dreaming work

I have been having a lot of work related dreams recently.

Many years ago I stopped lying in bed worrying about how much work I have to do, because I can't function without enough sleep. If I don't sleep because I was worried about work, then I get less work done the next day because I am sleepy, I would lie awake and worry more. This is known as negative feedback. Anyway, these days if I start dreaming stressful work dreams, I religiously change the dream into a more sexual theme. I need need my rest and I have appetites like everyone else.

I did sleep badly on Sunday, because as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw vivid blue colours. I then spent a lot of time thinking "I must remember this for my blog." So sleep didn't come fast.In one of my work related dreams, I found myself criticizing a local colleague. This was received very badly by the people I was talking to, and I ended up backing down in a humiliated matter. Trouble, with all the dreams I have been having, I started to worry that this incident happened in the real world, and the dream was just an echo of that.

Love Cast Out All Evil

Friends can you remember the time before the internet, when the only way to find new music was to walk around a record shop. I used to buy CDs or tapes that looked cool, but then I wouldn't know much about the artist. In some sense this was a better time, it does effect my judgement when I find out about an artist, rather than just listening to their sounds.

When I used to live in Kentucky I found a CD by Roky Erickson, and it was loud explosive and awesome. After that I would look out for CDs, and buy then whenever I found them. He was never that prolific though.

With the Internet I now know of Roky's rocky history with mental illness. I did try to listen to the "13th floor elevators" the famous band he was in during the 60s, but I didn't get too much into it. However, I really like the electric jug playing that you can see them play on Youtube.

Anyway Roky Erickson has a new album out and it is great! I have been listening to it as I walk to work. Forget the Guardian review

On Jazz

I probably own less than 10 Jazz CDs, I wouldn't say I dislike Jazz. Occasionally I have come across a part of Jazz concert on TV and I have been put off by the long solos. Too much technique

There have been odd exceptions. In that I really like John Coltrane, but mostly I have not really tried to get into Jazz.

I was amused one time to hear that Alistair Cook who did the letter from America slot on the radio5 for many years tell a story, about playing a Jazz record to his mum. She burst into tears, because she regarded Jazz as for criminals and drug fiends. (This was before pop and rock I might add). This struck me as cool. There is a Jazz connection to the wildness of the Beat generation of course. But while their life style was wild, I was unconvinced by the music.

After having my musical tastes broadened by the freakzone radio show, I found that I like Free Jazz. Some people think it is chaotic, but that is what I like about it. The video below is by Ornette Coleman (Dancing In Your Head). Its groovy.

The Romantic Manifesto

I needed a book while I washed my clothes. So the last couple of sessions I have been reading "The Romantic Manifesto" by Ayn Rand.

The start of the blurb at the back of the book goes like: "in this beautifully written and brilliantly reasoned book, Ayn Rand throws a light on the nature of the art...." So you can see that humility is not one of her strong points.

I do like that she tried to write a philosophical novels (although she doesn't like the term). She is very keen on plot. After reading her discussion of music, I wouldn't try to introduce the Fall to her.

I would like to just say that I view "Atlas shrugged" as an evil book. In this Southpark agree with me.

my secret shame

Although I am (sort of) enjoying learning German, one problem is that we are expected to speak about the past and our feelings. Both of which I am not very good at, even if using English.

Today was a low point. I was asked to tell the class about famous building in the UK. I would like to point out, that although I was technically born in Southampton, I grew up in the North West of England, so that is where my sympathies lie. I start sweating when I am in the South of England (and that is not because it is hotter there) and I feel paranoid.

So when I started looping through the famous buildings of the UK, my mind went blank, and I could only think of famous buildings in London. Oh, the shame of it. Will I ever be able to walk down a street in Manchester again? The teacher kept saying can you mention any famous buildings outside London, but only a list of London buildings came from my mouth.. I suddenly had an inspiration and said the name of famous building associated with satanism, called Old Trafford. Oh the shame of it! Will I ever be able to walk down a street in Liverpool again?

I felt like Judas. The London mafia has brainwashed me.

Japanese festival in Dusseldorf

Last Saturday I went to the Japanese festival in Dusseldorf. The fstival was held on the bank of the Rhein close to the Aldstadt. There was a big firework display that I didn't stay for, because it didn't start to till late.

The festival had a lot of stalls that sold Japanese stuff and food. The food was a bit disappointing. They had to serve a lot of people, so there wasn't a sushi chef there, just the prepared boxes. I did get to drink a glass of Saki, so that was good. There were a lot of people wearing Japanese costumes. There were also a lot of Goths wearing black, but they could have also been characters from Manga. Who could tell. There were a number of people wearing Samurai swords. Perhaps they were fake, but I don't think so. I don't see that the British police would have been too happy to see swords at a UK festival.

An Englishman's home is a castle

I don't want to sound paranoid but I don't like answering the door, unless I know an appointment has been made. It is more likely to be someone who is trying to sell me something.

So I was not best pleased to hear the bell. I went to the door and pressed the intercom button. This was a good opportunity to try some German, so I said "yes". No response. So I thought good. A minute later the bell went again and then even worse there was a knock on my door of my flat.

I opened the door. A man and a woman stared at me. The man started talking to me in English. They were some kind of missionaries, who wanted to send me to some Bible school. I was just going to get my horse whip, when I remembered that I didn't have one. I did think of inviting them in to have a theological discussion on the balcony. "Yes that is an interesting point. Just let me get hold of your legs..."

After a short conversation I ended up with a book that I didn't want. The guy was very persuasive, so I have the horrible suspicion that they will come back to talk to me about it. Perhaps they will help me win the Templeton prize.

If you are reading this and you are thinking I am some kind of anti-social freak, or the mental illness meter has swung from creative and different to social misfit, because I don't like opening the door. I would like to point out that I am just applying a SPAM filter to the people coming to my door. I also refer you to. Safety first!

a projection of a dream

Last night although I had drunk enough beer to stop me dreaming I had a dream in the early morning. I was talking to a well known physicist about physics. He wanted to make some point about and he pulled out a remote control and used it to project a paper onto the wall.

What would have Freud thought about my dream? I can't even found some great company to produce small portable data projectors, because Amazon already sells them. This is what happens when you spend too much time online, your dreams are inspired by Amazon.

The girl with the dragon tattoo

I had a lot to do last weekend, so it was a mistake to start reading "The girl with the dragon tattoo" last Sunday. There seem to be a lot of crime writing coming from Sweden. First there was Wallander, and now there are the books by Stieg Larson, and I care about people with names such as Lisabeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist.

There are two more books in this series that I will have to read fairly soon.

How to study in college

I have finished reading "How to study in College" by Walter Pauk. The book contained a lot of useful information about how to study at University. The chapter on taking notes in lectures was interesting, particularly when I failed to understand my notes from last Friday's German class. Perhaps I will start using the Cornell system for notes.

Certainly there is more to college than beer and cheerleaders.

comic timing

I was given the "Mock the week: this years book" as a present

at Christmas. I enjoyed reading some of the jokes, although

they were a bit cruel at times. It reminded me of the

"famous" discussion about a joke on "Mock the week" that was

on Newsnight. The video shows the importance of comic

timing.

BBC trust

Below is my written submission to the BBC trust to try to stop them closing my favorite radio station down.

