chips as a way of life and death

I was talking with someone at work today. Suddenly I felt my throat tighten and I started to sweat. Unfortunately, my first thought was that I was having a heart attack, based on my medical knowledge obtained by watching Richard Pryor's DVD: Live in concert. This didn't calm me down. Anyway I kept on talking, because in my experience people get worried when you rush out of a room, mumbling about "going to emergency room." I don't think it was a heart attack, because when I discretely burped, I began to feel better. People tend to look down on "chips" as a food stuff, but I feel that the resulting indigestion has forced me to come to terms with my own mortality.

the grand tour

When I was in Florence a couple of week ago, I occasionally found myself admiring some attractive Italian woman. However, many times I found that the beautiful Italian spoke with an American accent. (Not that I was trying to chat anyone else up I might add). It must be the in thing for American chicks to spend time in Florence to try and look Italian.

To the holy shrines

I have just finished reading "To the Holy Shrines" by Sir Richard Burton. This was famous journey that Burton made to Mecca. He had to go in disguise, because westerners were not allowed in that city. Perhaps, it is still illegal for non-arabs to enter Mecca. The book was written in 1853, so we are not talking about the welsh actor. Burton is a very intriguing figure. In this trip, it took a lot of planning to get into Mecca. He had to convince everyone around him that he was not English. It helped that he spoke many languages. The wikepedia entry contains many of his other exploits, such as trying to find the source of the Nile. In these modern times, there is not such a big need for explorers. If I want to find out the source of the River Kelvin, I can just use google. Where is the magic in that? I have another book by Burton on swords. I am still reading that. Richard Burton was also used as a character in the Riverworld Saga books by Philip Jose Farmer . So now you know my interest.

Britney Spears

I am frankly tired of Britney Spears stealing my best ideas. She is probably having problems not with the booze, but controlling her telepathic abilities. My plan when my unhappiness got too much was to shave my hair off. This would show people that I was really suffering inside. Of course they would probably just assume that I had joined the National Front. Now what can I do? The only idea that comes to mind is a bit of self-flagellation but that it too common place and people wouldn't like my blood spread around the building. (When there is a cure for Aids that will be more socially acceptable). If Britney starts whipping herself in public then I will know that my mind control experiments have succeeded. Then she can stop this rehab business and come to Glasgow and hang out with me. I could take her to a local pub and use her to win Karaoke competitions. Hopefully her singing voice is up to that, otherwise she will be send straight back to LA.

Yoko Ono

Weird things happen. Occasionally various radio 6 presenters have played tracks from the latest Yoko Ono CD "Yes I'm a Witch." Yoko was either hated for breaking up the Beatles, or lampooned for her crazy music. When I listen to the CD, it does sound really good with a pleasing electronic sound. What next you may ask, is Craig going to get into James Blunt? The answer to that is NO! I would like to say that I have separated music from the celebrity life style, but I really got the CD because I am in love with Cat power who plays on some of the tracks.

Hot fuzz

I went out to see the film "Hot fuzz" last night. I was a bit worried because the reviews from UK flm critics were not particularly enthusiastic. Still I think it is a great film. There is a big shoot out at the end of the film, that the critics hated, but I thought it was pretty clever. Of course if you live on a steady diet of action movies, then a bit of shooting is always welcome. There were a lot of in jokes. I have seen Point Break but I have never seen Bad Boys II. On the other hand I mostly watch action movies from Korean and Japan these days. OK, so I need to watch Bad Boys II, and then watch hot fuzz. Life is stressful.

can

I have been listening to the first CD ("Monster Movie") that the famous German band "Can" made. Can very influencial, but they were not so successful commercially. I have to admit that I had never heard of them before this year. The sound of Can is very impressive. Normally I am never very fussed by a band's playing ability, but there is something about their sound like. Being a nerdy type of guy, there is the issue of which singer of Can you prefer. I of course vote for Malcolm Mooney, because he had to leave the band for mental health reasons. His singing style is more a shouting rant, but hey it works for. I also liked their second singer Damo Suzuk, but Mooney had the crazier singing style.

