Saturday, April 30, 2005


They have finally taken down the scafolding around the front of my house. This has been up for a year. I have raged and complained about it, as the kids around here have played on the scaffolding and indulged their passion for rock throwing. Now it is down. Perhaps, my life will improve. I doubt it somehow. I have plucked up courage to bring my computer home at least, so perhaps I can work at home again. Hopefully they will increase the size of the fence around the building, I feel exposed at the moment. I will probably only be happy when I live in a fortified bunker deep in the country. Books and CDs from Amazon and food via the internet as well.

Sunday, April 24, 2005


As I walked into the center of Liverpool, I noticed how happy people seemed to be. It was a nice sunny day, so peolple were just happy to hang out. I grumply was on my way to see the film "downfall". This is a German film about the last days in Hitler's bunker. What is so great about the film, is that Hitler is both shown as a madman and a kind man. It is a mistake to thing that a person is evil 100 % of the time. It reminds me of a scene in the film "Brazil" where a man cleans the blood from torture from his hands and then plays with his little children. Evil is a part time job. There did seem a great deal of insanity around Hitler. These people should have got out more.

Saturday, April 23, 2005


For the last ten years or so I have felt that I have been living in an emotional vacuum. The hand on my emotional clock only staggere between grumpy and mild depression. As for love, I have heard that it exists of course and yet I still remain alone. Clearly, I am suffering some kind of truma. After much medidation on the walk into work and some fairly astute web browsing, I think I have made a breakthrough. Just before I left Edinburgh I was listening to a play on the radio. The play was adapted from a book and it was spread over a week. A man and woman were exchanging letters about suducing various people. The novel was set in the eighteen century. There was a problem with the radio so I missed some part of the last episode. One of the female characters was disgraced got TB and her eye fell out (for some reason). It sort of matters which character has problems. Was it the female seducer or a victim of the male seducer. It really matters, azs this makes a difference to the way I live my life. I think I have tracked down the book to: Les Liaisons Dangereuses (English Translation) - Pierre Choderlos de Laclos Once I have read this book, everything will become clear. Perhaps, I will start a life of depravity, or I might just develop a wry smile. On reflection the only thing I learnt from reading Sade was the importance of being able to cook, if I am imprisioned in a French Gateau. All I can do is use the microwave.