Poland, the picture shows a beer from Argentina. I once had a wicked plan to seduce someone by claiming to be able to take them on a world tour. My cunning scheme was then to take them to bar that sells beers from around the world. Then I could innocently say, "what I actually said was that we were going to drink ourselves around the world". I am not sure it would have worked, somehow I guess that most women would think that that world tour means actually going to the country. My theories that drinking a beer from a country allows you to teleport there, wouldn't go down well on your average date. What have I learnt from drinking beer from many different places around the world? Well, beer makes you ill, fat and stupid, whatever country it is brewed in.

bin day cheat

Ok, so it is bin day again. I have to admit, I drank two cans of Stella after I took this photograph, because I was chilling after a bad day at work. So pleas imagine two additional cans of Stella in the bin.

Shadow Boxer

I was bored on Thursday so I rented the DVD "Shadow Boxer" from Blockbuster. This film is about two assassins, who pick up a woman and her new born child, when a job goes wrong. Yep standard stuff. Helen Mirren of, the Queen, fame was in the film, but somehow this didn't really help. Somehow all the ingredients in the film didn't gell for me. Also, when I was in Blockbuster I noted that have the box sets for the first thee series of "24" in. Somehow, I doubted that work would view needing to take two weeks off to watch them, as a legitimate reason for not coming in

Wednesday

As I walked in today I suddenly woke up and started to look for some remarkable event that I could record and ponder on. The pavements were almost deserted. The term is winding down at the University, so the students have gone home or are getting up later. There were enough people around so that I wasn't alone on the streets As I walked towards to Great Western Rd, I saw a Rastafarian smoothly walking towards me. He was cool and relaxed. He seemed to be carrying two machine gun shells. I don't mean small ones like you would use in a AK-47, but really big meaty big ones that could be used in Gatling gun. He wasn't giving off any negative vibes. This was some kind of non-local sonic vibration from Lee Scratch Perry's DJ set on the radio last Sunday.

Sunday

Since I have been living in Glasgow I have been going out much less. This might be because I live in a nicer place where people don't throw rocks through the window, or it might be one of those age things. Look why would I want to go out when I see scary things from my windows. It is marching season in Glasgow. Marching doesn't seem to attract beautiful people. I did venture out to go shopping down Great Western Rd on Sunday. There are so many "ethnic" shops in Glasgow. I got some chillies from a Mexican shop on Great Western Rd. I had to wait because a bunch of lads from Northern Island, really each needed the Mexican sandwich from the shop. I have to admit there was a choice between getting 9/10 hot chillies and getting 3/10 dried chillies. The packet for 9/10 chillies warned about even touching the chillies. There are certain realities about the way I live. After I prepared my salad and chillis, I went to the toilet. I suddenly thought, perhaps I should wash my hands before I use the toilet after I have prepared chillis. This chilli trip is all going to end in tears.

two days in my life

As I walked to work on Monday I saw a big white truck. I was surprised to see an older woman with whitish hair driving it. On the side of the truck was written "Correctional unit". I wanted to bang on the side of the truck -- for the purposes of solidarity with the comrade who who was clearly on the way to one of her Majesty's long term hotels, but I didn't because I hesitated. I was going to write about some event I had witnessed as I walked to work today, but my mind was total blank. I couldn't remember anything about my journey to work. I then started to recall the speaker on "thought for today", on the Today program on the radio, talk about how he got sacked for stealing a packet of cigarettes when he worked at a pub. I thought it was kind of a strange story for a priest to use, but then perhaps he was lying. When I was putting my rubbish out, I suddenly felt something lick my hand. A white bulldog had been left outside the Tenement building. The area is enclosed, so he couldn't get out. I petted him for a while. He was a very friendly dog. I like dogs, but I don't really live a life style where I can take care of one. There are lots of places to take a dog for a walk around here. The dog looked betrayed when I locked him back outside. I like dogs.

Glasgow melts into Edinburgh

I always thought I lived in Glasgow. However, I found out that a pub close to me called Crosslands on Queen Margret Drive was actually used a location for the film Trainspotting. This is particularly weird, because Trainspotting was actually set in Edinburgh. I assume it was cheaper to film in Glasgow. It has been a while since I have watched the film, but the pub features in the scene where the nutter throws a glass over his shoulder. It is a local pub for local people. I don't go in there too much, (except when I need to spread my message of temperance). What does it mean, when a pub in a film set in Edinburgh is actually in Glasgow? Reality can no longer be trusted. Glasgow and Edinburgh are merging.

rubbish

Like many people I am starting to worry about my "carbon footprint". (Ok, I don't worry about it in the sense that I am not going to not attend two conferences in Germany this year, or go on holiday to Poland, but I will wring my hands a bit). I think the only responsible thing to do is semi-regularly publish picture of my rubbish bin. This will show how much packaging that I am using. So you will find the state of my bin today. There is no recycling in this part of Glasgow. Also, I am trying to cut down on having a couple of beers before I go to bed. After a week, my bin is full of shiny aluminum cans. This is probably not a good habit. I am baring this intimate details of my life. Other people may have hidden in their kitchens, bins full of dead dogs, bloody condoms, drug pipes, and playboy magazines, but I am not afraid to show the full details of my life.

chillis

Tesco have finally consented to sell me strong chillis. How I thought this was going to make me happy I don't know. I used some with my dinner. My stomach felt that it had been liquefied. I am not sure where this urge to eat the maximum strength spices comes from.. Anyway, there are places on the great Western Rd, where I can get chillis. Perhaps, these chillis are stronger that those on sale from Tesco. I have to go and find out. How can I look people in the eye, if I am not operating at maximum chilli eating strength. I can see that one day I will disappear. There will just be a pool of burnt flesh seeping under the door of my flat and into the drains.

Thoughts on Kate Nash

I was watching "later with Jools Holland" last night, I was happy to see that he had Kate Nash play a song. I really like her singing, but she does seem to hate men. OK, a bit unfair, but she is not the kind of chick you would want to have an argument with. She spits out "why don't you have another beer again," in way that makes it sound like a bad thing. In fact a lot of the newer female singer song writers tend to sing about being emotionally cruel to their men folk. It is the latest thing.

28 weeks later

I went to see the film "twenty eight weeks later" on Thursday. This was the sequel to the film "28 days later". This was another zombie movie. I went to see the film at the Grosvner cinema in the fabulous West End of Glasgow. The cinema was fairly full of people. Zombie movies are always popular. I really liked the scenes in the film, where London was shown deserted. I now know that in a fight between a helicopter and a crowd of zombies -- the helicopter will win. After the film, I went for a few beers around Gibbons street. This street is meant to be a big student area, but all the pubs were very high class.

Life on Mars

I watched the final episode of the box set for series 1 of Life on Mars last night. What a great TV series! A policeman gets knocked down in 2006, and then wakes up in 1973. It is pretty clear that he is coma, but he doesn't know how to wake up. There is a lot of cultural problems with his 2006 views clashing with those from the people who really live in "1973". I particularly liked some of his dilemmas where he felt he was the only person who was really real. (Although some people felt that this made him a bit crazy).