I am against the closure of radio6! At the moment I almost exclusively listen to radio 6 to learn about new music.

The majority of the output from Radio 1 could be covered on a commercial radio station. Apart from John Peel and a few other shows, radio 1 has a poor record of producing cutting edge music shows. Although I understand why Chris Moyles is on radio1, I don't see how his show is consistent with the BBC's new strategic principles. It is difficult to believe that the specialist shows on radio6 could transfer to radio1 and not be diluted and changed.

Many of the shows on radio6 could not survive in the commercial sector, however they do enhance the culture of the UK. New music is also important to the economy, for example by people downloading music and going to gigs, so it useful if there is national station that informs people of new sounds.

Please don't close radio6.

I think you will be doing more than "Reducing the BBC offer in pop music radio by closing 6 Music" Radio 6 puts out mostly specialsed innovative music, rather than just "pop music". The station is not a clone of radio 1. It provides musc that is not available in the commercial sector.

Although I occasionally use lastfm, there is no substitute for a knowlegable expert presenting a show.

Please don't shut 6music down.

Blue Bamboo

It has been a beautiful day in Wuppertal. The sun was bright, but there was a cool breeze to keep everyone cool. I sat on my balcony and watched the wind play with the leaves of the trees in the forrest.

I wanted to go to the park, but I get too depressed. It would have been full of people playing games and eating picnics. But I would have felt like an outsider, if I had walked amongst them.

I finished off "Blue Bamboo" by the Japenese writer Osamu Dazai. This was a collection of fantasy tales. The book started and ended with a stories about a family of five children who amuse themselves by writing a story. The story was a chain, with each part being written by one of the children. Each part of the story reflected the personality of the author. The stories were very warm, even when the subject matter was a bit bleak. The stories were so well written, that they filled me with me joy (a rare event).

When I looked up Osamu Dazai I see a life of pain and suicide. Today's joy died on a wikepedia page, Perhaps I will order another book by Osamu Daza, such as no longer human. That will cheer me up.

The 4-day work week.

I have just finished reading "the 4-hour work week" by Timothy Ferriss. The book was about how the author automated his business so he only needed to spend 4 hours a week working. The rest of his time he lived abroad and leaned new skills such as dancing or languages.

I liked some parts of the book. I liked the idea of mixing leisure and work, rather than putting off life until retirement. The idea that a business doens't have to keep growing. At some stage once the business is providing an adequate income, then a decision can be made to make it easy to run, rather than getting a lot more difficult customers, to get a bit more money.

However, there were a number of things I didn't like about the book. Ferriss's business was some kind of supplement for either althletic performance or better study skils. In fact he switched between them with out change, as far as I can tell. So my best guess is that his product is a placebo. When he was at University, if he got bad grades, he would go to the TA and ask them about his grades for a couple of hours, until he wore them down. Then the TA would be too scared to give bad grades again. So he is a wheeler and dealer type of guy.

Also he recommends not reading much. Look Tim dude, what did they fu*cking teach you at Havard. I like reading.

dreams

I didn't drink any alcohol on Sunday, so I had some strange dreams. I started off by taking opium in an opium den. It didn't effect me until I went to sleep, and the the drug and smoke hit me. Then I woke up. Later that night, I had a dream that I was traveling in time. I would travel to the present to do chi**2 minimization fits. Then I woke up. At the very least, I will cut down on the number of times I listen to Sherlock Holmes on the BBC iPlayer.

Last night I was sleeping well, until I had a dream about getting a message on facebook that one of the people I grew up with was dead. I woke up in despair. As my thoughts cleared, I realised since I had not had a couple of shots before I slept, so it must have been a dream.

These bad dreams mean I am not sleeping well. I feel terrible all day. What would Freud say about my dreams? Who can tell, he would probably be too annoyed with me for telling him "he was wrong, wrong, so wrong."

Hair

If you saw me today, you would have seen me stop at every possible place at work and admire myself. Perhaps I was being vain, but I was just happy I had done something I had been putting off for a couple of months. My hair was getting wilder and wilder, and I was worried that I was beginning to look like being a mad scientist. Madness I can deal with, but I don't want to look mad.

There are many challenges in living in a foreign country. Getting a hair cut is definitely one of the biggest challenges. What if I had gone into the barbers and I had came out with a perm, because of my poor German!

Today I decided I was going to get a haircut. I had seen a barbers (Frisseur) close to the main supermarket. It looked a bit posh to me, but when I looked in the shop, the man cutting the hair had the physique of a man who likes beer, sausage and schnapps. After waiting outside I picked up courage and went into the shop. The barber said "Was?", I replied "Haar schneiden bitte", and he pointed me to the chair, while he finished off cutting the hair of his current customer.

When it was my turn to have my hair cut. I started with "Tut mir leid, mein Deutsch ist sehr schlect" and then started to point to my hair. He said "Ja". How rude I thought. Anyway he cut my hair and talked to his friend. I payed and left.

I don't have high standards on these things, but I don't like the hair cut too much. My hair is a bit thick. However, since he used a cut throat razor on me, I was happy. I had to make sure I didn't start drooling when I saw the razor in his hand. One day I will my own.

On love

Some random thoughts on love.

At the moment Friday is my busiest day at work. Last week I was rushing to get some breakfast at the cafe close to my office. Two people who were clearly in love got in my way. It was all secret smiles and shared happiness. OK, fine, if you are in love, I am happy for you, but don't do it in front of the food, because some of us have 15 minutes to get a sandwich. Perhaps, I should have said "fucking schnell", rather than let it irate it me all week.

On the TV there are many adverts for online dating. (they get more pornographic later at night). There is one with a woman who is telling the TV how happy she is with her new partner. As part of the advert it shows her jumping up and down on a trampoline and staring at her new partner. Ok, the Internet tells me that jumping up and down on a trampoline is good for fitness. However, I would be scared if I went round to a woman's house and she starts jumping up and down on a trampoline and staring at me. I would say a quick "bye bye freak", before I run to the garden gate before she jumps on me.

I am not a great fan of Salmon Rushdie. I don't rate his book "Midnight's Children", so I will be pretty pissed if he gets the nobel prize for literature. The attached picture might me laugth though. She's going to dump him (or perhaps already has). I know I am being mean, but there it is.

A visitation of the plague

I got up this morning and saw the day was sunny. I thought perhaps a stroll through the park might be in my future, rather than turning on my computer and trying to work.

Instead I decided it was the perfect day to read "A visitation of the plague" by Daniel Defoe. I didn't read the back of the book correctly, because it described the book as an imaginary reconstruction of the great plague of London. I thought it was a real account, but according to wikipedia it was made up, because he was a child when the plague hit London.

I particularly liked a scene when he comes up to crowd around a woman, who saw an angel in the clouds. Defoe just sees a cloud with the sun on it. With so many people dying of the plague I don't begrudge a bit of hysteria.

Intellectual mastery of nature

A colleague helped me move flats in Liverpool. As he was helping me carry bags of books out to his car he asked the very strange question: "if you buy books, shouldn't you actually read them." He was in particular referring to the two volume set: Intellectual mastery of nature by Jungnickel and McCormmach. These two books are about the history of physics in Germany, Austria and Switzerland in the nineteenth century.