24

I have felt under a lot of stress to watch all of the box set of 24 series 5 in a week. I know that in a world of insane rulers, who are thinking about attacking Iran, my mission to watch all of the 24 in a week may seem trivial. But I felt I owed it to Jack Bauer to complete this simple task, because he defends LA from terrorists. I don't really have time to watch 24 50 minute episodes in a week, so I have been staying up later to stay on course. The next time I watch a box set of 24, I will just dedicate the entire weekend to the task. This does show a somehwat addictive streak. I am glad we didn't have box sets of DVDs when I was growing up, because it would have eaten into book learning. I feell lost now that there isn't the frantic rush to see all the episodes before blockbuster wants it back. 24

Cake or death

If you were to wonder into a record store in Glasgow, you might see a sad figure looking at the CD around the Ha section. He would rumage around looking for the latest Lee Hazelwood CD "cake or death". Many times, in many different shops he raises his bloated little head and mutters a dark curse and leaves the shop with his hands clutching the empty air. But today, in fopps in the fabulous West End of Glasgow, he finds the CD he wants in another section. He clutches it to his breast and gives a little yelp of joy, that is throttled by the startled stares of his fellow shoppers.

Florence

I went to a meeting in Florence last week. In principle it is very cheap to get from Glasgow to Florence via the airport at Pisa. The dreaded Ryanair have flights every two days. The flight from Glasgow is from Prestwick airport, that is actually over 30 miles from the centre of Glasgow. I am sure that there is a reason, but the flight left at 7:05. There is one bus to Prestwick airport that gets there early enough, but I hadn't booked a ticket. So I had to get a taxi at 4:30. There is a good site about the best airports to sleep at. I am not really sure I hade the correct reading material for visiting a famous Italian city. On the trip over I read "Firefox hacks tips and tools for next generation browsing." When I got to Pisa airport I bought a ticket to take me to Florence. When I got to the bus I found it was going to some place called Firenze. All the signs pointed to Firenze so it must be the place I thought. As the bus moved along I began to get more nervous that I was going to the wrong city. Of course I could have asked someone, but frankly it would have been embarrassing (and frankly I would have deserved a smack in the head). As I wondered around the city trying to find my hotel, I was also too nervous to ask for directions, just in case I got the helpful advice "you are in the wrong city". While I was walking around, I turned the corner and saw the cathedral. "Wow, ok I am in Florence". Whenever I see a cathedral I just think of the blood and sweat of the workers who built it while the bishops sat on their plush thrones praying to God that they never have to do manual labour. The cathedral at Florence is very impressive. I didn't go inside of course -- I feel queasy on holy ground. Later I met up with some people and we went for food. On the menu, there was chicken and fried potatoes, but I was told when in Rome, do as the Romans do, so I had some tripe instead. Tripe is eaten in Lancashire -- perhaps raw. I am not sure that tripe agrees with me. Anyway I had some Italian ice cream and that made me feel better.

Harvard

I was reading an article about another insane idea from Blair about how to fund British Universities in the online guardian. As part of the article, they listed the famous people who had studied at Harvard. The fist person on the list was William S. Burroughs. I was so tempted to leave my warm flat to find "the man" so I could bring fame to Glasgow Uni. Perhaps, I should get married so I could play the William Tell sexual game, before leaving for Mexico.

Elliot Smith

While I was web surfing today I found out that Elliot Smith had killed himself. I own a number of CDs by Elliot Smith. He played a kind of twangy melodic solo music that appeals to loner losers like me. If I couldn't find any CD I wanted in a store I would get an Elliot Smith CD, because I knew I would like it.