The money machine

I just finished reading "the money machine -- how the city works" by Philip Coggan. This book explains, in basic terms, the financial ideas used in the City of London. Since I have also been reading a lot of books on Silicon valley start ups. it was interesting to see that there was nothing on venture capital. At the end of the book I was slightly more convicted that some aspects of "the city" were useful. I don't really see myself as a stockbroker, but perhaps I could hack a bit of code for them.

spiderman III

Ok, I went to see spiderman III on Friday. Ummm. I was thinking of leaving the cinema after the first 1/2 hour, because nothing much had happened. It picked up after a while. I could see what they were trying to do, but I was still bored at the end. I miss seeing the spiderman cartoons on Saturday morning. Even though I watched many of the episodes many times, I was still confused about "mistress web". I find it hard to get up on Saturday morning without my spiderman treat.

What's cool in my musical household

Joanna Newsom. Harp playing is cool again. Joanna gets a lot of name check from radio6 DJs. I own her CD called "Ys". A very different sound. Rumour has she is an item with Bill Callahan (who used to be known as SMOG). My jealousy is more bizzare, because I don't know what she looks like. I still need her first CD, as well as the latest from Bill Callahan . Joan as police woman. I almost went to see Joan as police woman play in the West End, but I was sick and trying to hit some deadline (that seemed important at the time). Joan is another chic with a weird and harsh singing voice. Grinderman. This is Nick Cave with most of the bad seeds. It is noisy aggressive stuff. What's not cool. I am not going to get the new artic monkeys CD. Why bother? I liked the first artic monkeys CD, but I lost interest when Gordon Brown said he had it on his Ipod (yeah right). Also I am not too excited about the new White Stripes CD. Somehow, the sound of the white stripes has become diluted. So now you know.

A walk through the fabulous West End of Glasgow

I managed to pick up another cold on Sunday. How many more am I going to get this year? Whine, whine. Since I couldn't work on bank holiday Monday, I went for a walk around the fabulous West End of Glasgow. I went to Gibson street that is close to the University. There are a number of nice restaurants and bars around there. There is a very big bar (that I have forgotten the name of) near Woodlands Rd, that I remember that I went to with a big party of people maybe about 7 years ago before I started living in Glasgow. It is good to find places that you have been too, during a drunken night, in the clean light of the day. I found a good Indian supermarket there. I need to get an Indian cookbook to take advantage of all the ingredients I can now buy. Glasgow is very cosmopolitan. I know where there is a very good Chinese supermarket in the center of town. I now have a cupboard full of strong sauces.

the smart crowd

File Edit Options Buffers Tools Help I am not a person who is known for their dapper dress sense. I was watching Carl Perkins play "Blue Suede shoes". He looked so smart in his sharp suit. I started to think that perhaps I too could smarten up a little bit. So into Glasgow I went for some shopping. After going around the shops I ended up buying a grey sweatshirt and a pair of trainers. Part of the problem was the washing instructions on the more fancy clothes involved low temperatures. It was clear I would probably destroy them in one wash. I only know one setting for the washing machine in the flat, mostly because there are no instructions. I was never meant to hang out with the beautiful crowd.

Crossing the chasm

Last night I finished reading "Crossing the chasm" by Geoffrey Moore. This is a book about marketing high tech products. The idea is that there is a chasm between selling to different sets of people. For example, some people (early adaptors) like new technology, so will buy (or download) new things. Other people will only buy the software if they are convinced there is need. Also there are people who hate new things, so have to be dragged kicking and screaming to buy new technology. So a product may sell well to early adaptors, but the company needs to open sales to the pragmatic group There is a chasm in sales. There are more pragmatic people than early adaptors. This another book that has show me the importance of vertical markets (specialized product) versus horizontal markets.

London to Brighton

I watched the DVD for the film "London to Brighton" on Monday. This was a recent British film. The one sentence plot is a prostitute and young girl go on the run from a London gangster and pimp. The film is very real and gritty. The actor who plays the prostitute was particularly good. I was sad to read that she is working in a shop, because she couldn't get any new acting roles. I felt I should have gone out to watch "This is England", as the critics says this is another good British film. It is a sad testament to Thatcher and Blair that are not many British films about politics. Most of our films are about gangsters or fluff ("love actually"). On TV there was a program about some film about a person working in the council. I am not sure that type of film would be made now, mostly because a large fraction of us having given up on this voting business. On reflection there is a lot of drama on TV about modern politics, so perhaps I just need to watch more things on the smaller screen.

depression

I had a number of bad dreams one night about people shooting into my house. This is particularly weird because I don't actually live in a house with a garden, where bodies can be buried. (OK, I need to cut down on the number of action movies I watch) The worst dreams are when I feel like I am being smothered by someone. I try and wake up ready for a fight for survival, only to find my arm has cramp. Before I went away I saw a TV program about the depression that Stephen Fry suffers from. As part of the program, Stephen showed the inside of the hospital on Cromwell Rd in London where he stayed, when he had a break down because he was crap in a play. How these celebrities lord it over us! When I used to live in London I used to de-stress by walking along Cromwell Rd. In the darkness, I used to stare at the green windows of the Cromwell hospital. I used to fantasize about the emotional care they were getting in the hospital. I would trudge back through the litter to my solitary bedsit. Yeah, celebrities go to rehab. The rest of us fall low and end up drinking special brew outside the super-market. Yes, rehap for me would be spending a couple of years selling the big issue. There is an interesting story about depression in the online guardian. From the article:

Then, in the early 1600s, a mass epidemic of depression broke out.

It is clear that we need Dr Who to travel back in time to sort this depression thing out.

all change at radio6

I was really enjoying listening to many of the shows on radio 6. Then suddenly a bunch of my favorite shows were cut. For example the following shows were ended , MINT, Phil Jupters, and Andrew Collins, in the last couple of weeks. I particularly miss listening to Phil Jupters in the morning. I am back to listening to the Today program on radio4. They seem to move in a lot of comedians as DJs. This would be OK, but there is usually less emphasis on music and more on the presenters sexual exploits or failings. Having Russell Brand the station was some horrible nightmare. Yes of course, I didn't need to listen to his show, but they used to advertise his show on all the other shows. He has been off the station for a while, but as you can see I am still bitter about having his existence forced on me. Still, I find that I like many of the new shows. I like Guy Garvey (lead singer of elbow), Queens of Noize, Bob Dylan, and Don Letts. The aim of radio6 is to promote new music, so perpetual change is part of the deal. The listen again feature has changed the way I listen to the radio. I am listening to last night's Guy Garvey's show on this bank holiday morning. He just had an interview with the singer "Joan as Policewoman". I can now listen to shows I want, when I want to. So if I don't like Stephen Merchant -- I don't have to listen. I can put on an earlier show instead. The "listen-again" feature means that there is no excuse for missing a show. So I try to listen to every "Marc Riley's Brain Surgery", just in case I miss some new sound. The Grinderman session on Brain Surgery was great last week on the Brain Surgery.

shark

I have just finished reading "The Raw shark texts" by Steven Hall. In some sense this was a confusing book. The main character wakes up in a room not knowing who he is. He then finds that he is being chased by a conceptual shark made from words and ideas. To find out what is going on, he has to find "unspace". (Did I mention it was a bit confusing). I find that normally that this kind of plot is too intellectual and clever for its own good. This book somehow managed to walk the fine line between humanity and cold intellect. The main character dreams of his girl friend who had drowned off a Greek Island. One of the main characters was a cat who ate tuna and slept a lot.