Now that I am living in Germany (until August at least), I felt that it was time to read the books. Last weekend I finished volunme I "The Torch of mathematics 1800-1870).

Although the two books are a scholarly study, the first volume was full of stories about how physics developed in Germany. At first there was very little research, but by persistence of the Profs managed to increase the funding of labs and get more students. The job market was even harder than today. The astronomers were always well funded because of their miltary applications, rather than for producing pretty pictures for the masses, as they do today (bastards).

another old post

So how did i spend my holiday in Portugal? I mostly wandered around the beach area and read books. There would be breaks for food and coffee of course. (Beer in the late evening of course).

The first book I read was "The Ultimate Good luck", by Richard Ford. This has been on my bookshelves for many years. It was a story about a man and his wife trying to get the wife's brother out of a Mexican jail. There was quite a big body count. Smoking a lot of dope clouded and distorted their minds

Next I moved onto reading the hanging garden by by Ian Rankin. I must have read most of the Rebus novels, but I had been saving this story for a special occasion. There was a gang land war and Rebus's daughter was run over.

I picked up a collection of three early Philip K Dick novels, that I not read before. The books were: the man who japed, Dr. Futurity, and Vulcan's hammer. The stories were not as confusing and paranoid as much of Dick's later work. The Dr Futurity novel reminded me a of stories by A E Van Got, because there was a lot of time travel. The book called Vulcan's hammer was the most paranoid of the books, with conspiracies inside conspiracies.

Last week I listened to a radio program about Thomas Paine. This motivated me to actually read my copy of "Rights of Man". This was Paine's book defense of the french revolution (with a bit about the American revolution as well). It was a vigorous argument, and gave the best argument for abolishment of the House of Lords.

Trouble is, with all that reading I didn't fully relax, even after a full week away.

sony book reader

Another old post just uploaded.

Every time I go on holiday I worry about the amount of books I have. What if I have nothing to read? As a result I always end up with a heavy bag. I then panic on day three of the holiday, that I am going to run out, so I try to buy yet more books. I now own a Sony E-reader. I had only read one book with it before, but I really fell in love with it on this holiday.

The books I read were: Dracula by Bram Stoker, The Chemical History of a Candle by Michael Faraday, A princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

It the size of a thin paperback book. It is much easier to read than a laptop screen. I had no problem reading it in sunlight.

It can be used to read PDF and word documents. I read about 20% of a PDF bokk on data intensive computing (4th paradim) that was a tribute to james Grey (the famous SQL guy, who was lost at sea recently). It is not very good at graphs. The paper I downloaded from thbe physics archive was a bit mangled, because most of the figures were trashed.

The e-reader stores the last page that was read. It makes reading a book cool, because it does looks as though you are playing a video game.

My main problem with it is the price of the e-books. There are special on-line stores, but the books always seem expensive. I get most of my books from amazon second hand market sellers. I am sure the price will come down. At the moment I pay a lot more in postage.

On the books I read, I have seen many versions of Dracula, so it was interesting to read the original. I liked the way it was made up of journal entries of the different characters.

The book by Faraday on the candle was a transcription of some lectures he had given. He used an explanation of a candle burnt to introduce some ideas about chemistry and the scientific method. he made it exciting, especially when you think that what he talking about was new knowledge, rather than textbook stuff.

old Portugal post

I found some old blog postings from holiday around March 18th of this year. Enjoy....

Last week I was feeling tired and burnt out. I had not had a proper holiday for over a year, so I decided that it was time for some R and R. After some investigation on the Ryanair web site, I decided to fly to Faro in Portugal from the Dusseldorf-Weeze airport.

I am still slightly confused as to whether the Dusseldorf-Weeze airport is even in Germany. It is not that close to Dusseldorf. It takes over an hour to get from Dusseldorf to Weeze. Still a holiday is about the process of changing routines and not working. My flight was at 7:00 in the morning I so spent the night in a small hotel next to Weeze railway station (this losing any savings from booking via Ryanair)

Weeze is a small town. Somehow it seemed cuter than most German cities i have been to. The use of concrete was more elegant. I arrived in Weeze after 8:00, so most shops were closed. I decided that I should do a quick tour of Weeze, partly for my own education and to provide new fresh information for this blog, and definitely not as a quest to find beer. Eventually I found an open supermarket. As I looked at the alcohol section I though "this is what hell must be like". There were many bottles of beer, but no can or bottle openers. This is very green, but kind of annoying when you don't have a bottle opener back in the hotel. The clerks in the store were surprised to see me shaking my fist in the air and shouting "why me God", after I found plastic bottles of alcohol free beer on the shelves. After further inspection I found real beer in plastic bottles close by, so my holiday could start.

Birthstone

I wanted to spend the weekend learning hypnosis, but instead I spent a lot of time reading Birthstone by DM Thomas. This is a book I have carried around with me for many a long year. First off it was a very well written by someone who knows how to how to float sentences onto the page. It was a strange mix of realism and magic. The book was written from the perspective of a woman, but since the author was a man, the female perspective involved liking a lot of kiny sex.

CKM dreams

I had a dream about the CKM matrix last night. And not in a good way! A good dream about the CKM matrix would be me at some kind or orgy. As I watched the flowing of the flesh, suddenly I would see a pattern emerge and I would understand why the matrix has the form it has.

I am thinking about the guy who discovered the structure of the benzene molecule. He had a dream about a snake. The snake tried to bites its tale, so when he woke up he came up with the idea that the benzene molecule was a ring.

The dream I had was me sitting in meeting, trying to explain my interest in a CKM matrix so that I would get my name on a paper. The other authors on the paper were skeptical, and I was humiliated. That is why it was not a good creative dream. I was just being a careerist. (And no orgy either).

Philip K Dick

I am a big fan of the author of Philip K Dick, so I picked up a copy of "Selected literary and philosophical writings" in a UK bookshop sometime ago. The book was a collections of essays, book reviews, and other nonfiction writings. Dick was a novelist, so his most important work is contained in his stories. It was, however, interesting to read his essays. He was always very interested in philosophy as well as all forms od science fiction.

He had a plot idea for the TV series of "mission impossible", that made me think he would have been a great script writer for the prisoner TV series. He didn't make much money until near the end of his life -- which was a shame.

In 1974 Dick had some kind of religous vision. After that his writing got even weirder and many people thought that he had gone insane. Reading his later essays, I did think that I wanted to see the work of the old Dick. Of course in 1971, when he got burgled, he made up a list of suspects that included the FBI and himself, so sanity was never one of his strong points.

I see that his later journal of crazy writings (The Exegesis) is going to be published next year. But will it help me tame this reality.

letters to a young contrarian

I seem to be going through a phase of reading a lot of Christopher Hitchen books. I have just read his book "letters to a young contrarian". I will show my lack of understanding of his book by saying it is about how to live a radical life. I now understand Hitchens support for the second war in Iraq. He is not one to flinch from unpopular decisions. His prose style is very classical.

I really enjoyed the book. His main flaw is on the cover of the book a cigarette burnt down and his second rate writing buddies: Martin Amis and Salmon Rushdie.

On death

There is double glazing in my front windows. Yesterday a bee got stuck in between the two panes of the double glazing. I don't know how it got there. I was disturbed because the bee was trapped and I would have to watch it try to survive. I watched it search in vain for an exit. I didn't have the tools to open the windows to let it out. What could I do. Was this some kind of sign from God?

