The birth of consumer quantum mechanics

I am starting to think that my greatest contribution to science will be the flu-flight connection. If I take a quick trip to the US, I spend a week and half in brain dead flue mode, while I try to recover. It was my birthday on Tuesday and I wanted to go out and party. However, I was so sensitive to cold that I couldn't travel far. I went to Oddbins to buy a bottle of sake. The staff at the Byers Rd store told me they didn't have any in, but phoned a close by store to reserve me a bottle. I got the time and space thing mixed up, partly because I can't remember exactly the name of every off license in a 3 mile radius. The store with the bottle of sake with my name on it turned out to be a lot further down Great Western Rd than I thought. But I dragged my shivering flu wrecked body in search of rice wine. In the Oddbins store on Great Western Rd, the staff were very friendly. When they gave me my bottle, I clutched it to my chest. They told me that they usually don't sell any sake for months. But today as soon as my bottle was reserved, two other people came in to buy sake. "Did I know why that was?". I started to mumble something about wave function collapse, and that there was an amplitude for various people to buy bottles of sake. One person decides he needs sake, so the wave function collapses, and two more have to buy sake. But then I thought I haven't told them I am a physicist, so I can get away with saying "f*ck knows why. It is weird though". Of course the sake buying choices of the people of Glasgow may be further evidence that I am being followed and studied. As I walked back up the great western Road I saw a Chinese restaurant appear before by cough racked body. Its my birthday I thought, must have fun. I ordered chicken in a pot, because someone had told me this was authentic in someway. The food was nice, but the chicken just came in a saucepan. At the end of the meal I was given a fortune cookie. This is my fortune: "Eat something you have never tried before". Anyway not love and wealth again. The fortune cookie knows how to humble one. If I hadn't been sick, I might have wanted to try here. A nice bit of caviar and a cocktail of some kind. (If I had been well I would have gone to the barfly to watch a female Japanese drone metal band). Still I think this shows that you don't need a party (or your health) to have a good time on your birthday.