soul

I was shocked when I heard that Billy Bragg liked Motown music. I was young, but somehow it didn't seem fair that an angry young man with a guitar, should like Motown. Looking back at Bragg's work, it is more obvious that he has a wide taste in music. Don't get me wrong I don't dislike Motown music, I do sort of like it. I wouldn't buy any Motown music, but I wouldn't (metaphorically) smash a radio up if I heard it played, as I would do with many tunes from boy bands. I do like Amy Winehouse. I like her singing style, and I even own her first CD. So I am finding soul. (Note that I said singing, rather than talking). She is a bit gobby. Another singer I like is Candie Payne from Liverpool. She has such a sweet rich voice. She is a guest DJ on radio 6, so also has a cute speaking voice. Candie Payne is playing Glasgow on May 16th at King Tuts I was going to end this scribble by saying that Napalm Death are going to be playing in Glasgow in the summer, so I will go to seem them to cleanse this soul madness from my system. Still I like what I like. By the magic of Firefox tabs, I can play Napalm death at the same time as Candie Payne. Interesting.

new voting addiction

I did actually bother to vote in the local elections and elections for Scottish parliament today. I had not voted for a while. It did seem pointless, when "new labour" was just the same as Tory. I assume I didn't screw up my ballot papers. I did follow the written instructions, but given the large number of spoilt ballot papers I could be one of those who screwed up. Anyway the only reason I wanted to vote was to give Blair a bloody nose, before he left. Although Tony Blair has been on TV, saying the election results were not so bad for labour. That's so true Tony, just like your foreign policies in Iraq have been a success. I am now addicted to voting. What can I vote for next? The BBC have an interesting page for the LHC.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will re-create the conditions present just after the big bang. Some scientists argue that during a ten year spell of operation there is a 1 in 50,000,000 chance like the LHC could cause a catastrophe of epic proportions. Either a Black Hole or a new type of matter known as `strangelets' could form destroying the planet. Or possibly the fabric of space could be ripped apart producing a truly cosmic cataclysm. Given these odds do you think the LHC should be switched on?

I voted no. I am willing to admit that I am being slightly disloyal. The web page from the BBC was created because of a science TV program about the LHC. This was a depressing program, because they marketed the LHC as a telescope. The first twenty minutes of the program was about astronomy. Why did they need to show pictures from the Hubble telescope in a program about particle physics? There were a lot of celebrity physicists saying folksy and basic stuff in semi-darkness. Although, I am in favour of popular science journalism, somehow this program was misleading. They stressed black hole production (bollocks), but didn't mention "the grid". Somebody should be punished for making that crappy program, so I used my vote. If you interested the vote was 53% to 47% for turning the LHC on. So as usual my vote didn't matter. I do see visions of Profs from High Energy Physics groups ordering their graduate students to vote "yes" before they were let out for the weekend.

the google story

I feel depressed that I didn't get a lot of things done over the weekend. Apart from go to gigs and watching TV, I did manage to finish "the google story" by David Vise. This is an unofficial history of the google company. It was interesting for a number of reasons. They only started the company to buy more computers to index the web. They didn't have any real ideas on how to make money when they started. The online advertising idea was developed a plan at the beginning. Google did start to make money very quickly, so was not your standard dot com company.

Billy Childish

I went to see Billy Childish and his new band play at the Grand Central. This place is by Central station in Glasgow. I have in fact walked past it many times, but I still managed to get lost, and it took me twenty minutes to find. I only found out about the gig when I noticed a flyer close to the University library. I enjoyed the music. Billy Childish didn't seem to play many new songs from his album: Punk Rock at the British Legion Hall. Billy Childish have punk garage sound. I drank way too much beer at the gig and afterwards in the club. One day I will learn.

Loudon Wainwright III

I did see Loudon Wainwright III play at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall on Sunday. The show was almost sold out. I used the web system to buy the ticket. I kept clicking various bits of virtual theatre, just for the stupid system to tell me that area was full. Just as I was about to give up I found an empty seat. Well I guess the indie crowd love his children Martha and Rufus Wainwright more than Loudon, but I still think he is the best. Some of his songs were very funny, but some songs were so sad. There were some particularly sad songs about his mum. There was one song were he come back home after a night of parties -- all sad and depressed. His mum gives him bacon and coffee. (This was a song from his younger days I might add). I am not sure I like these sit down gigs. It just seems very wrong to sit down to watch a gig. Also I missed the start by about 5 seconds and the theater was dark. So I did manage to watch the warm up act (yet another Wainwright child) standing up because I couldn't find my seat.

Loudon

I am hoping to see Loudon Wainwright III play in Glasgow at the weekend. The way my home body life is going, I probably will not be organized enough to go to the gig. Perhaps 20 years ago I was waiting to hear a session on radio 1 by Wainwright. I was listening to the first the song by Wainwright. My mum suddenly walks into the room in tears. "Who wrote this song," she asked. Needless to say the song was about the dreaded divorce thing. I didn't have the heart to tell my mum, that I was waiting for Wainwright's song about him going round to a woman's hotel room, as there was a show on TV with him playing. His devious trick, didn't work out because, although the woman liked men, she didn't like the thing between their legs. That is the power of Loudon. Some of his songs are goofy, but others are painfully intense. Now of course, both his children are famous singers too. Perhaps I like Martha Wainwright best. In a recent interview with Martha, she said that when she was young she used to line her barbie dolls up and let them get run over. I can't actually find the article where she says this, but I would like it to be true. Anyway Martha sounds like the kind of chick, I would like to chug a few beers with, but given her pop status, I might have to settle for a bag of cocaine or a kicking from her bodyguards. This is more commitment than I can give to a fantasy relationship.

Beirut

Thanks to the Freakzone on radio6 I heard about a band/person called Beirut who have a CD out called Gulag Orkestar. As usual I can't be bothered to do more than name check, but you can read a better review here. The sound of the CD is Balkan gypsy music. One issue is that the CD is made by someone in the US (from their bedroom), so it is perhaps not really authentic. On the other hand I like the sound. It reminds me of when The Wedding Present put out some kind of Ukrainian music. Anyway, the bottom line is that I like the sound that Beirut make.

business of software

I have just finished reading the book "Eric Sink on the Business of Software". This is not selling software like Microsoft do. The idea is to sell just a small piece of software for a niche or horizontal markets. Then you don't have to compete against the big boys.

flu woes

The Chinese flu in my system was really getting me down. Thanks to global warming, it has been nice and warm in Glasgow this last week. As I walked around the fabulous West End of Glasgow, everyone looked so happy to be bathed in the sun. I felt like sh*t, because of the downer that is Chinese flu. I scowled at the young lovers holding hands. I wanted to say "this won't last. In a week's time it will be raining. In twenty years time your children will hate you, and in 40 years time you will be dead." A shrunken beggar asked to borrow 20p. I almost wept with joy, as I shook his hand. "Thank you", I said, as I vigorously pumped his hand. He edged away, happy to get away from the miserable madman. Its not worth it for 20p. I am now starting to fell better. As I woke this morning, I felt pretty weird. It had been a while since I felt any spark of joy to be alive.

shooter

I went to see the film shooter last week. It was kind of dumb, but I enjoyed it. An expert sniper is asked back to protect the president, but is framed. You know the story. Still it was well done.