Anyway I went back to thinking about glueballs and completely forgot about the bee, until I started writing this post.

nuts

When I told people I was going to live in Germany for a bit they were worried that I would indulge in too much Bier and sausages. I hardly eat Wurst, so one out of two is not bad. What I do eat a lot of is peanuts. I am almost at the addict stage. Well I actually only eat 3 or 4 tins per week. My favourite brand is "Ja", because it is cheap and salty. "Ja" is some supercheap brand in Germany. I also drink a brand of "Ja" tea that is 2 Euro cheaper than other types of tea.

Anyway I will be OK as long as salt is not bad for me.

Mars bar paranoid

I was watching German TV. There was an advert that showed some Germans watching or listening to their national team play in the football world cup final, through the years. The advert claimed that there was always one tradition that Germans held to when they watched the world cup final. Apparently they all liked eating a Marsbar. This seemed a bit unlikely to me. Perhaps this is a subtle dig against the English national football team. The only reason they could be enjoying a mars bar, because that think that England football team will never reach a cup final.

Long German train journey

I was at a meeting in Regensburg yesterday I took a train from Regensburg to Wuppertal today. The journey took about 7 hours. On the plus side there is more room on a German train. However there was a delay of 40 minutes. It seemed just like a journey on an English train, because we stopped for about an hour, because of some problem with the track.

On the train there was a group of attractive young women in matching t-shirts who had a box of things to sell. Although I could have confused the situation, because of my bad German. At some stage a packet of Durex's landed on me, and the women made some kind of funny speech to her friends. Terribly exciting. I am now much more motivated to learn German, so I can understand, and respond better to situations like this.

On the train I finally read "The museum of doubt" by James Meek. This book has been in my pile of unread books for many years. It was a surrealist set of stories. It suited my mood, because I was feeling weary because of only getting 4 hours of sleep.

The Cameron Delusion

On the long train journey from Wuppertal to Regensburg I read "The Cameron Delusion" by Peter Hitchens. Peter is the brother of Christopher Hitchens who is currently trying to get the Pope arrested.

I enjoyed the book, but I don't agree with many of the things that Peter believes. He is very keen on the Monarchy and the house of Lords and fan of this nasty christainity business. He wants to leave the EU and keep nuclear weapons. Perhaps typically he gave up Marxism, and then transferred his affections to the church.

However, I did agree with much of what he says.

Peter really hates the conservatives and Cameron.

spring

Below is an another exciting picture of the view from my window. When I first moved in all the trees had leaves and I felt at one with mother nature. I used to like to watch the wind play with the trees. As winter came, the trees lost all their leaves and I was left with a view of a road and maybe some allotments.

But the cycle of life continues, the picture shows the first sprouting of buds that will give me back my ocean of green leaves. I will be able to dance naked on my balcony again.

a short walk

unday is pretty boring in Germany. Nothing is open. During the long winter I stopped going out of my flat for the entire weekend. Now that spring is here, I thought I might go for a short walk.

There is long road that leads into the building where I live. There is a turn off, that I only see on the rare times I get a Taxi home. Today I thought I would investigate the road. I just found that 50 yards after the turn off the road ended at a large sinister house

I did learn that the painter Hans Von Marées lived close to where I live because there was a sign. If I had know who he was I might have been able to guess that because his second name is close to the street name.

A history of modern Britain

The few people who read this blog must think I am terribly homesick because I keep reading about English history, while I live in Germany. The way things are going however, I will be back in the UK in August to sign on the dole.

I have just finished reading "A history of modern Britain" by Andrew Marr. The book was about the history of the UK from 1945 to about 2007. Great stuff. I did wonder what I was doing when some of the events happened -- probably writing code. Marr doesn't like shopping for some reason. Also I was surprised to see a reference to the Velvet Underground band in the book -- perhaps Marr was trying to be cool.

I actually got the book because I had WH Smiths vouchers, and there wasn't that much bigger choice of books in the Burnley store.

German politics today

I am slowly reading A History of Modern Britain by Andrew Marr. I feel slightly guilty about learning about Britain when I a living in Germany.

However, I have read the book German politics today by Geoffrey Roberts. This books gives a good overview of all aspects of politics in Germany. So now I know a little bit about "the basic law".

I also learnt a new German word: politikverdrossenheit That means alienation from politics. That's me, vote evil Tory or failed new labour.

Bad Science

I was given some WH Smiths tokens for Christmas. One of the books I purchased with the token was "Bad Science" by Ben Goldacre. Goldacre writes a column in the Guardian that debunks the poor and misleading use of scientific arguments. All the examples are in medicine or nutrition, not surprising because Goldacre is a doctor.

The book made me very angry. In particular what happened in South Africa, where people were told to take vitamins rather than anti-AIDS drugs. There is a also a chapter on the MMR hoax, where the Blairs as usual show they are too stupid to understand evidence, but clever enough to exploit their children in an autobiography.

On a similar theme I was happy to see that Simon Singh had won a libel case brought against him by the British Chiropractic Association.

On Suicide

I pulled a bunch of unread books from a crate in my office and took them home. On top of a pile of books was a book by the philosopher David Hume called "On Suicide". The front cover had the quote: "I believe that no man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping". Thanks Penguin, I was unhappy and depressed, so having this book stare at me didn't really cheer me up.

However, when I read this short book, I found that only one short chapter was about suicide. The other chapters were on ethics and aesthetics. The chapter on sucide was all about whether God minds whether a person kills themselves. Frankly not something I would worry about.

Easter in Germany is boring. Most of the shops close and everything is pretty dead. Given that they close the shops on Sunday it is a long weekend.

I usually work for 2 hours on Sunday morning. I then eat and watch the A-team (in German) on the TV. Today, there was no A-team, just some film about some dude called "Moses". This was some kind of sword and sandals film. Of course there are other channels. I could have switched over to watch Black beauty. Grrr. Anyway the A-team came on later, so all was well.

Indestructable Euro notes

This past six months I have washed my hands more than any peroid in my life. This was partly because of all the concerns about bird flu, but also I felt a bit dirty, because I have to handle Euros all day.

There has been a lot of talk recently about the fate of the Euro. This is based on the problems of Greece's debt. However, I am pleased to report I have some evidence that the Euro is stronger than many people think.

I pulled a clean pair of jeans from the wardrobe. I found a 10 Euro note in the pocket. The note had survived being washed. The occasions I have left British money in the pockets of trousers that have been washed, I stare at a crumbled up piece of paper and think of what type of lager I could have got with this money.

Given the strength of Euro I feel much more European. Perhaps I will start wearing a beret. Also perhaps I should start to learn how to usa a bidet. I have been too embarrassed to ask anyone how to use one, but thanks to youtube, I can get all the facts.

space

Here is an exciting action packed video of my hotel room in Portugal. This cost me 12 pounds a night. It was huge. In fact when I got back to Germany, I was depressed because my flat here is 2 to 3 times smaller than the hotel room. Then I remembered the reason why I live in a small flat is because it is easy to clean.

pool

Below are some photographs of the hotel pool in Portugal. I only saw 2 people in the pool over the full week. Early Sunday morning I did hear a lot of splashing and shouting. Party animals I thought. There was a pool side bar, so I did vaguely think about spending all day drinking there. But the lack of people would have made it depressing. (Drinking all day would be bad of course).