24

This is going to have to a be a short post. I rented the box set for "24" series 5 on Friday. I managed to watch the first 6 hours of the show yesterday, but frankly there is a limit too how long I can stare at the screen. (OK, I should have started watching it on Friday and as soon as I got out of bed on Saturday). Perhaps I have an addictive personality, but if there are 24 episodes, then frankly I must watch them as soon as possible. When something exciting happens there is a some drum beat and my heart rate goes up. I may as well call in sick tomorrow and watch the entire show. IT HAS TO BE DONE.

hard core po*rn

A bit of a typo in the title, what I meant to say was hard core punk. I have been reading American Hardcore - a tribal history by Steven Blush. Hard core punk was an American punk movement based on playing really fast. (If you want to know more then you can read the book). In my amateur opinion, the most famous of the hard core punk bands were: Dead Kennedys, D.O.A. and Blag Flag. My only real involvement with hard core punk was around 1985. My family was living in Knutsford. This is a small town with a very small record shop. My mum was going into Manchester, so I asked her to get me the latest Dead Kennedy's record. When she back she said, that it wasn't in the store and one of the clerks thought that was because it had been banned. This was probably just after the Dead Kennedys had broken up after some court case about some art work included with their records. My mum was not best pleased to be asked to buy a banned record, but I didn't know it had been banned. Somewhere in the boxes around me I have CDs and tapes by some of the bands mentioned in the book. Some of the US record stores I used to frequent used to sell tapes and CDs by circle jerks and others. I was always intermediated by the straight edge scene. This was a subset of punk who didn't do drugs or booze. That scene imploded as well, so I can enjoy my beer at gigs. Blush knew so many of the hard core bands. I was dissapointed that he didn't mention 9 LB hammer from Kentucky, but on reflection they may have not fit the hardcore straight jacket. I have been to see bands play where the audience was slam dancing. My guess was I watching a pale shadow of the slam dancing done in between 80 to 86s. It did look to be done by blokes who had watched too much MTV. Anyway I used to stand many rows behind the people standing outside the pit. I had never heard of a band called "bad brains", so I have ordered a CD by them. Steven Blush would be pis*ed, but I decided to buy some early slayer CDs as well. Slayer were never a hard core punk band, but they were influenced by the hard core punk bands. I am now feel up to date on both the "post-punk" and hard core punk scenes, so it is time to move on. I don't think I will be reading a book about whatever scene Green Day are in, because I still bitterly regret buying a CD by Green Day. Every time I see some one with a Green Day T-shirt, I am reminded how much I hated the Green Day CD.

JJ Cale

Although I was wondering around in a confused state, last week, due to the flu/cold that was controlling me, I still seemed to have the energy to stay up late and watch a documentary about JJ Cale. I first got into JJ Cale, when I picked up a tape of his at a market close to Wembley Stadium. I don't think I have ever talked to anyone else who liked JJ Cale. In some sense I feel a bit guilty about liking JJ Cale. He is not so prolific and not so driven to create new songs and sounds as other people. Certainly, he doesn't make so many records as say John Cale. Also John Cale has experimented with music way more tha JJ Cale. The documentary only played stuff, I had heard before. Also his sound hasn't changed too much. If I didn' need things to change, then I would be happy to listening to the same Beatles tracks, over and over again, like the amjority of so called normal people with wide musical tapes. Anyway, I feel no guilt for liking JJ Cale's music (even though Clapton is a fan as well). I can remember John Peel playing a track of JJ Cale's. After complaining about JJ Cale not making many records, I have just seen on Amazon that he has put out a number of records that I don't own.

more DVD stuff

I watched the DVD: "Rancid" on Friday night. This film was about a failed writer who gets mixed up with an ex-girl friend. There was a lot of chasing about. I personally thought that the hero was a dick. There was one scene, where his ex-girl friend sees that he has not written a single new line on his novel, since she left him six years ago. That is taking the muse thing too far. Roll on interactive TV. I could then join the film and waste most of the characters, except the nice cop with the moustache. Perhaps, I am just bitter that the "writer" still ended up with a new chick, even after his ex-girlfriend got cut up and died. Saturday night's viewing was better, as I watched the DVD Taxi 3. Being a sad person, I have watched both Taxi 1 and Taxi 2. Taxi 3 was set in Marseilles. It was a fun film about police looking for bank robbers. There was a lot of fast car stuff. Gosh, I so want to visit Marseilles.