Micro-ISV from vision to reality

I have just finished a book called "Micro-ISV" by Bob Walsh. Since there is a 3 letter acronym in the title you can probably guess that the book had something to do with computers. ISV stands for independent software vendor. These are small companies that write specialized software. The idea was to stay small, so that venture capital is not needed. The book was very interesting, but starting an ISV looked like a lot of work.

sunshine

I saw the film "Sunshine" this week. This is a fantastic new film directed by Danny Boyle. A team of astronauts travel to the sun to drop a bomb in it, to try and restart it. It was a very beautiful film. There was a lot of time spent just staring at the sun as they got closer. The sun up close did look fantastic.

snot

This Chinese flu thing is still in my system. It has been two weeks and I am still sniffling and unable to function. I feel bad, when I walk around. I start to sneeze and cough. Then I hear other people start wheezing and coughing too. It is almost as though I am the carrier of some designer Chinese plague. Although, I feel it is unlikely that the Chinese government will want to harm people in the UK, because the Chinese economy depends on foreign consumers. Am I complaining and feeling sorry for myself? Frankly, yes..

The God Delusion

It is Easter Sunday, so it is fitting that I have just finished reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. This book is a sound argument for atheist (not a wimpy book for agnostics). I listened a bit to some religious service on radio4. It just seemed so alien and strange I never had much faith to lose, so I was sympathetic to his general argument. His political points are perhaps more important. There is no clear distinction between the religious extremist and the moderate. The one part I disagreed with Dawkins was that he was happy with anthropic arguments for basic physical theory. Dear Richard, arguments for physics, purely based on anthropic arguments, are for losers. Of course if I am going to win this Templeton prize (for the fusion of science and religion) , I will have to refute his arguments. I expect that this may be difficult using logic. A better idea might to compromise Dawkins with a spiked drink and some whores and then sell the pictures to the News of the World Newspaper. This seems more humane than killing him. Although, I would be the hero of Christianity for doing this (unless I got caught), I don't see anyway of using the shaming of Dawkins to win the Templeton prize.

300

I went to see the film 300 this week. I think I got an introduction to ancient Greek history. And there was a bit of fighting too. I can see why some people felt it was a bit homo-erotic.

The North will rise again

I have just finished reading a book called Pies and Prejudice by Stuart Maconie. (Stuart is also the DJ for the radio 6 show called the freakzone and hence is the person who made me buy a Circlus CD). Stuart was born in Wigan, but is living in the South. He tours many places in the North and North West. Part of the book is a bit of a rant about the South, particularly as the South controls the media. I grew up in Cheshire, so I of course agree that there is more to England, than the leafy lanes of the South. I have been listening to a CD of a famous Bob Dylan concert that he played in 1965. Dylan went electric, and you can hear part of the audience slow hand clap him. For many years this was described as a concert at Royal Albert Hall, however it was actually recorded in Manchester. Typical! The book is a celebration of the North of England. The book is very funny and not to be taken too seriously. It would be good to read a more political book on the North, because as Stuart notes there is actually quite a lot of money hidden in the North. Although technically I was born in Southampton, I don't feel that makes me a southerner. I hope we are clear about that.

Why I don't like 24

Ok, here are some reasons that I don't like the 24 series. The Counter Terrorist Unit CTU, does spend a large amount of time torturing people. In the episode I just watched, somebody from Amnesty global came to stop someone being tortured. The cunning people at CTU managed to torture him anyway. My guess is that if you added up the number of people who are tortured but who are innocent, then that would be virtually everyone. Anyway if you do get tortured and you are innocent, then you just get back to work. If you complain about it, then you get fired (told to leave work), as just happened in series 4 of 24. It is kind of weird, that that the US TV and films is trying to make the public, believe that it is acceptable to torture people and also that the government is corrupt. Still it is fun to watch. The program seems to have been made by Fox and Sky, so I wasn't really expecting objectivity.

some random music stuff

I have been listening to a CD called "in my own time" by Karen Dalton. Karen was in the New York folk scene in the early 60s. She seems to have been shy, so didn't push herself. My crap review of her singing is like a folk version of Billie Holiday. Her voice is amazing. I have also been listening to Bob Dylan 1966. This is a record of a famous gig in Manchester. It is amazing, because you can hear the audience slow hand clap the songs with electric guitars. This was the time when Dylan went electric, much to the disgust of his folk fans. Hadn't they heard of the Blues? I have also been listening to a CD of songs produced by Joe Meek. Joe was an infamous producer in the 60s. The songs are great pop songs, but somehow some of them are about suicide, bubble gum and sunshine.

Conclusion to trip

So my journey to China came to end. I will now try and conclude what I have learnt from this experience. As George Moore says:

"A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it"

The Tao has been the hidden textual message of these entries about Beijing, so I will end with a quote from Confucius.

"diet and lovemaking, all primal needs of every human being".

Food in Beijing

I enjoyed the food in China. Some of the places to eat didn't have menus with pictures as they usually do in Japan. This makes ordering a bit difficult. I got very paranoid with English menus. I got more and more convinced that the English menus were different to the Chinese menus. At meal times I got tortured by the thought that the other diners were tucking into normal Chinese foods in the Sichuan style. The hotel offered a western and Chinese buffet. The western part of breakfast was toast and boiled eggs. The Chinese part of breakfast including all kinds of pickles, rice, noodles, dumplings, and some meat. I enjoyed the breakfasts, but I am not sure my body really likes spicy pickles at the start of the day. I was ready to have my taste buds expanded when I was in China. I might have tried dogs meat. At lunch time, on a couple of days, I ended up have some kind of noodles with hot water from stores/cafes. Yes, I went to China and ate pot noodles! On my last night I did eat eel. This is not pushing the envelope of my taste buds too far, but was new food to me.

Final day in Beijing

On my final day in Beijing, I took a tour of the Hutongs in Beijing. The woman in the hotel who sold me the tour was cute. (I can declare my desire safe behind the Chinese firewall) She spoke the best English in the hotel. She asked me about some English book she was reading. This turned out to be a self-help book for women looking for love. The question I was asked "was whether the author was famous." It wasn't totally clear what the best thing to say was. To my shame I have slunk around the self help sections of bookshops, but I didn't recognize the author The tour around the Hutongs was interesting. The tour was in a bicycle buggy. The Hutons are areas of traditional Beijing housing. Many of these areas are now being destroyed and people are moved into high rise flats (that are incredibly ugly) The tour around the Hutongs was interesting. The tour was in a bicycle buggy. The Hutons are areas of traditional Beijing housing. Many of these areas are now being destroyed and people are moved into high rise flats (that are incredibly ugly) I saw another area of Hutongs when I was trying to avoid the unofficial taxis outside the summer palace. There were a lot of pool tables outside. It does rain in Beijing, so the tables must be covered.