Sinister concrete fountain

Here is a picture of what I think is a fountain that was close to my hotel in Portugal. This is not exactly a wishing well. Some water comes out of steel grill. What is the point? It was not as if the water was used to help plants grow

Portugal

Somewhat confusingly I write this post from Portugal. I am staying in a cheap hotel in a town called Portimao. It is very touristy area, but has a certain style about it. I have been here for a couple of days now. I have just been lazing around and reading. The weather has been warm, but not really hot, however I am walking around in a t-shirt and shorts. I am not totally warm, but it is a holiday (and the thing to do if you grew up in the North-West of England).

It is off seaon at the moment, so the place is empty. There are lots of places to drink here, but I don't like being the only person in a bar. Every night there are football games on the TV. For example, yesterday ManU versus Liverpool. After that there was a big European game. So the sound of sport is played out in every empty bar.

Although it a famlity type area there are a couple of sex shops and a strip bar. Perhaps the strip bar is full of people in the evening.

no spare time for Wolfenstein

This is not a science blog, but I was amused by this link. I did see that paper on the Wolfenstein parameterization of the CKM matrix, but I decided from the abstract that it was probably crap, so I ignored it.

Of course after climategate it could be that I am a narrow minded scientist, but there are only so many hours in the day and many more worthy things to worry about. In the unlikey event of it being an important result, I am sure someone will let me know.

a fighter's heart

I just finished reading "a fighter's heart" by Sam Sheridan. Sam tells stories of him training in various martial arts. He starts off training in Muay Thai, but he also worked on his ground work in Brazil (where else). He also hangs out with some dog fighting people.

He also spent some time meditating, but he was bored by that, and only got into it just before he left.

I liked the parts about failure the best. He was sparring in a boxing gym, and the opponent He had a bad injury to his ribs that had stopped him training, but he was better. His opponent hit him in the ribs and he freaked and totally lost the fight. He had a lot of negative dialogue where he started worrying, and he lost focus. This used to happen to me all time. (If I every fought Sam I would train a lot of body shots to the ribs, but maybe he is smart and actually has problems with getting punched in the head. I know that this makes me sound like a bad person, but this is the way fighting works).

He did seem to get injured a lot. I felt sorry for him. He went to train in Brazil, but he injured his shoulder, so he couldn't train.

Nice try Tory, but I still hate you.

I finally understand what it means to be bought off by politicians. Download speed is an important quality of life issue. However being able to download a movie from Itunes in a minute will not make up for being under Tory rule. Even living in Germany, I am starting to feel ill with the idea that they will be back.

This means this

I have just finished reading "This means this, this means that a user's guide to Semiotics". I have been listening to Baldi on the BBC iplayer. Normally I hate priests, but Baldi is also a lecturer in semiotics, and he solves crimes. I wanted to be cool as well.

The book had a picture or some banner text on every page with a couple of paragraphs discussing it. For example, see the picture attached. Does this picture represent my feelings about Semiotics? But perhaps, if you knew that I was a particle physicist, the picture might represent my goal of the unification of forces to one single force. Maybe it is my view of string theory? Or more likely I just copied it from the Internet to make this post longer without having to write more text. This post must be enough to make me Prof. of Semiotics.

Godzilla

Yet more snow in Germany! While I was watching TV, I saw a TV program that asked what is your favourite between the American and Japanese version of Godzilla. They then illustrated the question by showing Godzilla destroying the Sydney opera house. How much more international can you get?

in the beginning was the command lin

I can't help feeling that Neal Stephenson is one of us. Stephenson is a famous science fiction writer I have just read "in the beginning was the command line". This is a short book about operating systems and computers from a users perspective. Although it is over 10 years old, I really enjoyed reading it. Most of it is still relevant

One point that book makes is that people don't buy Microsoft windows for rational reasons. Somehow it is a bizzare group delusion. Once that dream is over Microsoft will have problems. (I am not sure how getting a "free copy" of windows with every PC you buy, effects the group delusion.)

Nasty Torys are almost back...

Although I have not bothered to vote in the last few elections, I am starting to dread the next election when those nasty conservatives will get back into power. It is difficult to describe how much Thatcher and her cronnies were hated. This recession has been bad, but somehow this time around the goverment actually did something, rather than say "when my father didn't have a job, he got on his bike to find one."

The omens are not good. We are back in dispute with Argentina about the Falklands. Perhaps there will be another war once Cameron gets into a difficult patch after a few years in office.

I was sad to see that Micheal Foot had died. He was the last of the generation of a particular type of politician and journalist. I remember how the Sun attacked him for wearing a donkey jacket at a memorial. So Murdoch has won again, we are only allowed people like Blair or Blair clones like Cameron as leaders.

Since this post is turning into a bit of a rant, I really am unhappy about the closure of the 6music radio station. As per usual it is a Tory based attack on culture. 6music plays lots of interesting music, it is really sad to have it taken from us. I have joined the relevant facebook group and I will write a strong letter to the BBC trust. That shit Murdoch!

Just to lighten the mood, the video is of Bono falling off a stage.

Cryptonomicon

I once read a memoir by some guy who was on the outer fringes of the beat movement. He worked in a book shop, and perhaps inevitably he had some problems with alcohol. He wrote he was an optimistic person, because he started reading "War and Peace" in his middle 20s, but he finished it in his 30s.

I sort of feel the same thing about the book Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. I am pretty sure I started reading this when I was living in Liverpool over 3 years ago. I finished it this afternoon. I has forgotten some of the characters, during my long period of not reading it. I think I stopped reading when one of my favorite characters got addicted to morphine (Iam romantic like that).

The book is very hacker friendly. It has not dated that badly, apart from a section where he stores some data onto a floppy disk. If I was more keen I would have played with the perl script included.

I did enjoy one section, where one of the mathematicians writes down an equation for the amount of sex he needs to work effectively.

carnival

So it is start of Carnival time around here in Germany. I am still slightly confused what this involves. There is some tradition that women are allowed to cut men's ties off and they have to kiss the man. This almost gave me a third reason to wear a tie, beyond funerals and job interviews. Apparently now some women only cut a man's tie off, but they don't give a kiss. I blame feminism.

Below are some carnival related songs. Tim put me on to Jackson Frank.

dreams and strokes

This freezing winter has meant that I have not really been out much this year so far. There has been to much ice and snow on the road for me to want to explore. So I go to work, come home and maybe go to the supermarket when I am out of vitals and beer. So I just dream.

However last night I dreamt I had a small part in a film. I was a bit worried that I didn't have a script for my part. But I mostly seemed to go into hotels for breakfast with people. At the end of the dream, I found out that there was no script, but I was going to read the part from a prompter. My acting role was in German, so I think I was worried about the German test I did today.

However, in my dream was a friend I grew up with. He had a stroke and was having problems talking, because of the stroke. I like this person, but I didn't seemed to bothered by his illness. (In real life they are healthy). All day I felt guilty about my treatment of my friend in the dream, but then I thought if I didn't actually do anything to harm him (apart from the binge drinking I did with him in my teens and early 20s), then perhaps I didn't do anything wrong. I would have forgotten about the dream, if I had not forced myself to remember it, so I would write about it. I have felt bad all day, because of the guilt my friend exposed me to, and this is probably the reason I have failed my German exam. I will send an email to him, to try and get the bastard to apologize to me.