health

When ever I go to see a film I have to sit through the adverts before a film shows at the cinema. In Glasgow this involves first seeing an advert against smoking, then an advert aganst drinking, then an advert warning of the dangerous of cocaine, and then an advert about the importance of keeping fit. Nanny state or what? I usually gnash my teeth and hope that the zombie movie main feature starts soon, so that I can see some ones head ripped (now that is something I need to worry about). The people of glasgow seem pretty normal to me. From the adverts at the cinema I would guess that the place is full of overweight alcholic crack heads. The adverts before films in England used to try to sell me icecream and whisky (yummy). Also I can't seem to be able to buy "pop tarts" here. I couldn't find any in the big Tescos in the Maryhill shop centre. Pop tarts are very useful to have in the cupboard -- in case of surprise guests. Also Tesco will only sell medium strength chillis. I want maximum strength chillis.

holidays

I have seem to have spent an age sitting on the couch. I am soon to be coming up to a birthday with a number that ends with one of those dreaded 0s in. So I thought I should go somewhere slightly different. The other option was spending my birthday in Glasgow, perhaps staying in with a crate of beer and a box set of the 24 series on DVD (sounds fun though!). So this morning I booked a holiday to Beijing, China. Using expedia makes travelling too easy. In the past I have burnt out very badly and I have had to go on an emergency holiday. Getting the flight was usually easy, but getting the hotel was always so hard. So a couple of times I have turned up to places with no place to stay. On reflection I don't think it was so wise to arrive at the airport in Mexico City with no hotel room booked (There was a counter where they booked me a room). I did of course think I was like Jack Kerouac in "On the Road" where Jack and his buddies slept on a car in a Mexican city after they had smoked a little too much blow. Also I have had bad experiences with paying huge amounts for a hotel because I didn't plan anything. I would like to travel by hitchhiking or just get on a truck and wonder around a country. I don't think that China is so exotic. It would be cool to go somewhere like Latin America, but I am coward. One of the tours that Expedia recommended was to do a trip to the great wall of China and shoot weapons. Ex-members of the chinese military would be on hand to help. Yep, that would be a cool way to spend my birthday. I doubt that people would be impressed though. "Oh yeah I went to China and shot at the great wall of china with a gun." Not eco-tourism. I was telling some people over lunch that I was going to Beijing in March. Somebody noted, that should be before the "dust storms start." What! Cool, I can't really enjoy a holiday unless there is a nice bit of suffering.

music shop

I have found another good place to get CDs in the fabulous West End of Glasgow. The shop is called Lost in Music. It is behind Woolworths (location wise only) on Byers Road. I was a bit unsure about the place until I found that they sold Lee Hazelwood CDs (although not his latest CD). They also have a small section for German music (krautrock). I got a copy of the CD Landed by Can. I liked the sound of this band a lot. I am going to have get more CDs by can. I need to check out the CDs when they had crazy singers. The fall have written a song to honour one of Can's singers. Yes Can are that important. I should have been listening to Can when I was at school in the early 80s. I will have to sign on to friends united, so I can complain about my friends not being cool enough to introduce me to ground breaking new music.

born to fight

If anyone is thinking that all I do is sit at home and watch DVDs then they would be right. Given this cold/flu thing I can just about do something useful for an hour before I have to lie down. Last night I watched the DVD "born to fight". This was an action movie set in Thailand. There was a fairly standard chase sequence at the beginning of the film. Two cops are chasing two big lorries. Then somebody fell off the top of the lorry onto the ground. Normally when this is done there is some clever cutting and you know the guy went onto a mat. But that didn't happen in this film. One guy gets knocked off the top of the lorry and in a single shot you see him fall on the ground. The lorry looked as though it was travelling fairly fast. Wow, I though the stunt men in Thailand are pretty hard. The whole film was full of stunts that looked real. In the interview part of the DVD, the director noted that they tried to do a blue scene version of a stunt, but it didn't look real enough so they got a better stunt man to do it for real. OK, the plot wasn't upto much. As the reviewers noted it was not as good as Ong Bak, but still it was a surprise to see something like that.