TV in china

There was a TV in my hotel room that showed the national Chinese TV channels. Kung fu transcends language barriers so I was happy to see the odd person getting beaten up. There was one kung fu show that was almost like a soap opera. The kung fu master was clearly in love with some young kung fu chick, who had a younger boy friend. Frankly, I was in love with the kung fu chick, she had the most beautiful smile. There were a lot of quiz show programs. They had young beautiful people on it being sexy. However, I didn't see anyone do more than kissing, so it looks like sex is still forbidden in China. One channel was in English. This seemed to mostly have business stories and a little bit of news. There was certainly no communist propaganda, because everyone is too busy trying to get rich. They only had three adverts on the English channel. These adverts were played about 4 times an hour? One advert was for a pillow filled with tea leaves! What, why? I admit that, if I have run out of tea, I might need to dump my tea-pillow in a bucket of hot water and drink that. How do they wash a tea pillow. I have been brain washed in some strange way. The other advert was for Js travel. Frankly, if I ever go to China again, I will not book my trip via Js travel. If I hear about J's travel, I am likely to start sobbing. After a week of watching these adverts I was ready to kill someone.

Summer palace

On Saturday I went to the summer palace in Beijing. This was another palace for the Emperors. It took a taxi ride to get me to the summer palace. This left me in a bad mood, but it was well worth the trip. There was a huge lake in the center that I walked around There a stone boat that the hated Empress Dowager built instead of building real ships. When there was a war it turned out real ships were better than stone ships and hence China lost various wars. It was very relaxing to walk around the lake. The summer palaces had been torched (after being looted) by the English during the Opium wars. This was to teach the Chinese a lesson. It turned out that the Brit. in charge was none other the famous Lord Elgin. I think this is the same dude who acquired the Elgin marbles. So I guess, if I do any thieving, I should remember to send some spoils to the British Museum.

guns and things in Beijing

On Friday all I did was go to the military museum. The museum just contained a lot of missiles, tanks and things. The upper floor had exhibitions of the communists war against the nationalists. I personally got depressed when you think about the amount of money sent on all the weapons. I did like the displays of knifes and swords, because are more fun and elegant than boring old guns. I also liked some of the smaller mortars, because they looked as though they could fit in a backpack. The guide book claimed that there was an area in the museum where you could fire air guns. Unfortunately, I didn't find the place. Somehow the museum was split into two for some reason. Unfortunately, the half I was in did not have toilets, so that cut short my visit. Expedia were also selling a great wall of china tour that also involved being shown how to fire guns by ex-members of the Red Army. Obviously, I wanted to go on such a classy tour. I could then claim that I was trained in the military arts by the Chinese military forces.

Why I like 24

This Chinese flu virus has me in its grips. My new cure for flu and colds is to watch DVD boxed sets and wait for the poison to leave my system. I am now watching "24" series 4. This is a lot of episodes to get through. I think one of reasons I like "24" is that the hacker programmers are important to the plot. I don't see my self in a gun battle. Although I could probably shoot someone in the back like the SAS do, because it wouldn't be too dangerous. I like the idea of hacking code and using google to look stuff up. I could write some code. I also wouldn't mind be tortured for a bit as well. The hackers are cool for that. They get tortured and then they go back to work. I don't think I want to do this for some weird sexual reason, I just like the idea of being a hero. Of course what would actually happen is that as soon as they get the torture tools out, I would burst into tears and wet my paints. Still it is fun to dream. I am going to sign off now, I have another 10 hours of episodes left.

The Great Wall of China

On the Wednesday I took a trip to the Great Wall of China. I booked this with Expedia. There was a driver and a tour guide and one other person on the tour. We went to the part of the all known as Simatai. This a quieter part of the Great Wall, without the huge tourist carnival. The drive took about three hours. I trusted the driver, but the driving on Chinese roads was fairly insane. Everyone was overtaking on the both the inside (using the layby) and the outside. People didn't always give much time to getting back in lane when they were overtaking. The climb up to the Great Wall of China involved a lot of steps. Frankly I had massive musscle failure after going up about 10 steps, so he tour guide spent a lot of time encouraging me to keep on going, while senior people effortlessly passed us by The other person on the tour was called Richard. He was traveling on some around the world tour. He was also working on some code to link in GPS with his mobile phone. He could still work, when he was travelling. Was I jealous of him travelling the world while still working on the laptop. Oh yes I was insanely jealous. There was a news story, that the Chinese authorities were going to clamp down on people making illegal maps with GPS. (I assume they worried about google maps like activity). I did toy with the idea of informing on Richard, stealing his laptop and his job. That would seem like the communist thing to do.

Thursday in Beijing

On Thursday, I couldn't be arsed to do anything in Beijing. I read my book and wondered around for a bit. Yes, I should have planned another big tourist excursion, but I was tired. Tourism is hard work! I can't remember exactly what book I was reading. I did read Mao by Clare Hollingworth during the holiday. The lesson I got from Mao was that he was a good military strategist in the guerrilla war. but he was not a good leader for peace time. I did like all the politics of the senior people in the Chinese Communist party as they positioned for seniority. Unfortunately, there wasn't a lot about Mao's later sexual exploits. I have to get another book about this. Interestingly, the biography I did read did talk a lot about his last wife's sexual adventures. I bought a copy of Mao's little red book, that I will shake at people, if they disagree with me.

Tuesday in Beijing

On the Tuesday I took the metro to Tienanmen square. I then walked up to the park where the Temple of Heaven is. This was a temple where the emperor used to pray for a good harvest. Needles to say this was very impressive. The park was very big and restful. I didn't see anyone doing Tai Chi, but I did see a number of people walking backwards. I don't know why. The road from Tienanmen square to the park with the Temple of Heaven in it was meant to have a lot of interesting side streets branching from it. They have just knocked down all the interesting streets. They seem to be planning to rebuild with newer more modern buildings for the Olympics next year. Ummm, I will be impressed if they actually get buildings up by next year. On the way to the temple of heaven, I visited a natural history museum. There was a big exhibition of dinosaur stuff. They had a model of a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating some other kind of dinosaur. This freaked out a 4 year old, who was both fascinated, but also wanted to hide. There was also an external building that contained human body parts. Thanks to the Rough guide of Beijing for telling me this. The room had glass vases with body parts in it. There were human brains and some corpses with missing and rotting flesh. There were some embryos of different sizes. There was a very large and loud party of school children. They had no problem with the human body parts, but I think they were too busy playing games to notice all the dead people in vases. Children have no appreciation of death. I was actually tempted to take some pictures. This was forbidden for obvious reasons. On the way back, I stopped off at the Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant for my supper. One of speciality dishs in Beijing is Peking duck. This was a famous restaurant, where people such as George Bush (the old) and Fedro Castro had eaten there. The restaurant looked expsensive and complicated. Too many stars. I know my place in this world. There was a fast food place at the front -- that was also expensive, but was good. I lost my Peking duck virginity there.

