Sunday, October 25, 2009


I have been feeling a bit uncreative at the moment, probably caused by not reading enough fiction, and a general exhaustion.

A few years ago I was in a pub in Liverpool just off Hardman street. We met up with someone who told me he was recording his dreams for a creative writing course. I had a couple of beers, so perhaps impolitely I told him that I thought that if you wanted to be a writer you should have something to write about.

Anyway all I have is dreams at the moment. I am glad that Psychoanalysis is out of fashion. One night I had a vivid dream of being in an elevator. It stopped and as the door opened a huge black cat stared at me. The cat looked hungry, so I woke up. A little later that night I was in the same blasted elevator. This time I ended up on a floor where a person was eating someone else.

My interpretation of these dreams is based on the fact that I don't actually do anything bad, but I am just a victim. It is other people who are scheming and plotting against me. I suppose if I was in Psychoanalysis my natural and well justified paranoia would be misdiagnosed as sex mania.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

How many theorists does it take to change a light?

I was going to complain about how difficult it is to change the lights in my flat, but I think the problem is me. I have never seen this type of bulb before. Youtube is of some help.I know this is a boring post, but you don't want me sitting in darkness. After reading about this on the web, I saw that if you touch the glass, the bulb could start a fire. Just, great. Perhaps I will try to work by candle light.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

transparent boards

Because I work at a University, I sometimes get the chance to choose to either have a white or black board in my office. As a regular watcher of the American TV show numb3rs, I really want a transparant board, but I can't think of a good scientific reason for having a transparent board, so I will never get one.

Of course the real reason I want a transparent board is so that I could clean it. I would then ask visiting scientists to come into my office. They wouldn't see the board and walk straight into it and break their nose. I would then take a picture of them bleeding and then post it my victims blog. Perhaps then I would get some coverage in Physics World.

Sunday, October 04, 2009


I have just finished reading "Empire" by Niall Ferguson. I would like to point out that I wasn't reading it because I was homesick for dear old England (or Scotland). I do see tins of Heinz baked beans in the supermarket, but I don't buy them because they are not German enough.

The book was a history of the British Empire. I was interested in this because two famous TV wamkers: Clarkson and Hislop kept making remarks by our old Empire. I personally never think about the Empire at all, because it was gone before I was born. The book is an interesting study of a small country ruled a large fraction of the earth. It was interesting to see the use of technology, such as the telegraph and steam ship to help bind India to the UK. I was also impressed by the way they adapted to local custome to secure power. When the nasty Christains tried to change India, there were mutinities and much death.

Perhaps it is politically incorrect to enjoy reading about the technique of Empire building. LOst of bad things were done, there is no doubt. In a political journey, that started from a vague anarchism, moved to a misunderstood Nihilism, flirted with Marxism, and then back to the cynical arms of Nihilism. I can feel myself moving to the right. There must be some new movement, I can get involved in. I like the idea of futerism, but Technocracy may be a better match if I could be bothered.


High above Wupperal schemes are plotted.........

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Solitary fitness

I have just finished reading Solitary fitness by Charles Bronson. Bronson is a strong man, but he is in prison. He was orginally sentenced for a couple of years, but by his bad behaviour he managed to extend his stay to 28 years.

Please note that I didn't include the phrase stupidly in the first paragraph, because that would make him mad at me. There are standard excercises such as press ups, but there is a lot of hard core yoga stuff in there as well that I have never seen before. I was surprised to see a chapter on penis enlargement. I felt a bit weird reading about that, but what harm could it do.

Od course some pruddish people would say that I shouldn't be supporting a violent prisoner. I would say that if anyone does sayb that to me, I just make one phone call to my gangland connections and they will get their kneecaps broken.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Orange juice

Now I am not the kind of person to complain, but I miss not being able to buy concentrated orange huice at supermarkets in Germany. This is where I add water and get a refreshing orange drink.

I know there is no point in complaining. All my German friends will just say that the English orange juice was just sugar and chemicals. "Aren't you happy to be drinking water and real orange juice from cartons instead?" Yes, well, perhaps, but..

The next time I am in Englan I will buy a big box of tea with a proper number of tea bags in it, such as 400. I will take it to bed and cuddle it.