On tea

Sometimes I am just such a slob. I was happy to find a reasonable priced variety of Tea at my local supermarket. I was getting sick of paying 3 Euros for a packet of 50 teabags. I am happy now that I can buy 50 Ceylon-Assam tea bags made by "Ja" for under 1 Euro.

Unfortunately there was an essay on tea in the Guardian, so perhaps I should explore different types of tea, and perhaps even clean my mug more often. I like the idea that a cup of tea was is a comfort. Perhaps that is why I drink so much tea.

Mad, Bad and dangerous

I have just finished reading "Mad, Bad and dangerous --the scientist and the cinema", by Christopher Frayling. In my first draft of the post I had a sentence of the form: "Among us hard science types we don't much like media studies type degrees". When I thought about I couldn't remember actually having a discussion about "media studies" with anyone, and in fact I have no idea what the field of media studies actually involves. The tabloid press (via google news) are always complaining about the number of people taking degrees in media studies.

Anyway I thought Frayling's book was a great study of the scientist portrayed in the cinema. He discusses both the mad scientist film and the biopic (of Madame Curie for example). Given that some attempts to do outreach of research can be misrepresented by the press, it is important to understand how science is portrayed in the media. (Of course I can't blame the media for talking about the "God particle", that is bullshit from certain section of the physics community).

The end of the book is now slightly out of date, because of shows like: CSI, big bang theory, and num3ers, show scientists in a slightly more realistic light.

Gil Scott-Heron

When I used to work in Wembley around 1985, a person I worked with took me to see a gig that was part of the red wedge tour. (This was a bunch of artists supporting the labour party -- pre-Blair of course). We wanted too see Billy Bragg play, but he played first, so we missed him because we were in the pub.

What I actually only remember about the gig was hearing "the revolution will not be televised" by Gil Scott-Heron. This was an amazing track, that I spent a lot of time tracking down, by buying CDs and looking in cool record shops.

Nowadays I would just do a google search, or look on Amazon for a track I wanted The guardian are streaming his new album. I was so sad to see that he had a lot of alcohol and coke problems. His early songs seemed positive to me -- even the one about living in the bottle.

Fitness

I must be at a low point for fitness. I keep meaning to do something. In the meantime I found the technique below. Not really a street technique..

winter dreams

I seem to have been going through a state of writers block. This could possibly be related to the snow that seems to have hung around all month.

Last night I had a vivid dream. We were involved in some kind of fight. I went to get some weapons out of the boot of a car. There were no more guns, so I had to make do with a large kitchen knife.

The dream changes and I am staying in a Travelodge like hotel. I was sleeping, but two of the hotel staff walked in and start making me an energy drink. I was worried by the two people walking in, but I liked the energy drink. Then I woke up.

I am not sure what it all means. I guess I shouldn't drink energy drinks in dreams if I want a good nights sleep. I am still bitter I didn't get a decent weapon. At the very least I could have got a flick knife, since they are semi-legal here.

Winter

The BBC was claiming that people in Germany were told to make sure they had 4 days supply of food, because of the new snow storm. Well fuck, no one told me! If they had I would have bourght more tins of beans from the supermarket. So far the snow has not been too thick here, so I don't think I will starve. I ran out of beer on Friday night, but that might have happened even if I had bought 4 days supply.

It is well know that the winter weather cause arguments. In my case, if I was in a relationship, I would be arguing about the heating. I usually fell a sense of failure as a man, if I have to turn the heating on. It makes me feel sluggish and slow. Of course given that it has been sub zero for most of the day, I have had to heat on for the majority of the the day. There is no heat at the moment, so I could write this post in good faith.

I join Top Gear

I know that no one is really interested in my dreams, but I have to tell someone.

Last night I dreamed that I was a presenter on the British TV series "Top Gear". I don't think I had a very good influence on the show, because the show no longer involved cars. The episode did involve robbing the safe of a German student union. There was a shot of us presenters in wet suits going into the water to sneak into Germany. Then there was a shot of me and Clarkson drilling the safe open.

Clarkson drilled a bill hole into the safe and a lot of rubbish fell out. I might some off colour joke about German workmanship, that I have been feeling guilty about all day. I guess this is the kind of thing that happens when you hang out with Clarkson. I then woke up, feeling that the episode of Top Gear was a bit crap, because there was no continuity between the wet suit scene and the blowing of the safe.

All a bit strange really. I blame the snow.

The clip below gives you some idea of the show when I am not involved.

The dark knight returns

When I was maybe 20 I worked over the summer for the National Nuclear Corporation. One day I heard one of the older permanent workers ask a woman if she liked the Batman graphic novel that he had lent her. He said "the characters are no longer just black and white".

Even then crippled by young age, I could tell that she was not interested, but was trying to be polite. I imagined, that after he had lent here a graphical novel, the next step for him was ask to go on a date (or maybe make her a compilation tape if it was a possible serious relationship). However, it looked as though he was going to get the "we are just platonic friends speech", possibly with the addition, "you know like Batman and Robin", if she was cruel.

After just reading the graphics novel "the dark knight returns" by Frank Miller, I wish I could go back in time and say to my younger self, "go and borrow the graphics novel -its great". Unfortunately, Hawkins has proved time travel impossible, or did he prove it was possible, oh well he is famous for one or the other.

At the start of the book Bruce Wayne is drinking too much. He had agreed to stop being Batman a long time ago, but the black rage and thirst for justice starts to overwhelm him. Then the Bat is back. Just like me, this book speaks to me. At the end of the book, there is a fight between Batman and superman! Me and Bruce agree that Clark Kent was too "goody too shoes" and probably a swot at school, now superman is just a "hired gun" for the US government. And there is no more "send the joker back to prison", batman finally kills him. This is why the book is more powerful than the films. Perhaps, I will lend the book to some lucky lady.

Mad science

Umm, there was a typo in the last post. Apparently Christopher Frayling is actually Sir Christopher Frayling. He seems to have got a knighthood by writing about vanmpires, and Spaghetti Westerns. So unfair. The book below looks interesting.

Mad, Bad and Dangerous?: The Scientist and the Cinema (Hardcover) horror, Product Description
Since its origin cinema has had an uneasy relationship with science and technology: scientists are almost always impossibly mad or impossibly saintly, and technology is nearly always very bad for you. In Mad, Bad and Dangerous?, Christopher Frayling explores the genealogy of the film scientist in films made in Western Europe, and especially in Hollywood after the 1930s, showing how in film the scientist has often been used to represent the prevailing phobias of the time. In the 1950s, for example, films were dominated by the fear of botched atomic research, and were a showcase of mutated, outsized creatures and radioactive zombies. Since Hitchcock?s The Birds, however, the role of the scientist has been less straightforward, and by the 1970s damage to the environment and the spread of diseases were the predominant consequences of science gone wrong. Scientists ? and the corporations that controlled them ? became the ?baddies?. The author also examines in parallel the portrayal of real-life scientists in the movies, noting how they are in the main depicted as misfits, immersed in their work, sacrificing any normal life to the interests of science, yet distrusted by the scientific establishment. Interestingly, the cinematic portrayal of fictional and real-life scientists follow very similar dramatic conventions, and Frayling concludes that the mad scientist and the saintly one are two sides of the same Hollywood coin.