Forbidden city

On Monday I went to tour the Forbidden city in Beijing. This was the huge palace that the emperor of China used to live in. When I say huge, I mean it is of the order of 1 square km. There are many really cool buildings. My guide book said that you need a day to explore it. The forbidden city is at the back of Tienanmen square. Of course the really important issue was whether I went to the Starbucks coffee shop in the Forbidden city. The Chinese are sensitive about the influence of US in one of their cultural icons. I was told they were debating the issue of Starbucks in the forbidden city in some kind parliament. Look, I am sorry, but I really needed a latte. Coffee is not regularly drunk by the Chinese, so it is hard to get hold off, outside Tourist areas. I found that if I walked into the door of a cafe near a tourist site, the Chinese servers would look at me with a happy greedy face and they would excitedly offer to sell me a couple of coffee. Yes, the mark up on coffee is really good. The actual Starbucks is a small counter in a book shop. It was full of westerners getting their fix of coffee. I was talking to someone about this. They told me they couldn't find the place when they toured the forbidden city. Me, I just closed my eyes and let my coffee starved body guide by me in. I don't think the Chinese need to worry about cultural imperialism. I used the Beijing subway for the first time. It was designed with English maps and the station names were announced in English before the stop. The people on the trains just stared at the floor and didn't make eye contact, just as we do on the London tube.

Sunday evening in Beijing

The Sunday was also my birthday. It was one of those birthdays that ended with one of those dreaded 0s at the end. As my cousin noted, I had travelled a long way to hide from this fact. I was sitting in my hotel room, reading a book, when I heard a knock on the door. Some of the hotel staff had noticed it was my birthday, so they had a brought me a plate of fruit. This was pretty sweet of them, although I guess they felt sorry for me ... Obviously, I would have been happier to spend my birthday in some kind of opium den, or slumped in some exotic bar. Then this blog entry would have been about chasing the dragon. Unfortunately, opium dens no longer exist in China. I don't think China has developed enough to have crack houses yet. Still when the economy gets stronger they will exist. I did read about a opium den though. The book was "The chinatown death cloud peril" by Paul Malome. This was an action type book that had Ron Hubbard of scientology fame as a character.

Sunday in Beijing

On the Sunday I walked from my hotel to Tienanmen Square to have a look around. In principle it seemed easy, I had to walk out of the alley my hotel was in and go left and keep on walking. I passed the main Beijing railway station. I would like to say that I was freaked out by the number of people, but it wasn't so bad. I have actually walked on Oxford Rd in London close to Christmas. Man, there were a lot of people on Oxford Rd in London then. Somehow I thought I was lost. I always have problems reading the crappy maps in the Rough guides to cities. I was just staring at a map posted on a wall, when somebody helpfully sold me a bigger map to Beijing for 20 yuan (you can buy a cheap meal for that amount). I then walked 20 yards and I found that I was at Tienanmen Square. It is a really big square. I walked around it for some time. The museums at the side of the square were closed for refurbishment. There were a lot of people selling flags and other tacky souvenirs. The hassle from the street sellers wasn't any worse then in any European city I have been to, but you may be surprised that in a "communist state" that there were any people selling stuff on the streets at all. A good thing about Tienanmen Square was that there were a lot of free toilets around. Even though I didn't drink any beer (because there were no bars around), access to toilets is a big deal I am willing to admit that my political priorities may be a bit skewed, when I am happy about the free toilets in a city square that is famous for a recent massacre. I am willing to admit that my political priorities may be a bit skewed, when I am happy about the free toilets in a city square that is famous for a recent massacre.

Brainwashing

I slept badly last night. I kept dreaming that I was part of the space program to put a man (or woman) on the moon. The dream was confusing because I couldn't work out whether I was working for the Chinese or the British program. I remember that I had problems sleeping one night in Beijing. There was the constant dripping of water in pipes. Oh dear, my brain is no longer my own. China has a bad civil rights record and they banned this BLOG from being read in China. There were a lot of police and army on the streets, but they didn't see any hostility. I did see one guy handcuff some old woman on the ground at the entrance to a metro station. The woman was screaming abuse. A whole crowd of Chinese ran up to watch. I don't so mind so much being brainwashed by the Chinese government to betray secrets of western missions to the moon or mars. I feel weak that I didn't resist then pressure to be involved in any manned space flight. Frankly it is a waste of money. It just a publicity stunt. This is why the manned mission to Mars is supported by anti-science people like George Bush. Why can't the Chinese have brainwashed me to take money from the space program and to put it to the linear collider project?

Some thoughts on Taxis in China

The Internet travel business has made travelling simpler. No longer do I need to arrive in a city with no place to stay, as I have done in Mexico City and Tokyo. Expedia now link to some fairly cheap hotels. So I can usually amaze friends and colleagues by staying in some cheap hotel. I have noticed that people start to get nervous about staying in a hotel that costs under 25 pounds a night. However, I still needed to get from the airport to my hotel... I did more preparation for this trip than I normally do. I actually sort of knew the price for the taxi between the hotel and the airport. And yet somehow, I still ended up paying five times as much as I should have done. The flight from Amsterdam to Beijing took about 9 hours and I didn't sleep so well, so I was confused and waylaid by an English speaking unofficial taxi. As the driver turned off the main road down into a grubby alley, I certainly remembered the promise I had made to my mum, not to go off too much on my own while in China. The hotel was actually down the alley (because it was cheap), so thankfully I didn't get murdered. The next time I used a Taxi I got overcharged by 3 times the proper fare. Also, two of the taxi driver's burly friends got in the car as well as we set off with no explanation. When the guy next to me pulled out a 20 Yuan note, I knew he was hitching a ride, so I wouldn't have to elbow him in the head.Now that I live in Scotland I know that the English are an evil race. Somehow this evil gets passed onto to English speaking Taxi drivers. The English language is like an evil virus. The only time I payed the correct amount was in a cab driven by someone who spoke no English. That is my proof of my conjecture, that people who speak English are passing on the original sin, completed. Also, people who are experts in English grammer are always so annoying and patronizing. Perhaps the message is: only use taxis with working meters, if you don't want to spend 90% of the journey time worrying about being hit in the head and robbed. Anyway now that I have got my anti-taxi rant out, we can continue my tale of tourism in the capital of the middle kingdom. The hotel was clean and the staff were friendly. The hotel was close to the main railway station of Beijing. My room overlooked the railway tracks. One night I looked out to see 20 men pulling a locomotive with a rope. Every time they pulled it they shouted. This was passed 11:00 pm.

An introduction to my trip to Beijing

This is my record of my trip to Beijing. Just like Marco Polo's "The Travels of Marco Polo", I am not writing at the time of the trip, as I normally do. I am writing it in the comfort of my own home. There was only a single computer in the hotel I stayed, apart from the computer in my room. I couldn't understand the instructions on the computer in my room, because they were in Chinese. If I wasn't on holiday, I probably could have got it working. I did actually read "The Travels of Marco Polo" while I was in China. Hopefully, my report will be more accurate than Marco Polo's. I certainly saw no cannibals, men with tails, or heard of any tales of Noah's ark. Apparently, some people now speculate that Marco Polo never went to China, because he never saw the Great Wall of China. The scholars think that Polo made up some of his book. However, one of my guides said that he felt that the great wall of China was in a state of disrepair when Polo passed through. Perhaps, I didn't goto China. I could be making this up. My trip to China could have been a cover for me to lock myself in my flat to watch the first 4 box sets of "24".

