Around the time of Burns night we were in the "three judges" pub in Glasgow. In the toilet there was some tape loop "telling us to wash our hands", that I decided to ignore. Two days later I was drinking a beer while I was on the Internet. Suddenly I found that I needed to throw up and go for a very wet shit. This set the tone for the weekend: puke, shit and watch TV. I couldn't face solid food at all on Saturday. What was worse that my body felt repulsed by beer. I have had periods when I have been ill with some plague before.. I just watch TV and sweat it out. This time seemed different, why did I now hate my good friend beer so much. I thought I had food poisoning from eating a burger from a van.
Sunday started the same as Saturday. I didn't know what was happening. On Saturday I thought the problem was food poisoning. I struggled out to the local shop to get ice cream, soup, and yogurt. It must gave been after my tenth shit of the day. I was sitting on the toilet, thinking "so this is what it means to have shit for brains", when it struck me that I had been genetically modified. Why else would I hate beer? I did have some clues though. I did watch a number of programs about Darwin. It seemed to fit, because the Scottish goverment was always trying to stop people drinking.
Anyway if you are thinking that this post has a lot of cuss words, I would humbly like to point out that the newspapers are claiming that swine flu is going to wipe out a large segment of the population, so you want to prioritize your indignation you stupid c**t.
On reflection I think my weekend of vomiting was due to some "winter vomiting illness." Say what you will, but at least these new CIA designed diseases, burn out in a couple of days.