Vampires

Over the holidays I read "vampyres" by Christopher Frayling. This was a "sampler" of different articles about vampires upto Bram Stoker's book. I picked this book up at the Blackwells shop on the Liverpool campus. The book is a really an academic study of vampires, but written in a way that could be enjoyed by anyone with gothic interests.

I didn't realise that Dracula book was not the first book about vampires. Also there were claims of realy vampire outbreaks. One priest even wrote a book trying to reconcile the claims of outbreaks of vampirism with the bible (what else ...)

Lord Bryon wrote an early story that was under two pages. I liked the quote from Lord Bryon better: quote> Do you know that when I look on some face I love, imagination has often figured the changes that death must one day produce in it - the worm rioting on lips now smiling, the features of health changed to the livid and ghastly tints of purification ... this is one of the pleasures of the imagination

One of my ancestors used to hang out with Bryon, before he was corrupted by the church.

God is not great

I had great plans for work today, but I spent most of the day reading "God is not great" by Christopher Hitchens. The book is a great polemic against religion. I enjoyed it more than the equivalent book by Dawkins. Hitchen's book is particularly good as a critique of the institution of religion. Before reading this book, I might (if I could be bothered) have said, although there is no God, the institutions of the church or Mosque are perhaps useful. Not any longer!

Anyway, yesterday a miracle happened to really focus my attention on the message on the book.

The return of depression economics

I have just read "The return of depression economics" by Paul Krugman. Krugman won the Nobel prize for economics in 2008. The book was about the various economic problems in Asia, and Latin America. The aim was to learn some lessons to apply to the current crisis that our bankers have unleashed. What was particularly depressing was that Japan has been in recession for a decade! I now understand the importance of exchange rates.

Now that I am an expert on reading popular books on economics, I understand the world a lot better. For example I didn't expect that my local supermarket would close at 16:00 on New Years Eve. As I walked into town through the freezing fog, I thought, no doubt all the other supermarkets will be closed too. And yes they were, even the supermarket at the Wuppertal train station, that usually stays open late, was closed.

Anyway the "off licence" near the station was still open, so I could buy beer. I paid 6 Euros for 4 cans of bier, rather than the 4 Euros I would have paid at a supermarket. Supply and demand in action!

Happy Christmas

Although the older Bob Dylan is not a patch on the younger Bob Dylan. His last few albums have been good. The first volume of his autobiography was just fanatastic. So I was disappointed to hear rumours that he wanted to collaborate with Paul McCartney. Why, oh why? I am not a great fan of the Beatles, but Paul's solo stuff is just shit and dull.

Even more weirdly I learnt that Bob was going to make a Christmas album. The one track from youtube I have seen, I really like. So perhaps, Bob is trying is hand at making good art from unpromising building blocks. Will he get pot head Sir Paul to change a habit of a lifetime and produce a reasonable song. If he does I will be impressed.

Christmas shopping

I really hate Christmas shopping. Although I mostly buy everything from Amazon, sometimes I have to actually mingle with the great unwashed masses and goto the shops. Today I went to the cityarkade in the center of Wuppertal to get that last elusive remaining gift.

The main problem is of course what to get people. I remember the brother of the unibomber in the states, felt that giving him Conrad's "the Secret Agent" started him on the path to terrorism.

I almost bought a tin of Sauerkraut, but since I am only taking hand luggage. I couldn't face explaining to the security what the tin was for. I did see what I thought was the perfect gift. I saw two thin tall glasses. Perfect, I though two traditional German tall glasses and a couple of German beers from the local Tesco should do the trick. On a second look though the glasses looked liked vases.

On the bright side I did find something nice for me. In a bookshop I found a package containing a hip flask and a knife. Why the two things were in the same box, I don't know. I will look so cool, sipping water from a hip flask, rather than using one of those nasty plastic bottles. It ill be useful to stop bullets as well, just like what happens on TV.

The future of Technics and Civilization

I reckon I only have a cubic meter of books to read in my unread book collection. Thanks to the general crappness of the German postal system, I have not been buying too many new books. I spent part of the weekend speed reading "The future of Technics and Civilization" by Lewis Mumford. I think I got this book from the Anarchist Freedom press in London.

The book is about the effect of the development of machines and automation on human society. When I was reading it I did think I should really read it more slowly to really absorb the content. However, since I was also writing perl scripts to extract data from xml files I didn't really have time. So I really misunderstood the whole point of the book, since it is partly about how automation could be used to free us from drudgery.

What the scientific spirit has actually done has to be exercise the imagination in finer ways than the autistic wish -- the wish of the infant possessed of illusions of power and dominance -- was able to express. Lewis Mumford

PS on dreams

I spoke too soon in my last post. I slept badly last night and I had many confusing dreams about work and calculations. I awoke late in a bad mood.

Even in Germany the cartoons on the TV tend to degenerate after 9:30. No spiderman or Xmen if you get up to the TV late on a Sunday morning. I noticed the same pattern in the US and the UK. Only people who get up at the crack of dawn get to see the interesting non-sickly cartoons.

action dreams and thriller

For a long time I really feared my dreams. It was not that they were scary, or that I feared Morpheus's arrogance, but somehow I felt destroyed and unrefreshed the next day. (I wasn't dreaming about work either). So I did understand a little bit why Junky Jackson used his oxygen bottles and drip to help him sleep.

Last Tuesday I dreamt I could weep bullets out of my eyes. Somehow my motorbike was hidden somewhere, but hidden like an interesting challenge to find. I talked to some people before they went into suspended animation. I awoke with the thought that I am dreaming my own action movie. Perhaps then I have made peace with my dreams, if I spend all night dreaming of action movies. Luckily, Freud is out of fashion, so I can just enjoy all the explosions in my dreams.

The Freemasons

I spent part of today reading "the freemasons" by Jaremy Harwood. My life is wondering more towards failure than success, so before I get too deep into my studies of the occult, I thought I would check out the "freemasons" as a compromise.

Perhaps surprisingly, there was a huge Mason lodge in Salt Lake city. The size of the pillars always impressed me. Now I know there was a reason for that. I was depressed when the main character in War and Peace joined the Masons.

Their belief system is fairly strange. I was more impressed by it, that I was by reading about Scientology or Mormonism. Their view of the Universe as weird enough for me to be interested.

At first I thought I couldn't join the Masons, because I don't believe in God. Later in the book, I found that certain Lodges would admit atheists. Also, I was happy to see that sodomy didn't feature as part of the initiation ceremonies. Given that some people claim that the Masons come from the Templars I wanted to be sure, nothing nasty would happen. So I was about to look for a local Lodge. I liked the idea of joining a secret society. However, when I saw that I would have to wear an apron, i decided against joining the Freemasons. It is fine line between weird and stupid.

Food

I always used to be ashamed of the English in Spain. I like a cooked breakfast like the next man, but really is a full English a good way to start a nice hot day? Although I am living in Germany, I have been trying to live my life by the phrase: "when in Rome, do as the Romans do."