Give the anarchist a cigarette

I am stuck in Amsterdam airport waiting for my final flight back to Glasgow. I think I managed to blow a huge amount of snot around the plane from Beijing. I picked up a wet cold before I left. I will post about my experiences in China later. As part of my holiday reading I read the book "Give the Anarchrist a cigarette" by Mick Farren. This was a sort of hippy who was around the counter culture in the late 60s. Some how he managed to survive the 70s as well, given that every story involved hime drinking a huge amount, doing LSD and snorting cocaine. Somehow he also wrote novels, edited a magazine, and was in a band called the socal deviants. He also organized a free music festival in theUK where the MC5 played. I am going to check out some of his music, but amazon tells me that some of it is collectable (that means expensive). He liked to party but he was actually very insightful about the counter culture as well. I did get a bit tired of the pages about getting wasted, but he did seem to achieve as lot. Thismay have been because he stayed away from the needle. He mentioned a band called the fuggs -- that I will also search out. Time for beer. Only another 4 hours to kill before my flight.

banned in China

You will be happy to know that this blog is actually banned in china. How did this happen I don't know. I was about to rant on how tasteless torfu was, but I couldn't get to my blog from the computer in the hotel. The torfu incident was caused by me pointing at a picture in a fast food restauramt. I thought the white things were chicken. Frankly torfu doesn't taste of anything. It seems a bit extreme that I can't post on this important topic. I am sure that in a nation of one billion people a complaint about the lack of taste of torfu (that is no doubt efficient to produce) relative to the yummy taste of chicken is an important political issue, but one of the reasons to go to China is for novel and spicy food. I did see my blog and made my first post from China. The next day I just saw a page of chinese charcters. Perhaps, I will get deported. I still have the edge.

china

So here I am in China, blogging on the hotel computer. Let us hope that the Chinese authorities let me post some comments here.

The host

Last night I watched a great DVD from Korea, called "The Host." This is a modern version of a Godzilla like story. A family battles a monster around a river, when it takes one of their children. The monster was believable, but there was a lot of slapstick humor too. This is a recent DVD release. One of the few Korean things I know about is Wonhyo the monk, so I was pleased that the film included the Wonhyo bridge.

china blues

Although I am looking forward to my trip to China, I am starting to get nervous about it. I have just bought a good guidebook for China: "The Travels of Marco Polo," so I should be well prepared. From the rough guide to Beijing, it looks as though there is a fairly high prospect to get ripped off by Taxi drivers. I can see a huge international incident, based on me getting in fight with a taxi driver, because the fare is too high by 2 pounds. Also there seems to be a lot of counterfeit money circulating in China. Also I managed to pick dates to visit, during the peak season for dust storms. Anyway the trip should be fun, but probably not so relaxing.

birthday present

If people want to get me a birthday present then I found the perfect gift.

Prereview of Grinderman CD

I am looking forward to getting the new grinderman CD. I stopped always buying the latest Nick Cave CD sometime ago. I was getting a bit bored of Cave's slow whinings. I am quite happy to listen to slow sad music. but Cave doesn't have the right voice. The one Grinderman track I have heard sounds more agressive and mean. I did buy a CD by birthday party (Cave's first band), but somehow I didn't really get it. The birthday part sound made more sense when I heard that Cave was influenced a lot by Johnny Cash. Anyway Grinderman sounds more birthday party than Nick Cave.

shoes

Ok, so I now agree that this Internet business is a good thing. I have been wearing some stronger boots, but the shoelaces typically came undone twice a day. This was getting annoying, because I had to keep stopping on the street to tie them up. Most people learn how to tie their shoes, when they are about five. I have always known that I wasn't tying my laces optimally. Somehow I wasn't trained correctly. Anyway as you get older it does become harder to ask people to show you the correct way. Anyway, I decided to end my hidden and secret shame. So I logged on and found this useful site. I now walk to work and I don't need to stop to tie my shoelaces. One of the reasons I never wanted kids was that I worried about the time when I had to teach my son to tie their shoelaces, knowing that I didn't know how to do it properly myself. The curse would be carried on for another generation. Although this shoelace tying issue may sound a bit trivial, BUT what if I was tieing my laces and someone came up behind me, and like violated me. I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week, and I would be emotionally scared for life. Also, what if I got into a fight, and I needed to accidently kick someone in the head. What if my boot fell off -- frankly it would be uncool, no matter how many Ninja butts I had just kicked. I feel like a new person. No longer do I slink around Glasgow, scared that my boots would become unravelled and I would have to bend down and do the tieing ritual. For the first time in my life I feel like a real man.

history

I have finished reading "Scotland - a short history", by Christopher Harvie. I can't say I have a much better feeling for the history of Scotland. I am not sure I take much in when I read books on plane journeys. Of course English history is much simpler. You just have to say "1066", and recall that England won the world cup in 1966. If pressed, you can always say "the Manga Carta -- did she die in vain", and then look superior in a well bred sort of way. I studied the history of the long march in China when I was at school. (OK, we also studied English castles). Anyway, what Chancellor Brown is thinking, when he is proposing to have citizen tests for new immigrants. The immigrants will know more British history than we do. That will change Britain, because ignorance of history is part of our national heritage.

Sunday

The high point of my weekend was going to be finding ASDA. In principle there is an ASDA store fairly close to me, but I still have to find the place. The executive summary of long boring slog was that I got lost and coudn't find the store. Actually, as I was walking up a deserted road I found that I needed a p*ss, so turned back into the warm arms of Tesco in the Maryhill shopping centre. I did find that I am living very close to a big fire station, a police station, and a bingo hall. When I lived in Liverpool, close to the end of Park Road, I also lived close to a police station, fire station, and bingo hall. Coincidence? I don't think so. I certainly don't plan where I live based on where the fire station in the city is. It is clear that I have not actually moved from Liverpool to Glasgow at all. Both places don't exist, and there has just been a slight rearrangement of the reality set where I live. I have read enough Philip K. Dick novels to know that it may be time to get seriously paranoid. However, I have a very Zen attitude about this. Even if I am the center of some vast alien experiment, I can still buy CDs. Also Tesco is selling 5% cans of larger for 62p, so why rock the boat? That Judas character in the first matrix film had a point, if you don't know that reality is not real, do you really care? I am disturbed that the Aliens seem to want to put a Bingo hall close to me.

chips as a way of life and death

I was talking with someone at work today. Suddenly I felt my throat tighten and I started to sweat. Unfortunately, my first thought was that I was having a heart attack, based on my medical knowledge obtained by watching Richard Pryor's DVD: Live in concert. This didn't calm me down. Anyway I kept on talking, because in my experience people get worried when you rush out of a room, mumbling about "going to emergency room." I don't think it was a heart attack, because when I discretely burped, I began to feel better. People tend to look down on "chips" as a food stuff, but I feel that the resulting indigestion has forced me to come to terms with my own mortality.

the grand tour

When I was in Florence a couple of week ago, I occasionally found myself admiring some attractive Italian woman. However, many times I found that the beautiful Italian spoke with an American accent. (Not that I was trying to chat anyone else up I might add). It must be the in thing for American chicks to spend time in Florence to try and look Italian.

