Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Why Keanu Reeves must die

Rather depressingly I feel that the highlight of 2008 for me is getting into graphic novels and comics. There is a big section for graphic novels in Hillhead library, so at least I am not losing any money by reading these books. Although I need to get a guide to graphic novels, as well as a seminal batman graphics novel, so Amazon will get some more of my money. One of the graphics novels I realy like is about a magician called Constantine. Constantine was born in Liverpool, so a lot of the stories are based around the UK. So when they made the Constantine film they set it in the US and got Keanu Reeves to do his robot acting thing. I sort of liked the Constantine film when it came out, but after reading the comic, I feel reverse betrayed.

books on bankers and their evil schemes

About the good thing about the financial crisis, is that I no longer need to worry that I don't understand what "fiscal derivatives" are for, now that these dumb f*ck bankers have destroyed the economy. However I have done a small amount of reading about the current credit crunch. About a month ago I read "The great crash 1929" by Galbraith. I have to admit I didn't really get to much from the book, as to why the crash in the 20s happened. It did make me laugh that at the time people kept saying "the fundamentals of the economy were firm", as the economy imploded. My cousin gave me "does anything eat bankers" by Andy Zaltman. This is book of amusing explanations of the current mess. So I am now educated, but still poor. I still have to read the book called "the tulip" by Anna Pavord. This book was about the speculation on tulips in the C18th.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

woken furies

I feel that I am really not reading much these days. However, I have managed to finish "woken furies" by Richard Morgan. The book is an action/science fiction book. I didn't fancy the book when I saw it in the library, but I really enjoyed reading the first book, so I have ended up reading the whole series. I was going to say that this book is a real page turner with no ideas. It is certainly true that the book is easy to read, but there are some interesting points abouts revolutionary movements.

new years resolution

So we are coming up to another new year again. It is time to start to make some new years resolutions. Obviously I mean new new years resolutions, rather than old new years resolutions, such as cutting down on the drinking. My new new year's resolution is to walk faster. I am frankly getting tired of being overtaken by people waking faster than me. It is particularly humilating when I am overtaken by some old person with white hair. The only time I walk faster than anyone, is when a couple is slowmy making the way down the road filled with love and enjoyment of the world. I of course snear at them, muttering "credit crunch", as I march past them.

Monday, December 29, 2008

hip flask

I am obviously well known for my temperance work in the bars and clubs of Glasgow. I have often felt that I would quite like a hip flask to store some fruit juice, so I could pass around in my crusade, or to moisten my lips at the end of a hard days work, when I am staying in some hotel. In a store in Burnley I saw a hip flask for 5 pounds. I looked at it and it looked at me and I decided I was not ready to carry a hip flask and lose afternoon to the haze. Also, it would be a nightmare to take a hip flask on an airplane. I am sure that the security people would be thrilled to see a metal flask with liquid in it.

F**k it

My brother gave me the book "F**k it" by John Parkin for Christmas. This is a self help book, based on the idea of "letting go", using the swear word as a metaphor. I read it on the train back from Burnley to Glasgow. On the section on relationships, there was a section on testing partner problems. One of the toxic questions was "will you wtill love me when I am old or cripled?" This made me think that we really need is a computer modelling program, that would allow a more definite test. Rather than your partner asking annoying questions, it would be much better to put both people in a virtual environment and really test the relationship to breaking point. Want to know whether your partner will still love you if you get sent to prison, or lose your left leg, then all you need to do is to sit in my virtual simulator, and in an about you will know the truth. Why waste a decade of your life? One possible disadvantage would be that marriage would really fall off. Of course I would be very rich, so it would not all be bad news. Since I usually say totally the wrong thing, I would build in a hidden AI into the simulator, so the AI would say the right things, while I cleaned the sheets on my bed and made sure that I had enough condoms. Now that I am feeling a bit more refreshed, I can finally start writing my own self help book called "Can't be arsed!"

Thursday, December 04, 2008

No snow storm

Well, I was actually looking forward to being snowed in. I could take some time to detox, perhaps read a few books. I kept peeking out my window through out the night, but there was no snow. In the morning, it was just cold rain. I was happy that all the nasty ice had been washed away. I am not very stable on my feet at the best of times, so I feel trapped by ice.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Snow storm

The storm is coming! The last 2 months of stress filled work has stopped me blogging. Perhaps, more importantly, I didn't hassle my landlord enough to fix my boiler. I moved into a new place a couple of months ago. The boiler never worked. There was one attempt to fix the pilot light. I should have hassled them more, but I assumed things were happening when they were not. Now the snow is coming and there is no heating in flat (apart from a small electric fire keeping my butt warm). It all seems like the penultimate scene from the film "The Day After Tomorrow", where the young kids huddle in a library as some new super cold weather comes in and tries to freeze them. I got a couple of extra cans of beans at the store, just in case I get frozen in. If the ice storm lasts longer, I will just go around to another flat in the building and eat a resident.