However, sometimes I need proper British food for dinner. Yes I need curry. They do serve curry in the Mensa, but it doesn't have the correct kick. It has taken a while to find the correct shops to get the ingredients, but I made my first curry on Saturday.

For lunch today I ate Gebackene Bohnen, so I am back on the German food.

Tulip

Given the state of world economy, particularly after the recent jitters with Dubai, I decided I should try to learn more about the dismal science: economics. So from my unread book collection I started reading "The Tulip" by Anna Pavord.

The connection between economics and Tulips is that there was a famous speculative market in Tulip bulbs in the seventeen century in Holland. Rare tulip bulbs could cost as much the equivalent of 80,000 pounds. When the market was stopped a number of people were ruined. All through the history of the tulip there were people who spent too much money on them. The message from the book was that people were a bit stupid to invest in tulips. Much the same can be said about Dubai.

After reading the book the question I mostly want answered is what the difference between a Tulip and a daffodil? After reading the book, I am not sure that I want to start a garden, but perhaps I should know more about plants and things. I know that a flower is not the same as a tree, but that is the extent of my knowledge.

Goodbye

People are very friendly in Germany. My neighbours are always wishing me "Schon Abend". I am not sure what to say back. My German books are of no help. I have taken to going out early and coming back late, so the issue doesn't arise.

Trouble is I am not sure what I would say back to the equivalent phrase in English. In the US, if someone says "Have a nice day", I think how nice and polite people are in America. In the UK, if someone says "have a nice day", I think "how vulgar, why are they using US speak? What about a good old traditional English, now bugger off".

Rather than ask anyone I have done some web searching. I did find a research article on linguistic politeness in German-speaking Switzerland

There is even a theory of linguistic politeness, Wow I might indulge in a little "negative politeness".

die Fremden wissen nicht einmal wie man richtig grüsst' [foreigners do not even know how to greet properly.

That's me.

Blue sky

I live on the 8 floor of block of flats. I look out on a forest of trees that have lost their leaves. If I look to the left, I can see the grimy city center of Wuppertal.

This morning I looked out to see a beautiful clear blue sky. The sun was also shining. It will be a wonderful day I thought, perhaps I will go for a walk later on.

I was about to jump out of bed to go onto the balcony and smell this crisp new Winter's day, when my body decided that I should go to the toilet to throw up first. When I came back, I could see clouds taking over the sky from the left. If you don't take the moment of beauty, you lose it.

The Mass Psychology of Fascism

This afternoon I finished reading "The Mass Psychology of Fascism" by Wilhelm Reich. I can't remember why I picked this book up. I dimly remember buying it in the left wing books shop called "News from Nowhere" in Liverpool. But why I wanted it, I have no idea.

Anyway the book is a mixture of Marxism and Freud. It was written during the early 30s, when the author was trying to understand why "the masses" don't always do what is in their best interest, such as supporting Fascism. Reich points out the importance of sexual health to democracy. (Perhaps if I was getting more sex, I might start voting again. Trouble is, I will have to vote at the next UK election by proxy, because I am living in Germany)

Given that large parts of the left were supporting Stalin at the time the book was written, it is refreshing to read an independent thinker present his ideas.

Now that I look at Wikipedia, I see that Reich led a very interesting life,

CNN

In the UK I like to listen to the Today program when I get up in the morning. This usually gives a good overview of the news. As much as I love TV, I can't stand morning TV, since it is patronizing and shit.

In Wuppertal I have been watching CNN in the morning. Frankly I can' take it any more. It is not just the content, this is pretty terrible of course. Is it really a big news story that Tiger Woods crashed his car? The amount of content on CNN in the morning makes Twitter seem verbose. It is the adverts that are really destroying me mentally. All the adverts are the same day after day. No I am not going to invest in Georgia. There was a fucking war there last year. It is the piano playing that is really doing my head in. Every advert has the same chords/notes played. I feel they are trying to brain wash me.

If you are thinking "well why don't you stop watching?". Well I can't, because I am in love. One of the female weather presenters (Jill Delgado??) fascinates me. She is so happy and smart. She wears different clthes everyday, like a really classy chick. I don't stalk her or anything and my feelings about her are chaste. I don't build here into my masturbation fantasies, but if I did think about her physically, I think she would make a lot of noise in love making, and her partner would wake up exhausted with scratches on their back.

If any lawyer from CNN contacts me to complain, I do need to know where the storms are. It is a basic human right to know the delays at airports, because of tropical storms.

Marx is back baby

A spectre is haunting Wuppertal - the spectre of Communism. All the Powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.

Nowadays Marxism is almost a forgotten memory. Even as the banking crisis has started the death of capitalism, you don't see the dialectic being taken up. (Although I did see a poster with "Marx Lessen" on it at work). But I still feel the pull of Engels. Engels was born in Barmen -- one of the towns that Wuppertal is made of. And there is a house I can visit.

art

Two weekends ago I was entertaining. As part of this, we went to Cologne for a visit. The Cathedral is always impressive to see, however the huge rail station, a monument to science and technology, helps to dwarf some of its power.

We also visited the Ludwig Museum, a museum of modern art. I like the disintegration of modern art, from cubism to Warhol, but the "product" from the Turner prize crowd leaves me cold. Perhaps reality had been stripped so bare visually, that only making money by weaving the Emperors new clothes was left.

I was more excited by looking out of the windows on the top floor, than by the video pieces. I wish we had gone to the Chocolate museum as well. I was told it has a huge fountain of chocolate.

I also saw a Bier museum that looked just like a small pub. The next time I am in a Wetherspoons pub, I will say "there is the great new concept from Germany."

books

People often wonder why people buy so many books. To make myself more interesting I got a copy of "Fun with Hypnosis - the comlete how to guide". Before I have even opened this book I find from Wired that "The Official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception" has been found.

So even before I have started on hypnosis I will have to get the CIA book, just in case.

Chair destroyer

I know I have put on some weight these past few years, but I am starting to get worried. The chair I use when I am using my computer collapsed on me this morning. One minute I was browsing the web, the next I am lying on the floor. I am not sure where to buy chairs in Wuppertal. I guess that there are no Argos shops here. In my defense I think the chair was poorly made.

Visit spam and Caviar

I usually take various measures to stop myself dreaming. However, last week I slipped up and my night was poisoned by a dream. I dreamt that I had bought a desktop lamp. I awoke with a feeling of regret once I found out that the lamp didn't exist.

My imagination must be very sick indeed, if all I dream about is buying lamps. I have tried to think about something remarkable about my weekend to write about.

On Saturday morning I was reading "The mass Psychology of Fascism" by Wilhelm Reich. Suddenly the door buzzer started ringing. They have come for me I thought. What to do? Given that I had no appointments I didn't answer the door. The door lock is broken, and I didn't feel like going down 8 floors to have a misunderstood conversation in German, with someone trying to read the gas meter.

I have wanted to try Caviar for sometime. Now Caviar is very expensive and I think the original fish are dying out, so it is probably unethical to eat it. I was surprised to see a jar of Caviar in my local supermarket. Given that the jar cost 3 Euros, I don't think it was authentic. I had some on my bread for lunch. It was tasty. Hopefully nothing will grow inside from ingesting those black eggs.