To the holy shrines

I have just finished reading "To the Holy Shrines" by Sir Richard Burton. This was famous journey that Burton made to Mecca. He had to go in disguise, because westerners were not allowed in that city. Perhaps, it is still illegal for non-arabs to enter Mecca. The book was written in 1853, so we are not talking about the welsh actor. Burton is a very intriguing figure. In this trip, it took a lot of planning to get into Mecca. He had to convince everyone around him that he was not English. It helped that he spoke many languages. The wikepedia entry contains many of his other exploits, such as trying to find the source of the Nile. In these modern times, there is not such a big need for explorers. If I want to find out the source of the River Kelvin, I can just use google. Where is the magic in that? I have another book by Burton on swords. I am still reading that. Richard Burton was also used as a character in the Riverworld Saga books by Philip Jose Farmer . So now you know my interest.

Britney Spears

I am frankly tired of Britney Spears stealing my best ideas. She is probably having problems not with the booze, but controlling her telepathic abilities. My plan when my unhappiness got too much was to shave my hair off. This would show people that I was really suffering inside. Of course they would probably just assume that I had joined the National Front. Now what can I do? The only idea that comes to mind is a bit of self-flagellation but that it too common place and people wouldn't like my blood spread around the building. (When there is a cure for Aids that will be more socially acceptable). If Britney starts whipping herself in public then I will know that my mind control experiments have succeeded. Then she can stop this rehab business and come to Glasgow and hang out with me. I could take her to a local pub and use her to win Karaoke competitions. Hopefully her singing voice is up to that, otherwise she will be send straight back to LA.

Yoko Ono

Weird things happen. Occasionally various radio 6 presenters have played tracks from the latest Yoko Ono CD "Yes I'm a Witch." Yoko was either hated for breaking up the Beatles, or lampooned for her crazy music. When I listen to the CD, it does sound really good with a pleasing electronic sound. What next you may ask, is Craig going to get into James Blunt? The answer to that is NO! I would like to say that I have separated music from the celebrity life style, but I really got the CD because I am in love with Cat power who plays on some of the tracks.

Hot fuzz

I went out to see the film "Hot fuzz" last night. I was a bit worried because the reviews from UK flm critics were not particularly enthusiastic. Still I think it is a great film. There is a big shoot out at the end of the film, that the critics hated, but I thought it was pretty clever. Of course if you live on a steady diet of action movies, then a bit of shooting is always welcome. There were a lot of in jokes. I have seen Point Break but I have never seen Bad Boys II. On the other hand I mostly watch action movies from Korean and Japan these days. OK, so I need to watch Bad Boys II, and then watch hot fuzz. Life is stressful.

can

I have been listening to the first CD ("Monster Movie") that the famous German band "Can" made. Can very influencial, but they were not so successful commercially. I have to admit that I had never heard of them before this year. The sound of Can is very impressive. Normally I am never very fussed by a band's playing ability, but there is something about their sound like. Being a nerdy type of guy, there is the issue of which singer of Can you prefer. I of course vote for Malcolm Mooney, because he had to leave the band for mental health reasons. His singing style is more a shouting rant, but hey it works for. I also liked their second singer Damo Suzuk, but Mooney had the crazier singing style.

24

I have felt under a lot of stress to watch all of the box set of 24 series 5 in a week. I know that in a world of insane rulers, who are thinking about attacking Iran, my mission to watch all of the 24 in a week may seem trivial. But I felt I owed it to Jack Bauer to complete this simple task, because he defends LA from terrorists. I don't really have time to watch 24 50 minute episodes in a week, so I have been staying up later to stay on course. The next time I watch a box set of 24, I will just dedicate the entire weekend to the task. This does show a somehwat addictive streak. I am glad we didn't have box sets of DVDs when I was growing up, because it would have eaten into book learning. I feell lost now that there isn't the frantic rush to see all the episodes before blockbuster wants it back. 24

Cake or death

If you were to wonder into a record store in Glasgow, you might see a sad figure looking at the CD around the Ha section. He would rumage around looking for the latest Lee Hazelwood CD "cake or death". Many times, in many different shops he raises his bloated little head and mutters a dark curse and leaves the shop with his hands clutching the empty air. But today, in fopps in the fabulous West End of Glasgow, he finds the CD he wants in another section. He clutches it to his breast and gives a little yelp of joy, that is throttled by the startled stares of his fellow shoppers.

Florence

I went to a meeting in Florence last week. In principle it is very cheap to get from Glasgow to Florence via the airport at Pisa. The dreaded Ryanair have flights every two days. The flight from Glasgow is from Prestwick airport, that is actually over 30 miles from the centre of Glasgow. I am sure that there is a reason, but the flight left at 7:05. There is one bus to Prestwick airport that gets there early enough, but I hadn't booked a ticket. So I had to get a taxi at 4:30. There is a good site about the best airports to sleep at. I am not really sure I hade the correct reading material for visiting a famous Italian city. On the trip over I read "Firefox hacks tips and tools for next generation browsing." When I got to Pisa airport I bought a ticket to take me to Florence. When I got to the bus I found it was going to some place called Firenze. All the signs pointed to Firenze so it must be the place I thought. As the bus moved along I began to get more nervous that I was going to the wrong city. Of course I could have asked someone, but frankly it would have been embarrassing (and frankly I would have deserved a smack in the head). As I wondered around the city trying to find my hotel, I was also too nervous to ask for directions, just in case I got the helpful advice "you are in the wrong city". While I was walking around, I turned the corner and saw the cathedral. "Wow, ok I am in Florence". Whenever I see a cathedral I just think of the blood and sweat of the workers who built it while the bishops sat on their plush thrones praying to God that they never have to do manual labour. The cathedral at Florence is very impressive. I didn't go inside of course -- I feel queasy on holy ground. Later I met up with some people and we went for food. On the menu, there was chicken and fried potatoes, but I was told when in Rome, do as the Romans do, so I had some tripe instead. Tripe is eaten in Lancashire -- perhaps raw. I am not sure that tripe agrees with me. Anyway I had some Italian ice cream and that made me feel better.

Harvard

I was reading an article about another insane idea from Blair about how to fund British Universities in the online guardian. As part of the article, they listed the famous people who had studied at Harvard. The fist person on the list was William S. Burroughs. I was so tempted to leave my warm flat to find "the man" so I could bring fame to Glasgow Uni. Perhaps, I should get married so I could play the William Tell sexual game, before leaving for Mexico.

Elliot Smith

While I was web surfing today I found out that Elliot Smith had killed himself. I own a number of CDs by Elliot Smith. He played a kind of twangy melodic solo music that appeals to loner losers like me. If I couldn't find any CD I wanted in a store I would get an Elliot Smith CD, because I knew I would like it.

24

This is going to have to a be a short post. I rented the box set for "24" series 5 on Friday. I managed to watch the first 6 hours of the show yesterday, but frankly there is a limit too how long I can stare at the screen. (OK, I should have started watching it on Friday and as soon as I got out of bed on Saturday). Perhaps I have an addictive personality, but if there are 24 episodes, then frankly I must watch them as soon as possible. When something exciting happens there is a some drum beat and my heart rate goes up. I may as well call in sick tomorrow and watch the entire show. IT HAS TO BE DONE.